Less stressed Christmas

I worry that some will find this post impractical. I admit that our family is non-traditional. The fact that we have no children in even the extended family is different and it gives us more flexibility. That being said, we have changed what we have done so much, and it has always been fine.

Our family consists of seven adults among three households. There was a time when everyone gave everyone a present. As adults who don't need a lot of things, it got to where it didn't feel very useful. We switched to drawing names, where everyone only bought for one person. After a few years of that, we switched to getting together for a dinner where everyone brought a wrapped ornament and we took turns picking or stealing. Later the ornaments were changed to gift cards, and sometimes we just get together giving nothing at all.

At the same time, part of the unhappiness with the gift-giving had to do specifically with one household, and it's the one we see less, so the rest of us have had some years where we have drawn names to give a stocking, or small gifts, and this year the five of us are each giving each other a small gift.

I know traditions are an important part of the holidays, and giving should be the key to the Christmas spirit, but I see too many people weighed down. When I do my toy drive shopping, it is a lot of fun because I am picking things that look cool, and only spending what I think I can afford. When parents are buying for their children and trying to make things perfect, it is fun when they feel like they have succeeded, but there can be a lot of stress getting to that point.

It's not that their love for their children is not a wonderful thing, and that is a more rewarding relationship than I have with the unseen recipients of the toy drive, but there are expectations in place where the giving becomes work, and there is a burden associated with the blessing.

What I am trying to suggest is that it is okay to re-examine, and change strategies. Traditions can bring comfort, but change can bring invigoration. So if one year you decide that the family gift is a trip away, or to take a trip to the toy store and give everyone a budget to pick their own, or to only make gifts - and every single one of those ideas is something that would sound great to some and horrible to others - go for it.

If you feel like you are enduring Christmas instead of enjoying it, that's not the fault of Christ. He does give us labors, but he also makes them bearable and sets us free. So there must be some solution, in accordance with his spirit, that will do that as well.

None of the changes we have made to our gift-giving have ever ruined Christmas. If ruining Christmas seems possible, that is the biggest indicator that a change is necessary.