After last week (on chastity versus virginity), I was planning on spending some time on consent and modesty-shaming, but I need to digress. This link should give some context for why:
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/mormontherapist/2015/07/compassion-called-for-please-while-reading-of-the-letter.html
Even though the there has been more of a focus on accepting LGBTQIA people lately, where we should have compassion and do not support discrimination, it feels like some members read them only looking for confirmation that it's wrong, and so they can continue to feel angry and judgmental. That would be missing a significant part of what is being said.
One good starting point is http://mormonsandgays.org/.
It says right there that the attraction is not a sin, but it is common to look down on people for it.
Actually, that's one of the first points that bugs me here. The focus in the scriptures is pretty consistently on how you are supposed to live, not about forcing others to live your beliefs. We are encouraged to share those beliefs, but knowing that others can only be converted by the Holy Ghost, and knowing that they will not be able to feel the Holy Ghost if we are carrying contention and anger with us, that right there should often be a reason to shut up. If you can't speak to them in love, shut up. Maybe consider listening.
The first thought that I would like you to keep in mind is what you think the "it" is that you think is wrong. There is a lot of misunderstanding. A very kind and wise and good man made a statement about not being unkind to people based on the lifestyle they choose because of their feelings about gender. Some people will object to the use of choice even for the actions, but there is another mix-up there in that sexuality and gender are separate issues. I use the LGBTQIA because it takes in more of the variations, but it has expanded before and could expand again. There are a lot of things that happen in human experience.
I'd like to mention two stories of trans people that I have heard recently. I know there is a lot of attention on Caitlin Jenner right now, because celebrity does that, but that is not the normal experience.
First of all, I'd like to share some statistics. One in twelve trans women is murdered by cis people. (Cis meaning that gender matches sex). For trans women of color, the murder rate goes up to one in eight.
That is staggering, and when you consider how many people will abuse in some way while stopping short of murder, that is a very hard life. That is probably why 40 percent of transgender people have attempted suicide.
Now to the stories. One was born a girl, but suffered horrific sexual abuse as a child. They now feel like they are neither male nor female. The other was also born a girl, and there were bad life circumstances, but part of the early life experiences included seeing that women had no power, and could be abused by anyone. He started identifying as male.
Not everyone's story is going to be like that; you should not assume abuse is involved. I mention those because it seems like working for a world where children are safe from abuse, and where girls feel like they can be strong and powerful, and boys feel like they can be artistic and sensitive, seems like it would be a much better goal, that would benefit everyone, rather than spending a lot of time worrying about whether people are forcing their gender and sexuality to conform to your definitions.
Perhaps this is where the listening could come in again. It would be really hard to feel like you were born in the wrong body, even if it didn't raise your odds for being mocked, beaten, and murdered. Listening to them, and hearing their humanity, is the list someone who is trying to follow Christ can do.
Here's the thing I have been thinking about most. I have a friend who works on a suicide hotline one night a week. Because many of my Twitter contacts are also suicidal, we talk about that sometimes, and the things we have learned.
Many of her contacts and mine are gay. They may feel like they need to hide their sexuality, which takes a toll, or they may be bullied if they are open, and sometimes they can be hiding it but still be bullied. The world can be really hard on them.
I was expressing frustration once with how parents sometimes can't accept their children because they need so much for the child to understand how wrong he or she is, and my friend told me "What I would say is they believe you. The message has been received. They know they're bad."
It chilled me. I knew exactly what she meant, but hearing it said that way, because she has heard their voices when they are right on the edge and reaching out, and they believe in their badness. They are convinced enough of their wrongness that suicide seems like the answer.
They need to know about their goodness too. They should never be reduced to whom they are attracted to!
I hope that there are no parents who really want that. If they do, that is a huge sin there; worse than whatever you are thinking. But for parents who just really want their kids to be straight, making the kid feel worthless is not going to do it.
If they can live, and feel loved, then they can have a chance to grow, and build their own relationship with God, and get their own inspiration on how to conduct their lives. That is what you should be working for. God does love them, and knows their value, and how to help them. Don't get in God's way by making sure that the only thing they can feel is self-loathing. There is no righteousness in that.
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