The curse of Befana

That title is somewhat humorous.

La Befana was the magical old woman who brought candy and toys to my mother when she was a child growing up in Italy in the 1940s. It happened on the night of January 5th, so the gifts were there when she woke up on Epiphany.

My mother put out carrots for her donkey, but a lot of stories have her riding a broom, and of course there are stories of Saint Nicholas having a donkey. Holiday traditions come by a nonlinear path and things get switched around.

As a point of interest, there is a lot more Santa Claus in Italy now. I think part of that might be because Giulio Androtti's government canceled Epiphany as a holiday in 1977 (along with some other feasts) as a way to perk up the economy; people were spending too much celebrating.

If it were George W. Bush, he would have added some feasts.

The ban lasted until 1985, but I think Christmas was not banned. That probably changed some things. I just learned about it, so now I want to ask my cousins what they remember.

I was looking her up because of an activity we have coming up, but also about her story. 

You can find it in The Legend of Old Befana by Tomie dePaola, but I prefer the telling in Baboushka and the Three Kings by Ruth Robbins. Obviously that is the Russian name.

Again, there are many places with a winter witch, with different names and questions about whether there are pagan roots or a Christian root or if it was Christianity overlaying on something pagan, and if it was originally more about the new year or something else. As it is, there is a generally accepted story, as adapted by various authors. The Robbins version won a Caldecott medal for its illustrations by Nicolas Sidjakov.

In the generally accepted version, the old woman was known for her housekeeping. One night, the Magi came, possibly for a place to rest or to ask directions. The important thing was that they asked her to accompany them to visit the new king, and she was too busy with her housework. This is why she is often depicted with a broom. 

She declined, then regretted it. She gathered together some things for the child and ran after the kings. Not finding them or the child, she wanders the world still, leaving gifts for other children.

I was thinking of it as a story about missing an opportunity to give and always regretting it. 

Of course, she ended up giving; what she missed was an opportunity to worship and commune with God. 

As I was thinking about it, I thought about how they were putting her into kind of a Martha position. 

Martha, sister of Mary and Lazarus, was a dedicated disciple who served God and testified of Christ's divinity even while grieving her brother's death, but she gets remembered largely for being too focused on housework.

Of course they would make that the story of even a magical holiday woman, but also of course if the house doesn't get decorated or the holiday dinner gets burned, it will be a woman that gets blamed.

Patriarchy is a part of many holiday traditions.

Regardless, it is true that there are opportunities that once missed cannot be recovered. 

It is true that there are many opportunities to give, but that is not a reason to take them for granted. While many things can be done by anyone, there may be things that can only be done or given by you.

There are also so many needs that there really aren't enough people trying to fill them.

So, you have to find your way to balance those realities and choose the better part.

If part of that is teaching people that the meal doesn't need to have eleven courses or that simplicity can also be beautiful... or even that cooking is a life skill that people of all genders should have, go for it!