Wisdom

One set of beliefs I did not write about with the Articles of Faith is what we call the "Word of Wisdom."

This comes from section 89 of the Doctrine & Covenants:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/89?lang=eng 

It is relatively short, but there is a lot in it. This still mainly gets remembered as what we don't do, which is that we don't drink alcohol, coffee, or tea or use tobacco products or recreational drugs.

I have always been grateful for this scripture. 

At first it was more that I have strong negative reactions to the smells of most of these things. Initially that was primarily tobacco, beer, and wine, but you can add to that now that I hate the smell of weed.

Without having strong feelings about coffee and tea smells -- or having really tried them -- having at times come across the mocha candy in the mixed box or having tried herbal teas (which a lot of people do take)... blech. I'll be just fine without them.

Later I became aware of some tendency toward addiction in myself and especially that the family members who have tried alcohol have not been great with it.  

I felt like I had been protected by following it and was grateful for that.

Later still I grew to appreciate the value of a clear head.

Yes, I have seen people acting really stupidly under the influence of alcohol (and weed). I know it doesn't happen with everyone and not every time, but not losing my awareness and caution appeared valuable. It also became about being able to notice subtle things and shifts. 

There is also a level at which I value not falling into a pattern of numbing the pain. That's not saying that I have never tried pushing emotional pain down, but there are methods that would be more effective so would be more likely to be habit-forming.

Ultimately, what I do and say happens as me, unvarnished, and I am at peace with that.

I have many friends who do drink alcohol and coffee -- I have a friend who loves tea -- and some who smoke and have used other drugs. I don't want to sound judgmental of them or anyone else. The point I am trying to make is that because of my religious faith and covenants, I committed to this early and felt benefits that caused my appreciation to grown.

Recently I was thinking about chastity.

This is another thing I am committed to and in which I believe strongly, but I know and care about and respect many people who do not. 

It tends to be viewed as worse than other things, which I don't think is helpful.

I don't think that people who have sex with people to whom they are not married are automatically that much worse than the chaste. There may be ways in which it is more serious, but in terms of what the people are like... yeah, there are a lot of kind, honest people who have sex outside of marriage.

I have had difficulty in writing about chastity because it gets so caught up in dominator culture, specifically with misogyny, in the discussions that do happen about it. Recently I have started thinking about it as something like the Word of Wisdom. It is something I believe in and have committed to, and that many people have not. 

As I continue to live it, I see the value more and in different ways. That's not about me being superior to anyone. I still think they could benefit from it, but without believing it would be hard to commit.

The other caveat I will make is that, while the Word of Wisdom is specific to us, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" is much more general. 

Sure, that is sex, but it is also cheating on someone you have committed to... it is more than sex.

Please do not take this as my advice to go out and have sex (and drugs) indiscriminately; there are downsides!

I am just saying that I find it helpful to think about it this way.

In addition, as I think about all of the after-school specials we watched in health class, I remember them showing bad potential results of things they didn't want us to do: teen pregnancy, STDs, drunken car crashes, etc. I suppose they were trying to scare us straight (we watched Scared Straight, too) but it didn't work. I definitely knew kids who drove drunk and had sex. I do remember one pregnancy scare, but they should have already seen Daddy before it happened. Maybe they were sick that day, but it is easy to feel young and invulnerable. 

However, if they can believe that there are other reasons and that choosing something else can be better, that could work. I didn't do those things because I was committed to not do them. (Not everyone I went to church with had the same philosophy. I know.)

That may not be something schools can teach well, either. Parents could if they know it, but some parents may also be operating mainly from fear or from hypocrisy.

I admit that things are hard, a lot, I know.

My biggest point is that you can't judge people for not living up to things that they never agreed to live up to or saw any benefit to. 

The point beyond that is it doesn't mean that these things are not good and can't be wonderful.