I suppose the most important part (for me) of seeing a form of personalization in each interaction is the story of the Syrophenician woman.
Matthew 15:21-28 and Mark 7:1-23
It doesn't sound great on its own, and racism is a hot button for me. Usually the best explanations I hear are that the word he used for "dog" was for beloved pets, but street curs, with a reminder that she took his analogy and extended it. He did have a short amount of time to accomplish a lot, and that specific mission was focused on the House of Israel.
That could make sense if the healing took considerable time or resources, though there is really no indication of that. If we look at it as Jesus being unwilling to heal the daughter because it was outside of his mission, but then relenting, it could also make sense, but I don't believe he ever intended to withhold the healing. He knew what he could and should do, and what he shouldn't, and was very committed to his mission. If there were a reason not to heal, I believe he would not have done it.
Looking at it in that light, his engagement with the woman is more likely about her, and building her faith.
It is possible she saw Jesus as someone with a special gift, but not as the son of God. There exchange may have given her a better understanding of who he was. It is also possible that she was already a believer, or starting to be, but because she was not going to have a real community of faith for some time she was going to need some determination, and she was learning this. It could have been her way of learning the need for persistence, whereas others would learn by pondering the parable of the unjust judge (Luke 18:1-8).
Ultimately I trust this incident to have been designed for her good, because I trust Jesus to be constantly working for our good. I also trust him not to be racist, while fully understanding that there are people who have and continue to justify their racism scripturally.
The part that is missing from the scriptural account is what he knew about each person. Sometimes we can guess, especially if something sounds familiar to our own hearts, but there is a lot that we don't know and that at the time his disciples probably did not know. When endeavoring to serve the Lord, our own lack of knowledge can feel like a horrible handicap.
There are two stories that are easy to compare that may give us some clues.
One is that sometimes it may be best not to give all of the information right away. This happens with the rich young ruler.
"Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?"
That Jesus not only gives the basic commandments but asks "Why callest thou me good?" gives the young man an out. You know the basics, and you are doing them. And Jesus loved him for that! It was not judgmental.
But asked for an additional diagnosis - because even doing well the young ruler sensed there was more - Jesus answered honestly. It wasn't an answer for everyone, because not everyone has to give everything away. That Jesus could ask the young ruler to follow him shows that this person had great possibilities. In fact, his riches were a stumbling block.
Realistically, it appears to have been one he could have waited to face. Some people grow more attached to their wealth over time, but he could also have learned more perspective over the next few years. There is a part of me that thinks that if you have a chance to do something great, go for it, but sometimes you may need to grow more. In addition to having some patience with ourselves (balanced with a desire to do what is right), we should have compassion on others. Raise them up, but don't pull them harder than would be good for them. Sometimes you don't have to do very much.
That brings us to the story of Zacchaeus, one of my favorites. All Jesus asked for was dinner, but it was more than that. He saw someone, and he saw potential and called him by name. The request was small, but the inspiration was great. On his own there was a giving away of many riches, some as charity, some as recompense for prior wrongs. Others judged, but Jesus called and rejoiced.
Even with our limited wisdom, we can see others, appreciate their current good, and hope for their future good.
It starts with just looking to see.
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