Avoiding shower clogs

I am doing another light one today, and then it feels like I will be starting another series that will go a bit deeper.

This is also one that will probably not apply to everyone, but I live with my mother and two sisters in a family where thick hair seems to be a genetic trait. On a slightly less than annual basis (maybe every 10 or 11 months), we would get clogs in the shower.

Here are some things I have learned about that. It is not only hair. Soap and skin flakes (the things you wash off of you) can also become a part of that clog. I have thought about switching to liquid soap, but we still have the hair and skin.

Commercial clog products don't seem to help. Most plumbers have recommended against them anyway because of the chemical nastiness. That could be some self-interest, because if there were more effective ways of solving the issue yourself, they might get less business, but sometimes they have made other recommendations.

The big one that we tried was periodically pouring hot water down the drain. If we had remembered to be more regular about it, that might have worked, but the clogs would still eventually come. When you notice that the drain is slowing down and start to think about it, it is too late to start with the water.

(A slow drain is an excellent time to call the plumber, rather than waiting until it stops draining completely on a Sunday morning when everyone needs to shower for church, because that's when it happens!)

I also bought a snake at one point, impressed with the concept. However, when you are snaking it down by hand, it may not bend in the direction you want it to go. Plumbers have a mechanized tool (I believe it is called a drop head) that they can force in the direction of the clog. This is necessary, but it also adds $25 to the call, depending on whom you use.

Ultimately, what has saved us is this little guy:

The standard drain that came with the enclosure let too much through. The other one we tried - a rubber model - did stop some hair but it also stopped water so we kept kicking it aside. This fine mesh, which cost me $3.99 at the local Fred Meyer, has saves us many $160 plumber calls.

It has not been only one mesh, so lets talk about maintenance. Hair does collect, which you need to clean out every so often. That is not a problem. However, soap and skin do gradually build up in the mesh where it doesn't drain as well and gets kind of gross to look at. This one has also at one point apparently been kicked up and stepped on, though we still used it for a while after that. Regardless, every now and then you will need to replace them. I haven't tracked it, but one might last for about six months. (Still, $8 versus $160 is still very much in my favor.)

Some hair does still get underneath, where it will often hang around for a while. Sometimes it is good to lift up the strainer and check. It is dark down there, so I have taken to using a flashlight. Then I can probably sweep out anything I need to with a Q-tip.

On deciding that was a good idea, I was trying to think about a regular interval where I would remember easily. I ended up using weekly garbage collection, because that was easy to remember. It is also more frequent than is necessary, but the goal is not so much to catch the big hairballs building up, but to prevent big hairballs from building up. It works, and if I end up forgetting on some weeks it tends not to matter.

So this may not apply to you, but it saves us time and hassle. If it does help you, you are most welcome.

The case against normalizing Donald Trump

Going back to one member resigning from the choir because of their agreeing to sing at the inauguration, there have been many arguments against her, including that this is not about Trump and just the normal thing to do. Because I had mentioned her story in relation to decision making and counting the cost, I want to address that from two different directions that will blend pretty well.

First of all, when you have to make a decision, weighing the cost can mean looking at things you know and things you can only speculate on. Some people suggested that the choir singing could cause Trump to feel the Spirit and then it would be a good thing. My initial reaction was "Yeah, right," but there is some cynicism in that. Stepping back and considering it as a possibility - because that would be a good thing - I still have to conclude that based on his temperament it is unlikely, and based on his ego he is more likely to take it as a validation.

The second part of this blog is going to be about why validating him is bad, but first we are looking at a small chance of doing good and a much larger chance of doing some harm. If it would be a great good and a relatively small harm, those odds might not be as strong of an argument against it, but another factor is the emotional cost. For the choir member in question, she could not feel comfortable with the message it was sending, and how she felt about it.

Factoring in that, she made the only reasonable decision for herself. Obviously other choir members do not feel the same way. That may not be because of more positive feelings for Trump; it could also be a stronger sense of tradition or a stronger need for conformity. Individual results vary, but if you are at least looking at potential likely results and personal cost, weighing the good and bad, you should be making decisions you can live with. Praying and listening for guidance is an important part of that.

Now let's get on to why the choir should not have accepted the invitation. It's lengthy, but I want to stress this is not simply about disagreements on policy, but ways in which this is not normal and should not be treated as normal.

Many have argued that it is a tradition, pointing out all of the other inaugurations they have sung at. What you quickly notice with that list is that they have only sung for Republican inaugurations. I don't know how it is happening  - maybe Orrin Hatch is suggesting the choir every time a Republican inaugural committee is meeting - but that alone sends a troubling message for a church that constantly reminds us that we don't endorse any candidates or parties. It gives an appearance of bias.

Appearances can be important. One problem with Donald Trump's candidacy was that he was constantly rewarded for not even attempting to keep up with appearances. Previously it was not uncommon for racism to be a strong undercurrent for conservative candidates, but they at least masked it by using coded language.

https://www.thenation.com/article/exclusive-lee-atwaters-infamous-1981-interview-southern-strategy/

That seemed bad enough, enforcing negative stereotypes and structural racism, but now we have seen that when you run as openly racist, you bring white supremacist groups into the mainstream. People become more comfortable committing hate crimes.

http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/10/us/post-election-hate-crimes-and-fears-trnd/

For a church that has rarely done a good job of addressing racism in its own past, that considers the love of Christ to be the most important attribute, that has been persecuted on account of their religion, and that has a larger presence internationally than nationally, there are many reasons to avoid any perceived endorsement of the president-elect's Islamophobic, anti-Mexican, racist, sexist speech.

But let's say you're okay with the racism; that is not the only way in which Trump's refusal to abide by norms and protocols has been rewarded, and it is not the only way in which his blatant disregard manifests the weaknesses of the system. This may be most clear in his refusal to release his tax returns, which continues now because he believes his victory means it is unnecessary.  The returns could have shown us some important things.

It seems likely that he has not been a successful businessman, losing a great deal of money despite frequently shorting those who work for him. For those who have considered his business acumen to be one of his chief selling points, that could have been important information.

Without full disclosure about his businesses, and  unwillingness to fully divest, the tax returns could have at least provided some sense of the scale of his conflicts of interest. Having already - while only being the president-elect - used the office to pave the way for business deals, and having already damaged the stock of companies (like Boeing) by reckless statements, this matters.

http://shareblue.com/trumps-lawyer-makes-devastating-case-against-trumps-conflicts-of-interest/

Full financial disclosure could also have shown that he may be in debt to some unsavory parties. His donations to a "museum" set up at a mobster's former headquarters (with other mob ties being less former) and his casino losses kind of smell like money laundering, not to mention his possible indebtedness to Russia.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-boasts-of-his-philanthropy-but-his-giving-falls-short-of-his-words/2016/10/29/b3c03106-9ac7-11e6-a0ed-ab0774c1eaa5_story.html?

Russia becomes a special case in itself, because having a foreign power interfere in an election is not desirable, and it casts suspicion on Trump's constant deference to Putin, as well as his working so quickly to already tick off China. (Again, before even taking office.) A president with Trump's temperament alone might be a concern for war with Russia, but a president in Putin's pocket - and Putin in the Crimea - makes me worry for Eastern Europe.

http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/31/politics/donald-trump-russia-ukraine-crimea-putin/

There is an issue with appearances in Trump encouraging Russia to hack Clinton during the campaign, and that should be investigated, but you could still make a case that Trump was not responsible, he merely showed bad judgment in a joke he made. If evidence comes to light of participation, then what?

Normally the remedy would be impeachment, but there are serious concerns about whether that would happen. Trump's pick of Elaine Chao - wife of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell - for his cabinet looks like a way of exerting undue influence. Again, people who worry about propriety might not do that.

It also seems completely unnecessary. The congressional response to Trump's election has included attempts to weaken ethics oversight, prevent filming of proceedings so they can work in darkness, and (making the working in darkness part really literal) a late-night session confirming that the Affordable Care Act will be eliminated and its important features will not be preserved. The Legislative Branch does not appear interested in acting as a check on the Executive Branch.

When you consider that many of those who did not vote in this election did not because of changes in their ability to vote based on the gutting of the Voting Rights Act, then it appears that the Supreme Court may not be much of a check either.

When you add in that this is a president who has threatened press, and dissenting speech, and reproductive freedom, who wants his own private security other than the secret service, who is letting family members into positions of power, who took a victory tour instead of working on his transition, and who comes with too many trappings of fascism to count, this is not normal. This is the constitution hanging by a thread. My reading of Revelation may tell me that there has to be a Beast at some point, but that is not a motivation to vote for him.

No, we should not be celebrating this. We should not be normalizing this.

I had been planning this post before reading this, but my thoughts are not unique:

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/this-is-why-you-dont-kiss-the-ring-1791079856

ETA - Just as I posted this, an article comes up indicating that if pressure from callers ruined one attempt to weaken ethics, they will just keep at it: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/01/15/trump-aide-reince-priebus-to-ethics-chief-be-careful/

When our furnace went out

There may be some helpful tips in here relating to emergency preparedness and provident living, but I am also doing it to get out some frustrations and to be a little bit lighter. Some of these posts have been pretty heavy, and there are going to be more like that.

We have had two cold snaps recently. The first one was not that bad, but we started to notice that it almost seemed like the furnace wasn't working. We could hear it coming on, and sometimes we would feel warm air, but often we did not feel warm air blowing and the temperature in the house kept being below where it should.

I did try restarting the furnace, and the procedure went fine but it didn't change anything. I believed it was a combination of three factors. The outside temperature kept dropping, so it seemed reasonable that it would also lower the inside temperature, and the furnace would keep trying to play catch-up. Some neighbors were running into a similar issue, so it sounded probable.

In addition, we did not have a great installer when we last replaced the doors and windows, and you can sometimes see daylight through the cracks in the door when it is closed. That would surely cause some issues with heating efficiency. Finally, I thought the heating efficiency issues might also indicate we were overdue for a duct cleaning. 

The first cold snap wasn't as bad. It didn't get as cold and we often leave the thermostat around 64 or 66 degrees anyway, so if it stays around 62 you can believe it is just efficiency issues. This last snap disabused us of that notion. It got so cold.

We had scheduled the duct cleaning already, so we only had one or maybe two really cold days before, but it was around 50. That went down while they cleaned the ducts, because that required turning off the heater (which didn't make a huge difference; more on that later) and also leaving the door open for the hose to run out. We got down to 44.

I knew that with a $59 deal for a full, no-limit-on-the-number-of-vents cleaning, there were going to be attempts to up-sell. I can resist that sometimes, but we were cold and desperate and it had been a while since we had done it. I agreed to upgrade from the basic cleaning to the full cleaning (which is about a $600 difference).

I am sure we needed that full cleaning, and I should still install that weather stripping I bought for the doors, but that was not the problem. Our furnace was shutting itself off after a minute. The duct cleaner could see that, and he showed me that, but he couldn't diagnose it or fix it. He thought it was probably a fairly simple electrical issue, but we still weren't going to have heat.

If we upgraded to the VIP contract, they could send in a repair man free. That was $1200 but then that day's cleaning and repair were included, plus annual cleanings for five years. That is probably worth it, and we were cold and desperate. Okay. The repairman was supposed to call by 2 PM. (It was about 11.)

Sam told me to call him if we did not hear by 2. We didn't. I called Sam and he got on the phone; then Jesse called. It would be between 3 and 5. We had made it that far, we could handle a few more hours.

At 5 I called Jesse again. They were running behind - not surprising during a cold snap. Everyone is working their furnaces harder, and that can send things into breakdowns. Okay, we can wait.

At 6 Jesse called and said they could not make it. I expressed my concern about this, and I got a bunch of excuses. One of the big ones was that they wouldn't be able to get parts that night anyway now that the stores were closed. My thing was that he said they would make it that day right up until the point that we weren't going to be able to get anyone else. I called Sam again.

That led to a long conversation with his manager, who defended Jesse a lot, though I disagreed. He said we could buy a couple of space heaters and send the receipt, and he would deduct that from our bill to help get us through the night. We weren't going to be able to get anyone before 11 the next day.

I was ready to break down. I was still fairly happy with the duct cleaning company, but I wanted to murder Jesse. If nothing else I was going to leave scathing feedback - a goal solidified when I searched on the phone number to identify the company and found they were called All Hours Heating and Cooling. Ha!

A friend brought over three space heaters, but we blew two fuses in the process of setting them up. Apparently one circuit can't handle more than one heater. That's okay; I would not want to use a non-electric one. That got us back up from 44 to about 47 by bedtime.

We had other people offer us heaters too, and that would have been more than we could use, but it is nice that people care and are willing to help.

The next day it was Mike who came, which was good because I would have had a hard time being civil to Jesse. However, he came at 9:15 without calling first. I was in bed trying to stay warm. I pulled on clothes really quickly, but he was getting back into his van by the time I got to the door. Good thing I didn't take time to brush my hair (or teeth). Really, why would I have expected accurate scheduling or good communication at that point?

He started his thing, and we got to the root of the problem. Our highly efficient, good furnace has some safety features, including an emergency shutoff in case of flooding. There was some debris in the tray that allowed a condensation buildup that was triggering the water detection sensor. Banging on the furnace might have knocked it loose (so that's why amateur mechanics bang on things!) but cleaning out the tray should work, which he did, and now we have heat again. How about that? He didn't even need to go to the part store!

Obviously this whole thing underscores the importance of regular maintenance, because things do need cleaning, and having the air conditioner serviced (which we did), may not be the same as having the furnace serviced (even though they're connected). So, that's something to keep in mind.

Mainly I just found myself wishing that I knew how to fix everything myself so I would never have to deal with people again because I hate them so much! But that's not really true. I really just hate Jesse.

Counting the cost

Luke 14

28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?
29 Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,
30 Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.
31 Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?
32 Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.

I have been thinking about these verses in relation to some other choices that have been coming up. They do relate, but as I tried to write the post that I thought I was writing, I was diverted.

Jesus is talking about the price of discipleship here, knowing that it is heavy. Maybe if I hadn't written certain recent posts, I could put that aside, but there is a question, and it is a question members may be feeling. Does my discipleship require my church membership?

I know many people who have stopped going to church, and I don't think they considered the question. Sometimes they just weren't that interested in being a disciple, but more frequently they thought they could take a break and not lose anything. Some people just got mad.

There are more people asking themselves the question now, or other questions. Recently a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Janet Chamberlin, resigned from the choir because of their decision to sing for Trump. She has inspired many, but also angered many, and she is probably going to find many negative elements in the attention it has drawn. (I almost omitted her name because I do not want to draw anything bad to her, but her name is out there and I support her, so giving her credit seems best.)

Going back to Luke, it is interesting then that the Savior gives examples where it is perfectly valid to decide against what is being considered. A tower may be a good thing, but if you can't finish it then it is better not to start it.


If you are thinking about committing to Christ, and your ability to keep that commitment, and you realize you cannot, that is worth continuing to think about.

If you are not sure you believe, you can dig deeper and look for confirmation.

If you have stumbling blocks, you can identify and work on those.

Discipleship is a lot of work. You might be scared to say "no" to it, but a "yes" that you can't back up can be very harmful.

I like the idea of thinking things through anyway, but in this question, we are talking about things on an eternal scale. Keeping that perspective is important. There are reasons why it can be worth temporary suffering to have eternal life.

And truly, that's not why I do it. My following Christ happens because nothing else feels right. There is a peace that comes with believing that there will be good results, but for the big decision, of following or not, there is really only one possible answer.

That does not invalidate the need to think about all of the smaller questions: what trips me up? what would help that? And when I am frustrated with the church, I need to think about what I get from church, and what I would lose by leaving it.

I have seen too many people take a break from attending church and then lose the fire they had inside. That would make deciding not to attend a very extreme decision. I don't see that happening. Honestly, even if you worry that the church is full of bigots and you don't want to be one of them, leaving might be what causes it to be nothing but bigots. That is a reason to stay.

If there comes a time when I feel like my integrity is being damaged by my church membership,  then I will need to think about how to keep my testimony. I will go in with eyes wide open. But because I know there is that danger, then I need to do everything in my power to keep this a good church.

Last week that meant signing a petition against the choir performing, and writing on the choir's page, and calling the public relations department and leaving a message there, and sharing that contact information. In a couple of weeks it might involved introducing other liberal members to each other so they can feel fellowship with each other. We feel our way along. Today it meant changing the blog post.

And I do end up doing a lot of it on instinct and feelings, but there is thinking, at every step. With it comes understanding, and confidence.

They can be very helpful.

A Christmas gift

I was touched by the response to last week's post. It is good for me to see that I am not the only one, but I believe it is also good for them.

My patriarchal blessing focuses on gifts I have. At the time I really wanted to know what was in store for me, and that not happening was probably for the best, but I have come to appreciate what is in there anyway.

One of the things mentioned is my ability with my language. It is mentioned in conjunction with how it will help me reach out to other people, to learn about them and share with them. When I was sixteen that mainly seemed to mean by ability to learn other languages, but it applies to my native language too. Words are my thing, and that is for me, but it is also for others.

Looking at these dark times, I see how important it is to be brave and also how important it is to be kind. My bravery frequently seems to manifest through saying things that can really offend people. That may be a kindness to the people with similar feelings, but there could easily be an unkind aspect to it, when sometimes it feels like there is a "you idiot!" hanging on the end of every sentence.

It can be a tricky balance, but the gift I am giving will be to try and always keep that balanced. I will try and leave both no doubt of my beliefs and policies and stands, but that I will also try and leave no doubt of my love.

In practice this means that I will spend as much time as someone needs explaining why something is racist as long as their attempt to understand is sincere. If they are baiting, I will be explaining the stupidity as well, but I hope without name-calling.

(And "idiot" can be seen as an ableist slur because it was an actual diagnosis that could get people locked away at a time when there was more prejudice than science involved, in the shockingly recent past.)

Sharing that I can't share

Here it is - the way in which I am the most religiously rebellious:

I am repelled by missionary work now.

This is uncomfortable for me. I served a full-time mission. There were hard times, but there were really good times too, and I knew what I was doing mattered.

It's not that I don't believe in the Gospel anymore. I do. It's not that I'm not going to church anymore. I am. But I try and think about bringing people to church or introducing them to the missionaries, and I can't.

It's not just the gay thing, though I could not blame anyone who had a problem with the policy there. We could be handling that a lot better, but at this point there are ways in which our policy is better than the attitudes of the members, and that is where we get to the real crux of the problem.

Once upon a time I felt like bringing someone into the church would be introducing them to a lot of wonderful, wise, spiritual people. I do not feel that way now.

I can point to a lot of individual people who I love, and I know they have their good points, but over the past few years we seem to have given up a lot of depth. We were probably always too insular, but that's gotten worse.

For myself, that meant first that Sunday school lessons became painful, then it became true for Relief Society as well. Now I don't pay much attention to talks, and being in Nursery is a relief because I don't have to listen to the lessons.

Before that, any time I made a comment or answered a question I felt like I was speaking a different language. Realistically, I am fairly different. I have never been married or had children, and I am politically liberal.


It is embarrassing that so many Mormons voted for Trump. If some aspects of our church history seem to support racism, it is your time to read the essays. I guess it's nice that some of them voted for Johnson or McMullin instead, but it's still embarrassing that they listen to so much Fox that they believe Hillary is a crook. It's embarrassing that they get so caught up in abortion that they think anyone who even believes that it should be legal - regardless of whether they would get one - is a bad person, and not living the Gospel. It is embarrassing the mental contortions they will do to know that they are right, and everyone else is wrong.

And going back to last week, it is embarrassing how much of that isn't even doctrine, but based on things they have absorbed from the world. Remember, that world is full of people who think all you need to do to be saved is accept Christ, but that members of The Church of Jesus Christ (of Latter-Day Saints) - who pray in his name and do everything in his name - we go straight to Hell. Seems like flawed thinking; are you sure you want to give into them so easily?

It should still be worth sharing. I get enlightenment from the scriptures, and I get edified in the temple, and prayer is an important part of my life, so there is still a lot that I get as an individual from attendance, and that should be open to anyone, but I've seen too many people come in with enthusiasm, get criticized for minor things, and leave. I've seen the "lost sheep" note next to too many names of people don't come and we have accepted that. I get that there's a limit to how pushy you should be, but maybe our ability to write them off that easily contributed to that first loss.

It shouldn't even be an issue. The scriptures are pretty clear about love and charity. If you love the people you see at church, that is a start, but it's a much bigger world out there, and you have to love those people too. There is not a scriptural basis for choosing ignorance, isolation, and prejudice.

So many people that I have come to know and love would not fit in well at a church meeting, and they are still valuable children of God. I want to believe that they would receive a warm welcome that would help them to see how valuable a testimony is. I would want them to feel that God values them reflected in the way they are treated by those trying to follow God.

I do not feel that now.

Disagreement and faith

A while ago some essays went up the LDS web site. They treated some of the more controversial - and more ignored - aspects of our church's history.

https://www.lds.org/topics/essays?lang=eng

I didn't pay a lot of attention, but I know some people really struggled with them, feeling their testimonies shaken. As people began to be upset about things in the handbook, that made it seem really helpful. If you can see things in the development of the church that bother you, but still love the blessings it has brought into your life, then that should provide a path to getting through new things that bother you.

As I was reviewing the Equal Rights Amendment, and finding a talk I hated from Boyd K Packer (whom I do not hate), that seemed like the right time to check out the Essays for myself. Then I could make the analogies and draw the lines between reconciling the things we are not sure about.

I found them really underwhelming.

Another friend who had read them said she has read much worse, so I didn't expect to be personally shaken. I still thought I would understand why other people were shaken, but it was all stuff that I already knew. Maybe it doesn't come up every Sunday, but my seminary teacher had mentioned it, or it was in a church history manual, or something.

So I thought the next logical post would be about reconciling yourself with the fact that Brigham Young could be a racist in a time when that was common, but still successfully get people to Utah and get temples built and have revelations. Maybe it makes sense that it doesn't need to be about that, because it kind of replicates when I was leading up to writing about women and the priesthood.

Instead, this is becoming more about how it is not healthy to have an uninformed testimony. If your comfort at church depends on never hearing anything hard, how long do you think you can keep that up?

Back to that other conversation, my friend said that she has been hearing the word "equal" more and more in regards to men and women. There was never an announced doctrinal shift, but it has felt like a slow change that people are accepting.

I don't object to that specific change, but there are much more harmful things that can slip in without examination. That is how you get a seventy hinting at how bad Halloween is without just coming out and saying it. That is getting infected by the world, which can happen when we are not paying attention.

(Even with that, there is nothing wrong with not being in to Halloween, but when you feel like you need to spread that to others, again, that seems like the world is getting to you.)

If you know even the most basic information about the church, you know that we believe that there were prophets who wrote scriptures in the new world as well as the old, that God and angels showed themselves to Joseph Smith, and that the Book of Mormon was translated by the power of God. We are in a cynical age and world, but we believe that. You can handle seeing the power of God working in a variety of ways.

If you have paid any attention to the scriptural accounts of Christ's mortal ministry (and many things prophets and teachers led by him have said), then you know that we believe in being kind and generous, not greedy and judgmental, even though we are living in a cold and materialistic world. You can handle seeing that some things are not charitable without losing your love. At least you need to be able to do so.

And as members of a church with an exclusively lay ministry where we all need to help, you should be able to handle imperfect servants of God. It is often frustrating, but I need forgiveness and guidance and correction all the time, and I am not going to begrudge anyone else their chances at that.

I have had other thoughts, and there are pertinent links below.

Next week I shall explore my most rebellious stance yet.


Related posts:

Multiple posts on following and believing prophets starting here: http://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2014/01/following-and-believing-in-prophets.html

Not infallible: http://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2015/11/not-infallible.html