Preparing to have the right balance on self-esteem

This post is inspired by something that appeared on Fox and Friends:

http://www.upworthy.com/fox-news-spends-6-minutes-describing-why-mr-rogers-was-an-evil-evil-man-5

I understand if you choose not to listen to the full clip; it's pretty nauseating. Also, it misses the point, but that's a big part of the job for this network, as well as inventing false points, so we can't be too surprised there.

I admit, my years of watching Mister Rogers are pretty far past, but I don't remember a lot of messages on how special we were. I think we learned things about what it was like being shy, or having too big a head, or being too small to do some things, or when you might need to apologize, but that the overall message was "I like you just the way you are."

Perhaps the biggest problem with the Fox news segment is that they are complaining about a generation that is probably post-Mr. Rogers anyway. Kids in college now may have watched some, but not the way people in their forties now did. Again, it's Fox.

And it's not necessarily that we can't overdo the self-esteem building. I remember attending a kindergarten graduation in the early nineties where the kids sang (to the tune of Frere Jaques):

I am special, I am special
If you look, you will see,
Someone very special, someone very special,
And it's me, and it's me.

I did think that was kind of hideous at the time, but I seem to remember that one coming from Barney.

Anyway, yes, we should be working to correct our mistakes, improve our talents, and to accomplish some actual good in the world, not just accepting responsibility for ourselves, but caring for the greater whole. I have nothing against that.

However, there is something very important about the message that each person has intrinsic worth. God loves you, because you are His child. I am supposed to love you, because you are my neighbor.  You are also supposed to love me, but it is not my job to judge whether you love me enough, and are really worthy.

It is important for children to know that. Understanding the value of hard work is good. Believing that it is necessary to be perfect in order to deserve love is bad. Believing that every bad thing that happens to you is a sign that you are bad, and that if people are cruel to you it is because of your flaws, and not theirs, is bad.

The network founded by Rupert Murdoch referring to Fred Rogers as an evil, evil man is so wrong, it's kind of funny, but it's also very sad.