Defending the undefended

I was reluctant to use this story, because of the people insisting that it isn't real. That's why I appreciate that this article focuses on that part:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/nbcblk/brickgate-revives-age-old-argument-black-men-women-rcna104423

A woman posted a video from the hospital saying that a man had asked her for her phone number, and when she refused he hit her with a brick. She focused on the men who were standing around and did not help her.

Perhaps it was that sense of being accused that caused so many men to respond. There were men saying she should have just given him her number, and women talking about their Google phone numbers, which they use to get out of giving their real numbers. 

I definitely remember some white men in politics saying that maybe if girls had just been nicer to Elliot Rodger, maybe he wouldn't have shot so many people.

There were men saying she deserved it. 

There were also men saying that they need to get home to their family, and why should they put their own selves at risk for some other woman? There were women answering that by pointing out that often a verbal warning from another man would suffice.  

I think that is largely true.

Safety concerns can be real. It's been a few years, but if you say "Tri-Met stabbing" Portland still remembers that when three men stood up to a man harassing two young Black women, all three were stabbed, two fatally.

https://jezebel.com/trimet-max-stabbing-victim-says-portland-has-a-white-sa-1795729516 

(Note: There have been at least two other stabbings that you might think of, but you will probably think of this one first.)

That danger can be real, but there is also a reason that these angry, violent men are choosing Black women. 

The "Brickgate" article's biggest weakness is that it never mentions misogynoir. 

There is prejudice, and that includes racism and sexism, and the feeling that you should be able to have people "lower" than you at your disposal; that you should be able to exert authority over them.

Beyond that, there is the way they combine. There is that there is also anti-Blackness on top of racism, and that sometimes it can be internalized. 

That it can feel safer to attack a Black woman than a white woman, or a Black man.

That there can be complicity among even those who would not attack, because they can still justify the attack, and work really hard to justify their own non-involvement.

I wrote not long ago that for a lot of things we rely upon convention and unwritten rules, like standing in line. There are people who prosper from trampling over those conventions because other people are more uncomfortable with addressing the violations than allowing them.

If someone cuts in front of me in line, maybe I don't care that much; if someone is about to be physically assaulted, I better not be okay with that.

I am grateful many people came to the defense of Damien Pickett; there should have been similar help for Roda Osman. Even just asking, "Do you need some help?" "What's going on?' could have been enough. A lot of the worst behavior fades away under attention.

 There is a lot in this about power dynamics, but yes, if there was a woman attacking a man for not giving her his phone number, yes, we should come to his defense too. It's harder to picture, isn't it?

There's a reason for that.