Some people like having drop-offs and things being a part of their ministering. My sisters are big gift-givers and always finding cute things. That is part of how their personalities and abilities come through in their ministering.
I am not as much like that anyway, but I also have one woman I minister to who will always reciprocate if I give her something.
This does not escalate into ridiculous gift-giving and is not a huge deal, but I do think twice before giving her anything, because it puts an obligation on her. That is part of her being her.
Sometimes there is great compatibility, and those can often end up leading to lifelong friendships. That happening is one of my favorite things.
Some of us are also really different from each other. How those differences interact may not be a problem, or things can be awkward sometimes. This also happens with people not connected by ministering.
I had mentioned worrying about disillusioning some people who may not have identified some contacts as ministering, where maybe they were thinking "I thought she really loved me!"
Well, she does.
First of all, with one person I am thinking of, she is overflowing with love and caring, of course she loves you!
She also has some responsibility toward you. So, while in the course of one Sunday she may visit with many people, and she might follow up with some of them with phone calls or cards or maybe even food, there may be times when she feels a greater sense of responsibility to you.
She will not suddenly drop you when the route changes, though she might feel less pressure in some ways.
There are people who might drop you once you're no longer on their route. That doesn't have to be terrible.
First of all, if your new ministering sisters are on the ball, that aspect is still fine after the change.
If you have a healthy circle of friends and family and support, then that change in church responsibility should not be a big issue.
If you don't really have that circle, and had grown attached to your ministering sisters, and then the new ones are not really diligent, then that could be devastating, but it's through the combination of everything.
I was talking with one person sorting out some changes, and I remember saying "It's not a perfect system. It can't be. It's got people."
That is sadly true, but it often ends up being beautifully true as well.
As a ministering sister, maybe one good thing to do is know whether your sisters do have support, and also how far away. People who love and support you from the other side of the country are still important, but you need people nearby too.
If someone is not in a good place there, maybe part of your service will be helping them to meet other people, or to overcome some shyness or awkwardness.
One of the best things my sisters do is to feel comfortable with their weaknesses. It is possibly too comfortable, but for someone who is too aware of their imperfections, a self-righteous, self-satisfied person is not comforting.
And we all have weaknesses. That isn't going away anytime soon.
As someone being ministered too, it can require some assertiveness to express what you need and want, but perhaps your ministering sisters can be a safe place to practice.
Do you know what would be helpful for you? Have you thought about that, or are you too busy thinking about what other people need?
Would you love to have a long phone call or a visit? Or are texts better? Maybe your new ministering sisters will ask, and you will know. Or then something might change and your preferences change.
Life is also full of people, and those imperfections lead to many changes and differences.
In lieu of fighting them, it might be best to embrace them.
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