Mourning with those who mourn

I am running very late today, but also, I had to discard what I was writing, again, because the time does not seem to be right. Instead I want to share something simple that I have been thinking of.

Recently there was a discussion going on with someone who has struggled with depression, and she had found it very hard to get support for it at church, because there seems to be a feeling that we shouldn't be sad. We know that God has a plan for us, we are trying to do what's right, so shouldn't we be joyful?

In addition, in the regular blog I was writing about how some early experiences taught me that I should hide my feelings and vulnerabilities, but that led to me suppressing them, and that was not helpful either. There were some emotional wounds that cut deeper and injured more simply because I was trying to hide from them.

Of course we want people to be happy, and if we will do things to increase their happiness, at least refraining from being hurtful, that is good. If we instead focus on our discomfort, or try to cause guilt over the unhappiness, or invalidate the person's unhappiness, we are a part of the problem.

It seems worthwhile to examine these words relating to the baptismal covenant from Mosiah 18:

8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

 9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

We are asked to mourn with those who mourn. Yes, we can try and comfort them too, but sometimes they will be sad. We can take comfort in the sorrow not being permanent, but while it is there it is real, and it must be faced.

There is nothing contradictory about that.