My first thought reading this was the issue isn't so much about preparing them to be baptized as it is preparing them to be members. I was thinking about last week, and how many people stop keeping their commitments, and everything that goes wrong with that.
However, I started flashing back to different baptisms that I witnessed on my mission. I remembered the joy, and the relief for some who had waited a long time, and some of the participation by others and the good things from that.
I remember on teenager who took a long time to get parental permission, but he was so committed, and an excellent singer who was unable to complete her song at his baptism, because the emotions were so strong and her voice cracked. And she was embarrassed, but we all understood.
With the one who struggled with tithing, I remember his joy and relief when he was baptized. It had been a struggle within himself, and so it was a relief to realize that he could do it and had done it.
It's pretty common for Lao refugees to have three names. There is a formal Lao name, which would be the equivalent of the birth certificate name, and then usually a Lao nickname, and then especially with the younger ones, and American nickname, and that's mostly what they go by. (A lot of the children born here just get American names, so you can kind of look at the children and know what year they entered the country.)
Anyway, we were teaching one young man (he was about 20), and we always called him Tom, but his Lao nickname was Noy, which means "little". We had a family of stake missionaries that we worked with closely, and the father baptized Tom, but as they were talking, Tom gave his name as Noy and the father always called him that and referred to him as that after. I just remembered realizing that Tom, who was kind of alone in the world, felt drawn to this kind, fatherly man, and he felt protective in return, and it wasn't anything that was talked about, just felt.
It's not that what happens afterward isn't important; the value of covenants and ordinances comes as you keep them. However, those moments and milestones matter too, and they are important opportunities to let people serve and love each other.
I'm glad to take some time to remember that.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Preach My Gospel Chapter 11: Keep Commitments
That title sounds like it is about you, the missionary, keeping your commitments, which is very important, but the chapter is more about helping your investigators make and keep commitments.
One thing that was kind of a shock for me was to see that there would be times when people would know, and they would not do. Generally there was some sort of change they did not want to make. It may have just been something social, like not wanting to leave the church they were attending, but it was enough. Sometimes they would act regretful, and sometimes they would be kind of joking and trying to make light of it, and sometimes they got really hard-hearted about it, but the point was, they knew it was right to do something, and yet would not do it.
As a young missionary it was something that surprised me, and it made me sad, but it actually strikes me more now seeing it with people who have already committed to church, and then stop.
I've seen so many people say they were just going to take a break from church, and it turns into a permanent break. Maybe in the back of their mind that is what they want, but I do think some of them sincerely thought they could just take some time off and be okay, and that's never true.
I say this as someone who doesn't particularly enjoy church. My mind wanders a lot, and I don't always get that much out of it. However, I do get something out of putting myself into it. That just showing up, week after week, is more powerful than it appears.
It is really very easy to learn that something is true. Maintaining spiritual knowledge is harder. If you do not live up to the level of good that you know, you end up knowing less, and that can keep spiraling downward. There are a few examples that I am thinking of pretty hard, but I don't want to get into them, because these are real people, and it could be hurtful. They probably wouldn't recognize themselves, because seriously, they do not see it, but I still feel like it would be unfair.
I guess it's like love. When you start to love someone, everything is golden, and you are good to them because you want to me, and it's a beautiful thing. When you treat someone badly, you feel worse toward them. It may have been someone you truly loved, but maybe you got used to them, and your regularly scheduled selfishness intervened, or you held a grudge over something minor, and it just escalates.
Faith seems to have similar rules to love. The feels right. Integrity seems to play along with both.
Thinking about new faith and new love, it is terrible that we let things so precious go dim. Usually people aren't thinking it through. Every individual choice feels like it is just that, and not part of a series, but that's just not how it works. So when Alma asks "if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?", that's what he means. And it's easy for the answer to be "no", but it doesn't mean that the song was never real. And it doesn't mean that the song can't be found again.
One thing that was kind of a shock for me was to see that there would be times when people would know, and they would not do. Generally there was some sort of change they did not want to make. It may have just been something social, like not wanting to leave the church they were attending, but it was enough. Sometimes they would act regretful, and sometimes they would be kind of joking and trying to make light of it, and sometimes they got really hard-hearted about it, but the point was, they knew it was right to do something, and yet would not do it.
As a young missionary it was something that surprised me, and it made me sad, but it actually strikes me more now seeing it with people who have already committed to church, and then stop.
I've seen so many people say they were just going to take a break from church, and it turns into a permanent break. Maybe in the back of their mind that is what they want, but I do think some of them sincerely thought they could just take some time off and be okay, and that's never true.
I say this as someone who doesn't particularly enjoy church. My mind wanders a lot, and I don't always get that much out of it. However, I do get something out of putting myself into it. That just showing up, week after week, is more powerful than it appears.
It is really very easy to learn that something is true. Maintaining spiritual knowledge is harder. If you do not live up to the level of good that you know, you end up knowing less, and that can keep spiraling downward. There are a few examples that I am thinking of pretty hard, but I don't want to get into them, because these are real people, and it could be hurtful. They probably wouldn't recognize themselves, because seriously, they do not see it, but I still feel like it would be unfair.
I guess it's like love. When you start to love someone, everything is golden, and you are good to them because you want to me, and it's a beautiful thing. When you treat someone badly, you feel worse toward them. It may have been someone you truly loved, but maybe you got used to them, and your regularly scheduled selfishness intervened, or you held a grudge over something minor, and it just escalates.
Faith seems to have similar rules to love. The feels right. Integrity seems to play along with both.
Thinking about new faith and new love, it is terrible that we let things so precious go dim. Usually people aren't thinking it through. Every individual choice feels like it is just that, and not part of a series, but that's just not how it works. So when Alma asks "if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?", that's what he means. And it's easy for the answer to be "no", but it doesn't mean that the song was never real. And it doesn't mean that the song can't be found again.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Preach My Gospel Chapter 10: Teaching Skills
Reading over this brought back a few memories. Much of the focus was on how you needed to focus on the needs of the investigator. There was something in the manual earlier about adjusting lesson lengths, but you can also change the order of the information. Some people will need more background information. It requires listening well, and if that seems daunting, there is always inspiration for help. That requires listening too.
The first memory was V. He was an investigator in Modesto. He had been studying for about a year, but he was not taking it really seriously, and therefore not progressing. They got him to start reading the Book of Mormon, and he did start progressing, but then he got hung up on tithing.
This was not surprising. When you grow up doing it all your life, it may not seem like a big deal, but it can be a huge adjustment. Beyond that, a lot of the refugees really saw their worldly circumstances go down when they fled Laos. V had been a doctor; when I met him he was working security in a meat plant.
It felt impossible that he could consider paying ten percent of his income to the church. He thought he could do it later, if he saved up for a while, or maybe he could do a smaller percentage, but it was just too much. That's where he was when I met him, just after I transferred to Modesto. The sisters had filled me in, but I think this was the first time I met him, and we were having this talk, and I suddenly knew what to say. I still cannot convey it right now.
He was understanding it wrong. He wanted to be have better financial means, and then he could obey the commandment, but that was the blessing that would follow him keeping the commandment. That's the gist, but I can't tell you what words I used. I know I told him what he needed to hear, and I know I said it in Lao. I just as surely know that it was not really me.
The Lord worked through me, and maybe it was easier for me, because he was new to me. Sometimes you get into ruts with people who aren't progressing. Missionaries will refer to some as "eternals", and there are reasons for that, but labeling them may blind you to the answers you need.
I can't say those sisters were blind to him though, because they were the ones who got him reading the Book of Mormon, so they had gotten him to one point, and others who stuck with V while he was not taking it seriously, they played a part too. It's just important to keep your heart open so you can play your part well.
The first memory was V. He was an investigator in Modesto. He had been studying for about a year, but he was not taking it really seriously, and therefore not progressing. They got him to start reading the Book of Mormon, and he did start progressing, but then he got hung up on tithing.
This was not surprising. When you grow up doing it all your life, it may not seem like a big deal, but it can be a huge adjustment. Beyond that, a lot of the refugees really saw their worldly circumstances go down when they fled Laos. V had been a doctor; when I met him he was working security in a meat plant.
It felt impossible that he could consider paying ten percent of his income to the church. He thought he could do it later, if he saved up for a while, or maybe he could do a smaller percentage, but it was just too much. That's where he was when I met him, just after I transferred to Modesto. The sisters had filled me in, but I think this was the first time I met him, and we were having this talk, and I suddenly knew what to say. I still cannot convey it right now.
He was understanding it wrong. He wanted to be have better financial means, and then he could obey the commandment, but that was the blessing that would follow him keeping the commandment. That's the gist, but I can't tell you what words I used. I know I told him what he needed to hear, and I know I said it in Lao. I just as surely know that it was not really me.
The Lord worked through me, and maybe it was easier for me, because he was new to me. Sometimes you get into ruts with people who aren't progressing. Missionaries will refer to some as "eternals", and there are reasons for that, but labeling them may blind you to the answers you need.
I can't say those sisters were blind to him though, because they were the ones who got him reading the Book of Mormon, so they had gotten him to one point, and others who stuck with V while he was not taking it seriously, they played a part too. It's just important to keep your heart open so you can play your part well.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Preach My Gospel Chapter 9: Finding People
This one is kind of timely. Just yesterday morning we had Jehovah's Witnesses canvassing the neighborhood. We did not let them in, and judging by the short amount of time that the van was parked in front of our house, neither did anyone else. I told my sisters that tracting was the least effective way of finding people.
They were surprised by this. I think the vision that people have of missionaries is of them going door to door. That happens, but most of those people say "no". Often there isn't anyone home anyway, but when there is, they rarely decide to listen.
Most investigators come through having friends or family members in the church, followed by some who see promotional media, and then you get some from looking through people who had investigated and stopped, or working with less active members.
Really, referrals from friends and family is the big one. Not only has their exposure to the members given them some familiarity, where if they are showing additional interest it is with a better understanding of what they are doing, but also, it will help their adjustment a lot. With media, they are telling us they are interested because of something they saw. Stumbling into someone by going door to door is just less likely.
It was a little harder for us because we were specifically looking for Lao people. We would look for shoes outside the door, because they all had that, but they are not the only ones who do that. We found one Vietnamese family and one Anglo family that way. (They were not interested.)
There were a few area where there were more Lao living. Bigby Villa and 6th street were two. We did find someone interested once on 6th Street, but she was English speaking. We had to hand her off the the regular missionaries.
Once we teamed up with the Spanish-speaking sisters to cover an area that had a lot of Asian and Hispanic families. We talked to some people, but did not get any leads that I recall.
Going along with the previous post on using time wisely, you could wonder why tracting is even done at all. It's simple. There are some people that you won't get any other way, and they are just as important as the likely candidates.
Also, most people aren't ready the first time you ask. It takes multiple contacts with the Church to plant that seed. Tracting can do that.
"Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the Lord, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks." Jeremiah 16:16
Sometimes you can draw a big net and get a huge haul, but more often it is patiently hunting and searching, and believing that it has value.
As a full-time missionary, that's all you do. You want to teach and baptize, but you also contact and search and do the things that people with career and family responsibilities can't do. In the end, it should only be a small part of a lifetime of love and service, but it is a special and amazing part while it lasts, and you just need to go for it while you have the chance.
They were surprised by this. I think the vision that people have of missionaries is of them going door to door. That happens, but most of those people say "no". Often there isn't anyone home anyway, but when there is, they rarely decide to listen.
Most investigators come through having friends or family members in the church, followed by some who see promotional media, and then you get some from looking through people who had investigated and stopped, or working with less active members.
Really, referrals from friends and family is the big one. Not only has their exposure to the members given them some familiarity, where if they are showing additional interest it is with a better understanding of what they are doing, but also, it will help their adjustment a lot. With media, they are telling us they are interested because of something they saw. Stumbling into someone by going door to door is just less likely.
It was a little harder for us because we were specifically looking for Lao people. We would look for shoes outside the door, because they all had that, but they are not the only ones who do that. We found one Vietnamese family and one Anglo family that way. (They were not interested.)
There were a few area where there were more Lao living. Bigby Villa and 6th street were two. We did find someone interested once on 6th Street, but she was English speaking. We had to hand her off the the regular missionaries.
Once we teamed up with the Spanish-speaking sisters to cover an area that had a lot of Asian and Hispanic families. We talked to some people, but did not get any leads that I recall.
Going along with the previous post on using time wisely, you could wonder why tracting is even done at all. It's simple. There are some people that you won't get any other way, and they are just as important as the likely candidates.
Also, most people aren't ready the first time you ask. It takes multiple contacts with the Church to plant that seed. Tracting can do that.
"Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the Lord, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks." Jeremiah 16:16
Sometimes you can draw a big net and get a huge haul, but more often it is patiently hunting and searching, and believing that it has value.
As a full-time missionary, that's all you do. You want to teach and baptize, but you also contact and search and do the things that people with career and family responsibilities can't do. In the end, it should only be a small part of a lifetime of love and service, but it is a special and amazing part while it lasts, and you just need to go for it while you have the chance.
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