Following and believing in prophets - as leaders change

This is probably going to take three or four parts, but I am going to start with a review of my relationship with various presidents of the Church.

The first one I remember is President Kimball, and I just instinctively loved him. I could not tell you a lot about the things that he taught - it was a very childlike love I suppose.

I do remember when I was a Beehive, my teacher saying that we should pay attention to the leaders, not just with what they taught, but getting to know them. She said some people were very concerned that President Benson was next in line, because he was so political, and that meant absolutely nothing to me.

This is perhaps where I should explain a little about my childhood. My parents joined the Church after they were married, and my father stopped going when I was nine. The rest of us kept going, though my two older siblings eventually stopped, but still, we did not have the pioneer heritage or the extended family, and then there was a desire at that time for there to not be a too much of a rift with Dad not going.

One way this played out is that conference weekends were considered time off, both stake and general. So I knew who the prophet was, and sometimes other names would sound familiar, but that was pretty much it.

(I read the scriptures a lot, so was generally considered pretty knowledgeable about church things, but not the current leaders.)

When I graduated high school and started to attend the singles ward, that started to change. I did start reading the Ensign more, and going to things, and I had a better idea, but where that really kicked into gear while I was on my mission.

One thing that happened before that is that when President Kimball died, I remembered being sad, but then "We Thank The O God For A Prophet" started playing in my head, and I remembered both that we'd had President Kimball, and that was not undone, but also that we still had a prophet and always would.

I was fine with President Benson, but I wasn't attached, and with his health problems it seemed like we did not hear from him much, even when I was attending General Conference. It was not a testimony issue - someone had suggested once that we did not get to hear from him much because we did not listen well enough, and that made sense - but there was just no connection.

That changed in the Missionary Training Center. We watched a video of him, and the love in his eyes made a strong impression on me. I knew I had loved President Kimball; now I knew President Benson loved me, and I loved him for that. Later one I borrowed a packet of his talks from someone, and got to know him on another level there.

The other thing about the MTC is that you have general authorities coming every week, and that was when some of the apostles started becoming real to me. I learned to love Elder Wirthlin when he came to the Modesto Stake Conference and I translated for him. I learned to love Elder Holland when he toured our mission and spoke to us while still a Seventy. And then I was watching and reading conference talks, so everyone became real. It just required some participation.

While in the mission field I remember expecting that President Hunter would die before President Benson, because he was so weak, and he couldn't have a very long presidency. Then he spoke in conference and he spoke with great power, and I knew I had been wrong. He could do whatever he needed to do. And then he did become President, and it was in fact a very short presidency, and yet a very powerful one. That was a huge lesson for me. What is supposed to happen happens, and it works, and it is based on wisdom that we do not have.

Both President Benson and President Hunter did what was needed, and filled the roles that they needed to, but it was still such a breath of fresh air to have President Hinckley so present, speaking and traveling everywhere. I loved him with all my heart, and eventually he died too.

I had liked President Monson's talks a lot when he was a counselor, at first, and then I found that while I liked his stories, he repeated them a lot, and then I started not liking them as much. I do not love him as much as I loved President Hinckley, and it does seem wrong to feel that way. All that being said, I still know he is the prophet. I trust him.

I see that having favorites is actually pretty common, and there can be bad things about it, but that is not necessary. All of my experience has shown me that this is guided. The men are called in the order they are called by a God who knows how long they will live, and what their strengths are, and what is going to happen to the Church and the people in it. If I have issues with an individual, it is my responsibility to come around, which I can do by prayer and the Spirit. It works, but there are things that make it work, and things that we can let get in our way. That's what I am going to try and cover over the next few weeks.