Sunday, March 24, 2024

Making Sundays more meaningful: Goals

Honestly, I am not the best person for tips on how to keep your Sabbaths more holy or to get more out of your church attendance. I don't rule out improvement and that I might have something to pass on later.

For now, there is one thing that I have been liking a lot.

I have a lot of things that I am working on, some of which are going to play out over months or years.

Recently I started breaking down some of the longer goals into shorter sections, and looking at indicators for knowing that I am staying on track.

That has included creating a weekly list of thing to accomplish, which has become a part of my Sunday journal session, including breaking down what things I should be working on each week.

That includes looking at the last week's goals, going over each line and what happened and what didn't. Then I write out goals for the new week.

I break those goals down further on a daily basis.

One thing I am working on is clearing out old e-mails, most of which require some reading. Generally I will pick a section and then plan on reading two per day, so a daily goal is reading those two messages.

I try to keep things realistic; my tendency is to be overly ambitious, but I have gotten better.

I still miscalculate sometimes, whether that is regarding what a task requires (like starting something on a web site and finding out you need to wait for a letter before you can finish) or just what my schedule will allow.

Last week my plans changed on the Monday. 

One thing came up unexpectedly, throwing off the start, but more badly than I would have thought possible. I realized that I needed to do that particular sequence on a different week. 

Ultimately, that deferral was a logical adjustment; not sticking to the plan did not make me a terrible person.

Being able to feel that way does show some personal growth, so that is a part of it. In addition, making these extended plans means that for all that I do not accomplish, there are still things that I am accomplishing, and the average setback will usually not affect the long-term goal.

Obviously it is important to keep perspective.

Part of that is also allowing myself to appreciate the things that did go as planned, and sometimes even better.

There can be this weird taboo against ever appreciating or liking yourself because of pride, but that's a misunderstanding. Pride is when you think your good qualities and accomplishments make you better than other people. 

Constantly berating yourself is not humility.

If I were doing this too ambitiously and failing a lot, or if I were not allowing myself to adjust as a reasonable thing, this could be very damaging.

As it is, it has been affirming. I am accomplishing things I want to do and seeing my progress, and I feel good about it.

Sunday, March 17, 2024

The Most Important Part

That's a dangerous title; when you have so many things that are important it is probably not useful to try and rank them.

For the purposes of this series of posts, though, there is a point, in that you have to feel it.

I feel like I have mostly completed going over where the gospel is logical and it is good. I had thought about spending some time on the good things about various commandments, and I still might, but there is still a point where the logic does not work if the feelings do not engage.

I am reading quite a bit about grief now. It is a common that painful things at least temporarily damage faith: God should not have let this happen!

These posts went over that too.

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2024/02/agency.html

There can be good reasons to not go to church, and I do not intend to judge any of them. There can especially be specific environments where attending wounds the soul. It would be placing an unfair burden on the wounded to fix what is wrong there.

That's not what I am talking about.

This is again something that happens very naturally but is wrong.

Sometimes we don't seem to know what is good about righteous living, so we concentrate on fear of wickedness. 

(This is why I was thinking of extolling some of the commandments.)

In a case like this, it may be hard to feel the presence of God, or His love or approbation or any of the things that keep one going.

Fear does not tend to help you feel the Spirit.

I am going to refer to a book that I did not think was very good: Pia Mellody's Facing Codependence. I don't think it was actually about codependence, which was probably it's biggest weakness.

I read it, though, because someone I knew mentioned something she had learned from it: when a parent does not allow a child to have imperfections, it impedes their building a relationship with God.

We have to approach God in imperfection -- it's the way we exist -- and Earthly parental patterns can easily overlay our Heavenly ones.

Honestly, I am not sure exactly how I -- with my father as he is -- was able to build a good relationship with my Heavenly Father. It's kind of amazing.

I can only explain it in that He does reach out for us, and we can reach back.

So even if you have no desire to go to church, I hope you do desire a personal relationship with God. That relationship needs to be developed and preserved and obtained.

I know its value.

I know it is possible.

Individual paths may vary, but it can start with a desire, and with a question.

Related posts:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2024/02/just-talking.html 

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2024/03/changing-things-up-scripture-study.html

Sunday, March 10, 2024

Ordinances for everyone

I have written a little about choosing already, but a different aspect.

That post was about choosing between domination and salvation, or recognizing the type of plan that we are given, and therefore how we have to live it.

For this post, it is more about committing to that choice, which we do via ordinances.

First, let me tell you about my own baptism. 

I was eight years old, and in many ways the strongest memories for me art the family friends from our previous ward coming over to support me, and the excitement about that. 

I do not remember much about feeling any change when it happened, but I do remember thinking that I would be totally clean so I would need to be very careful not to sin after that, and stay clean. 

I didn't last very long. I have never been a huge sinner (though recognizing the importance of any of our errors is very important) so I don't really remember what I did specifically, but it was probably squabbling with one of my sisters, or maybe not doing something one of my parents told me to do. Without remembering the specifics, I remember the lesson that good intentions don't always work out.

The fun part is, this puts my eight year old self on a similar level of spiritual maturity with Constantine the Great, whom tradition says waited until his deathbed for baptism, so that he would be in the least danger of polluting his soul again.

The better lesson from my story is just to accept that we will need repentance, and that should lead to gratitude for the plan and the atonement and Jesus Christ.

Maybe learning that makes it easier to understand other lessons there.

The decision to delay an ordinance in that way is based on fear, making it not work well as a sign of faith.  

I suspect that leaving that safety in place also affects how well you go about doing good. I mean, it's not counting yet, right? You are going to start counting later... that seems like it would really put a damper on things.

This is where we circle around to the where I started, about how beautiful it is that we do work for the dead:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2024/01/with-all-my-heart.html

The steps in the plan have their purposes and they matter, but the lack of availability of parts of the plan is not a permanent obstacle.

Everyone is capable of rising to the highest they can, but it does take choice.

There are many things that are hard about it, but it is also beautiful.

It also works, no matter how badly we children of God try to muck it up, which gets us back more to the things that I am normally writing about.

Regardless, God is good. 

I know that, and I will try and make my life show that, despite my many imperfections and how annoying so many people can be.

I will carry grace for you and for myself.

Sunday, March 3, 2024

Changing things up: scripture study

I was thinking it's time for another "tip" post.

That is mainly because I was thinking about some of the different things I have done for scripture study over the years, as well as how they have come about.

My scripture study started when I was about 8 or 10. I happened to look up from drawing on the program during sacrament meeting, and the speaker said you should read the scriptures every day.

That made an impression.

There were gaps, but I did eventually make it all the way through the four standard works. I think I was about 13 when I got there. I would miss nights and then plan on reading more the next day, but eventually a habit was formed. I did not get a lot out of it that first time through, but I did get some things.

At one point I asked a bishopric member for books he recommended, leading me to read A Marvelous Work and a Wonder, Jesus the Christ, and The Miracle of Forgiveness. I did go back to reading the standard works. 

I got more out of it the second time, but there was still a lot that didn't sink in. Sometimes my attention wandered or I was bored, and it was questionable whether any of the words sunk in. However, I kept going, and different things made impressions here and there.

At times I have tried different things. When I was preparing to go on a mission, I read the Book of Mormon in every language I had studied at that point: French, Spanish, and Italian. I thought I might end up using one of those languages on my mission.

Laotian anyone?

I have taken Institute classes. I have read with my family.

Many of the scriptures that are important to me were first noticed because someone else was sharing it, and what it meant to them. Sometimes someone else's context provides extra resonance.

Currently, I am reading through conference talks. 

It was something I had wanted to do, but it seemed like too big an undertaking. Then it wasn't, though there was still a false start. 

I don't think it was so much that I procrastinated as that I first had the idea before it fit into my life.

It started out kind of awkwardly, and then got into a rhythm. Then I started remembering these really great Ensign articles about different parts of the Old Testament and the Book of Mormon. So now I am also reading Ensign articles that go along with the topic at hand. This month, that means looking through the March Ensigns for 1992, 1996, and 2000.

(I am keeping up with the regular reading in Come Follow Me as well.) 

I have these Institute manuals that I have tried to bring in before, but then it didn't work out. I think after I finish the conference talks, then it will be time for them. Maybe.

I'm not necessarily recommending any of these for any one person, but there are three things that I will say for anyone.

  1. The knowledge we gain from reading the scriptures is important. Prayer is how we open communication with God but the scriptures facilitate that communication.
  2. I believe that we can get guidance on what will help us and what we need specifically.
  3. I know that gaining greater understanding takes time and persistence. That time that you put in is a worthwhile investment.

Related posts:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2009/01/december-2007-scriptural-literacy.html

Sunday, February 25, 2024

Week off

I was traveling this weekend. I thought I could still post, but for a good post it's better to take this week off.

Wishing you well.

Sunday, February 18, 2024

Endurance

I am very sad and angry today.

I am going to write about that Tuesday, on the main blog. It does still influence my thoughts today.

What I have been writing previously relates to our having a loving Father in Heaven, and that the more we know about the revealed plan of salvation, then the love and the logic unfolds. 

That includes the existence of suffering and people being terrible, but what I must not neglect to mention is that it hurts. 

The pain is real.

Going through it is hard.

That is the pain of living, and the pain of living as others die.

Does having perspective on that make it easier?

Ultimately, in some ways it does, but it still hurts a lot.

That pain can make you more compassionate, or it can make you resentful and cruel.

That may not feel like a choice, but it is and it's a choice that is vitally important.

Justice and mercy both get satisfied, and healing happens. Eventually.

Hold on to love.

 

 

Sunday, February 11, 2024

Agency

So often when I find people who don't believe in God and are angry at the very idea of God, it is because of the suffering that is allowed. In other words ...

Why do bad things happen to good people?

It is easy to look around and wonder when there is so much that is clearly wrong, and so based in cruelty.

Obviously, that happens through the choices people make.

Previously, when I have thought about that, I have thought about how I ultimately do value my ability to choose, and would not give that up easily. In addition, I know that I have learned and grown from making these choices. While it would have been hard to have said at the start of any trial, Yes, I want to go through this, I usually can see the value in retrospect.

Recently I have been thinking about another aspect of that, with Abraham being asked to sacrifice Isaac.

It seems like such a cruel request, and something that under other circumstances would be seen as sinful. 

I believe that both Abraham and Isaac learned and grew from that, and they were willing to submit to it. 

I suspect that part of what they learned was a greater understanding of the Atonement, and the roles of the Father and the Son in that Atonement, along with its saving power as there was a substitute provided for Isaac.

It seems likely that for where they were already at in their spiritual journey, that's what was needed for their next step toward completeness.

Yet still, it seems cruel and makes a lot of people uncomfortable.

So, being here with all of us running around making choices, rather than having every single trial custom-made for us by God, turns out to be pretty effective. With understanding of the plan we also don't have to feel like God is picking on us.

We can get closer to God, asking for support and understanding. We can feel our own healing through the Atonement, and we can have assurance that all will be healed in time, for us and for others.

All of those are remarkable things. I am grateful for that knowledge and learning. I am wiser and my heart is more tender.

I'm not saying it is easier, and I am not saying I am never angry. This is the other thing that's important with that.

First of all, we should do anything we can to help and not harm. This can involve giving time and money, speaking comforting words and writing petitions and it may even include demonstrating or stepping into a conflict at personal risk. Knowing the best thing isn't always easy, but we care, we believe in doing what's right, and we believe in helping.

Ways we might get this wrong include assuming that everyone suffering brought it upon themselves. That is the common Republican failing. 

The common Democrat failing is deferring to power too much, and going too slowly. 

The common Progressive failing is getting mad at the Democrats -- apparently believing that all of the delay is choice, as opposed to some things actually not being within their power -- and then being spiteful and dishonest. It includes making new problems for other people instead of helping the original people.

I mean, there are a lot of ways of being wrong. As we get closer to an election, I am sure I will spend more time on those.

Still, the overall point is that we all have agency, and that is what we need, even though there are things that are hard about it.

Our successful navigation of that will require prayer and humility. It will leave us kinder and more loving, with more grace for others and ourselves.

If your primary feelings are contempt for others -- for almost everyone, in fact -- you are probably not where you need to be, but I hope that you get there. 

I hope that we get there together.