Preparing to be a good sport

Well, it starts with being a good loser, but I may expand a little. It all started with Jeopardy! Kids Week. Sometimes I skip it, or fast forward, because the questions are too easy, but there were some good moments here.

There was an absolutely adorable boy, Josiah, who seemed like a younger version of my friend Carlos, winning his day. There was one fast and knowledgeable kid, Skyler, who with aggressive wagering on Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy who scored the third highest single day winnings with $66,000. That's coming in between Ken Jennings' top two scores, and he is a kid. That is amazing.

Then there was this kid:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/04/newton-thomas-hurley-jeopardy-cheated_n_3705048.html

I guess I am angrier about it because I am protective of Jeopardy! I love that show. I was on it!

(I wrote about it extensively on the main blog, in about ten posts starting on November 28th, 2011: http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-lost-on-jeopardy-baby.html)

I get that losing is embarrassing - believe me! I also get that adults tend to be more supportive than kids. While it is cool just to make it onto Jeopardy!, especially into a tournament, he probably will get some teasing about the spelling error, though I would be hard-pressed to believe that he doesn't get teased on a regular basis.

Still, the fact that he inserted an extra letter into "emancipation" shows that he did not really know the word - he only kind of knew it. It is a more glaring error than the adult who called the author of Twilight Stephenie Meyers. If he had spelled it "emancipacion", they probably would have taken it, but there is no such word as "emanciptation".

Here's the thing, it did not affect the final outcome at all. There was no way he was going to catch up to Skyler's 66K, and it didn't move him from second to third. It did not affect his winnings. He won exactly the same dollar amount that he would have if he had answered correctly, $2000.

Also, I don't know how far ahead it was filmed, but I am sure it was filmed ahead, so he has had some time to think about it, and he is still saying he was cheated. There was no cheating! It's like that kid from Spellbound insisting that they pronounced "banns" with a "d" at the end, and that's why he got it wrong.

(http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2006/04/inspired-by-office-part-2.html)

So I was irritated, especially by people sending Jeopardy! and Alex Trebek hate, but also I was thinking about this recent advice column letter, where a grandmother was concerned because her grandson blamed a strikeout on the umpire.

Okay, children reacting immaturely to losing is nothing shocking, but they do need to grow out of it, and adults need to help them. I think in this case, the parents are making it worse, so perhaps they have not learned to be good sports. That's okay, I think I can provide some helpful hints.

First of all, no one is perfect. Whatever you do, sometimes someone else will be better than you. Even with things you do well, you will sometimes mess up, and with most things to get to where you do them well, you have to go through some time where you are not so good. You really need to make your peace with this.

I used to try very hard to conceal weaknesses. I got this from my father. Without having thought about it too much, I guess there was this feeling that if people saw a weakness or caught you in a mistake, they would hold it against you.

Well, some people might, but two things that other people don't really like are people who won't admit mistakes, and people who make them feel inferior. I am really open about my weaknesses now, and a lot of people really like that. Perhaps it helps them feel better about their own shortcomings. We do all have them. If you really need to be better than everyone else to be happy, good luck with that. That's just a lot of pressure with low returns.

Also, you miss out on good stuff that way. I have seen so many articles on this kid who feels cheated, and not much on Skyler's achievement, which is amazing. I didn't even think about it, until I read a comment in one forum, and I realized, that's right. Okay, he may seem a little overbearing, but he clearly has some self-confidence and a willingness to take risks, and maybe that's more worth paying attention too.

Maybe this isn't so much actual tips, like remembering to congratulate others when they beat you, but I am thinking more about the point of view. I can be happy for your success. I know my individual errors or failures don't make me a failure as a person - not as long as I am still trying. My behavior comes from that.

So, if you suspect you are being a jerk (possibly because someone says you are one), it might be worth spending some time thinking about what's important, and letting that lead you to chucking your ego.

The more you know!