Giving decisions

I'm going to do something really unconventional here and speak in concrete terms about money.

There is a long tradition of not doing this. I have been a part of it. I remember teaching a Sunday school lesson on tithing, and the question came up about paying on the net or the gross, and I answered "It's ten percent of your increase," just like I had heard so many times before.

There is good reason for that. Letting people decide what is right for them is appropriate. I remember sometimes hearing some people say "Do you want net or gross blessings?"to be cute. It technically still leaves the decision to the listener, but it's also prejudicial, clearly implying that one way is superior.

Perhaps partly because of that, I have always calculated my tithing based on my gross income. I would reconsider at times, based on not getting the amount taxed. I would then think that I would have to pay tithing on any refunds, but also, I would decide that I do benefit from the taxes paid, so continue paying on the gross. And I usually do some kind of extra contribution when I get a refund anyway, it just isn't tithing. As much thought as went into it, it was still ultimately a feeling of what was right, and that was individual.

It is easy to feel like the thing that is right for you is right, period. Obviously, that must be what everyone does. This is never a safe assumption.

I have seen at least one person say that they pay on the net. It would probably be more if it was something people talked about more openly. Because we should not be trying to impose our will on others, that can be a good reason to not talk about these things, but also I think I am a better person, and have a better understanding, for knowing that at least one good person with sincere faith pays on the net.

I have often had people preach paying a generous fast offering, and never have they given specifics on generous. They just repeat "generous" like "ten percent of your increase".

I first remember thinking about this on my mission. Missionaries don't get a lot of money, but rent and utilities are paid, so that money only needs to cover groceries, toiletries, and so forth. I think we got around $100 a month back then (this was in '93/'94, Fresno), and I had been paying around $10, but I felt to double it. Sometimes things got tight, but it worked out.

I probably kept on doing that for the next ten years, but where I really remember thinking about it again was probably around 2000. I know the date it ended precisely (the reason for that will become clear later), but I can't remember exactly when it started.

I think it started with a double it, that probably went from $20 to $40, and as time went on, I kept feeling to increase it. $60. $80. It definitely got to $120, and I think topped out at $140, but I remember wondering how high it could go. Could I get to a point where I was donating more than I was living on? (I was probably making about $48000 a year then.)

Then in September 2008 I lost my job and the tech sector crashed before I could get a new one. Even by the time I was working full time again, I never got back to where I was financially.

In light of that, it would be hard not to wonder whether I shouldn't have been doing something else with my money, like building up savings or paying extra on the mortgage or something. I can tell you that I was getting help from the church for a while and any amount I had built up was blown through pretty fast. It felt like a lot of money to give at the time, but it wasn't really that much.

Instead, I was learning to listen, and I hope to be unselfish and to trust, even if those traits are still not perfect within me.

Now, back to the last week's concerns about charitable giving that inspired this detour.

I do not give to every panhandler I encounter. Frankly, I usually don't have enough to really give much. However, I am sometimes prompted to give, and I really try and listen to that and act on it quickly.

Sometimes they haven't asked. I remember seeing someone on the train who looked like he was asking other people, but after a couple of "no" answers he stopped. I was prompted to give to him. I have offered to people who didn't ask but it felt like they needed it. And sometimes they ask, and "yes" is right, and sometimes it's okay to say "I'm sorry, I can't."

I hope it is clear that the purpose of this post is not to tell anyone what is right for them, or to brag about how righteous and generous I am. I do think it can be helpful to get a greater insight into the thought process and decisions of other people sometimes, and then I usually go and make an emotional, intuitive decision. Or, I hope, that what happens is a guided, inspired decision.

There are a lot of different combinations out there. The right answer for me may not be the right answer for you. It would probably be weird if it were. It can get more complicated too; do you tithe on gift cards? (I haven't, but I suppose if I got a lot in them, I might.)

What I feel real confidence in is that there are answers available. We can know and we can listen and we can do a lot of good that way.We may be wrong about it even at the time. When I was continually increasing my fast offering, I now think that was more about what I needed to learn from it than the money that was needed by others. It probably still helped some others, and God is good at making blessings flow in multiple directions like that.

Think of how much the "Trying to be like Jesus" series kept coming back to his knowledge of people individually and making their healing or learning experiences unique to them. That still applies.

There are individual answers for you, with individual lessons and individual opportunities. There are also many individuals around you that He cares about just as much, and whom you can serve. Be ready, be willing, and listen.