Responding in difficult times

I really wanted to get back to the Cascadia Megaquake. I think next week I will, but last week it felt important to write what I did.

I mention that for two reasons. One is that I seem to have a few more things to say this week, but also I learned of the terrorism attacks in Paris when I was close to posting a music review.

When things like that happen, it always feels like the other things that I put out there are trivial. Right now my songs of the day are Muppet songs, and the band I reviewed Thursday wasn't that good. So sometimes there is this feeling like I shouldn't do it, and then I pretty much always do it anyway.

That may be partly just my personality - kind of bull-headed, yes, but also I get focused on tasks and then I need to complete them. However that came about, I have decided it's important to post those things anyway, because in these times if we waited for there to be no tragedies then we would never do anything at all. We've gotten to where there are a lot of things that don't even register. There are a lot of bombings and shootings we don't even notice anymore, because they are so common.

A world like that is cause for concern, and for action. If I were going to post something that would contribute to the ugliness I should stop myself, but I should have done that before the tragedy happened to. My usual pursuits are spreading knowledge, sharing things that I think are cool, and turning a spotlight on bands (some of which aren't great but a lot of them are) because I believe art is important, and individuals are important, and that giving people a chance is important. So that's what I do and I can live with that.

And often if I take several weeks to get to a current event, that may be the amount of time it takes me to feel like I have a handle on it. When my feelings tell me there is an immediate need, then I follow that.

Those things are more obvious in my main blog, because it has a wider range. This blog and the travel blog are more focused, but even in the travel blog I once found that I could not write about the aquarium until I watched and wrote about Blackfish.

I wanted to clarify that, but also I have some things to say about what I don't say.

It occurred to me after last week that it is possible to read a lot of my posts and not know what my actual opinion is on some hot issues.

That is pretty deliberate. Picking a side will often alienate people who could benefit from reading it, but also, thinking there are two diametrically opposed sides is often a gross oversimplification. Even if you could draw a fairly clear line roughly in the middle, there would be nuances and gradations on either side, and if I'm writing about it there is probably already too much division.

Also, I am often still learning, and I see new aspects later that I hadn't realized, but because my focus was on things to think about, and to remember while thinking about, instead of telling people what to think, the post still holds up. It would be pretty presumptuous for me to tell people what to think, but if I can give some guidance on thinking better, that is so what I am all about.

This leads to something I didn't write about last week, but I do think I need to address. For a lot of people the new handbook guidelines seemed to lead to them thinking about whether it was time to leave the church.

That is a question that puts me on guard, because I have seen many people who said they only wanted some time off from church, and they changed in ways that they never expected, losing something precious. It is easy to underestimate the cost.

However, I am also always learning. I have a friend who was in a really toxic ward who turned against her. They were clearly wrong, and she did not have the energy to fight it, so she has been taking time off from church, and I can't fault her. Someone fighting it could have been a good thing, but that doesn't mean it was her responsibility.

The point of that is that there can be a lot of legitimate decisions, and I can't judge that or tell you what to do. I can say that it is better to be making decision by attempting to do what is right, and praying about it, than seeking vengeance. I could say that, but my thought is that if I had a toxic ward trying to punish me, I would fight it until they were all the ones needing a rest. That sounds pretty vengeful. Again, that doesn't mean that fighting it would be wrong, but there might be good and not so good ways of doing it, and some mindsets are better than others.

So if some people feel a need to take a break, or write a letter to the First Presidency, or wear a rainbow tie to church, or have prayed about it and reconciled themselves, all of those things can be okay. Life can be tricky. It's because of all the flawed people, but you're one of them. Welcome!

There is one thing I am completely comfortable in judging though, and so I'll finish with that.

Since the news of the handbook changes came out, I have been hearing stories of abuse. This includes an anonymous note on a car telling someone that since they were apostate, and their presence was bringing everyone else down, that this was a good time for them to stop coming, and another person goading the children of a lesbian mother, tearing her down to them.

The church leadership may not have handled their situation as well as they could have, but I do believe their purposes were to avoid conflicts, not to give fuel to persecution.

The Gospel is a good yardstick for measuring your own life; it is not intended to be a cudgel for beating everyone else. That is a sin.

If you are a bishop or stake president you will have times when you need to counsel with people about their behavior, and there can be some judgement there, but it should be done with enough love and desire for the welfare of the person that the judgement is not the most noticeable part.

If you're not in that position, you do not get to judge, you do not get to make anonymous suggestions, and you do not get to harass. Then you have the greater sin. If those things sound at all attractive to you, read D&C section 121 again and see if you can figure out what your motivations are.