The letter

I finally wrote it and sent it. It took a lot longer than I had ever anticipated, but there shouldn't be any surprises for anyone who read the five previous posts.

I included the heading in case anyone wants to write their own letters.

August 7^th, 2020

The First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles

of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Church Office Building

50 E North Temple Street

Salt Lake City, Utah 84150

Hello,

This letter has been a long time in coming. I have felt a need to say something since I first heard about $100 billion spread across multiple hedge funds and shell companies, but it took a lot of personal effort to sort out my own feelings.

I should start by saying that I have been a faithful tithe payer for decades now (for as long as I can remember) and generous with offerings. I had not beeing working when the news broke, making my contributions smaller and less frequent, but they were still full. An odd job got me fifty dollars shortly after hearing about the investments. I felt the strangest combination of sickness and shame when I paid my $5.00. I could never have imagined feeling that way about tithing before.

In the explanation that came out, there was a reference to the parable of the talents in Matthew 25, but the parable that came to my mind was the parable of the rich fool in Luke 12; we should not be storing up for future ease, especially when there is so much good that can be done now.

That was why I felt sick about the five dollars. It is such a small amount, and yet it can still do some good, especially combined with the funds of others. By turning it over to the church, it would only go to supporting capitalism, and increasing corporate bottom lines.

I still believe in the law of tithing, and that I will be blessed for obedience to it. This is still my church. I am continuing to pay tithing, but no longer paying any offerings or additional contributions. That is what I can live with, but also I need to speak out.

We have been given so many changes and directions to try and get us to live more by the spirit; it seems to me that every change is trying to get us to feel more and be more inspired, including the reminders about the names we use and the logo.

When I see members supporting Trump and hating immigrants – again, despite reminders that we care about refugees and don't support any political candidate or party – those reminders do not seem to be working. It kills me inside that we have so much that we could do, and yet we are mainly known for our bigotry. Members with the best hearts are falling away because of that.

Could it be that we have become too conservative? Not merely in terms of a political party, but in terms of becoming afraid of change that we will ignore inequities and resist improvement? God has not given us the spirit of fear.

I understand that we are waiting for Christ's return. There are reasons for believing that it is getting close, and that some preparedness is in order. As true as that is, I cannot believe that when the Savior returns our best offering could be a check.

There might be value in buying food supplies and shelters and goods that can be used to benefit people, but even those could be lost or destroyed or lose potency while we wait.

It would be a wonderful offering now to give Him more hungry people fed, more homeless sheltered, and more sick healed.

I know we make contributions, but I have also done math. One article showed that we have given $5.5 million to Covid-19 relief. That is .0055 percent – less than one hundredth of one percent – of $100 billion. I also read that since 1985 we have given $2.2 billion in humanitarian aid. That is 2.2 percent over 35 years. For all the flaws of individual members, collectively we should be able to do better than that.

We need your leadership to do so. We could give $1 million to 1000 charities and still have $99 billion. We could set aside $12 billion as a savings fund, divide the other $88 billion among the 30940 wards and branches and let each have $2.85 million to spend to improve their local communities. There are so many amazing things that can be done, but we are not doing them.

When Christ returns, will we even use money? Will He support hedge funds? The efforts at concealment in spreading the money across multiple funds (and not letting President Packer see the information when he asked) tells me that there is a level on which this is uncomfortable. It should be.

I do not believe anyone has tried to exploit or act inappropriately in terms of acquiring the funds or deciding what to do with them. It is natural as you accumulate more to become more aware about the losses that can happen, but we are admonished to put off the natural man.

Matthew 25 does tell us what we should be doing: feeding the hungry, giving drinks to the thirsty, welcoming strangers, clothing the naked , and ministering to the sick and those in prison.

There are great needs for food and clean water. There are many without homes, or seeking new countries that will be safer. There are people who have not been convicted of any crime languishing in jail because they lack funds for bail and for representation. There are so many people in need of healing, physically and emotionally. How can we justify ignoring that? Do we know Him at all?

I beg you to think long and hard and to pray about a better way to use these sacred funds.

Sincerely,

Gina Harris

In conclusion - week five of coming to grips with the hedge fund

Last week the writing changed. I found myself referring to other articles and studies on the topics of wealth, and even starting with a quote from a musical. At first I thought it was weird, but I believe it was a signal that my thoughts actually are getting organized and I can put them in a larger framework. Therefore, this week I can go all scriptural.

In the First Presidency response, they justified their building of a "prudent" reserve by referring to the Parable of the Talents.

https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/first-presidency-statement-church-finances

That is in Matthew 25, and we will get back to that. My first thought was of a different parable, found in Luke 12, verses 16-21. Without intending to offend anyone, it is referred to as the Parable of the Rich Fool:

16 ... The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully:

17 And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?

18 And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.

19 And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.

20 But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?

21 So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.

It is tempting to throw in a reference to Jacob 2:18-19, about seeking riches for the intent to do good, but I do not believe that riches were sought; they just happened, but then it changed things. I understand preparing for trying times to come, but there are trying times now, and $100 billion is a ridiculous amount of money. There is suffering now; do we alleviate that suffering or do we believe that when Christ returns he will be most interested in being handed a large check?

In the Parable of the Talents, the servant that is reprimanded for burying his talent said he did it because his master was a hard master who reaped where he did not sow. That character represents the Lord, but we should not assume that is an accurate depiction of his personality. Yes, in the framework of the parable, multiplying your talent means investing it with usurious lenders, but securing billions of dollars in a hedge fund that benefits corporations and capitalists seems much more akin to burying it than almost anything else we could do.

Let's remember that Matthew 25 is all parables about being ready for the Lord's return. In addition to the Parable of the Talents, we have the Parable of the Ten Virgins, which reminds us that you can be a virgin and an invited guest but still not really know Him, and the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats, which tells us how to know Him.

35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

They didn't know whom they had been serving, and those who ignored the needs didn't either, so there is further explanation:

 40 ...Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me...

45 ... Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

And let's look at that verse in Jacob:

19 And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.

That is what we should be doing. That is what it is tearing me up inside that we are not doing.

The church leadership has done so many things to try and make people more Christ-centered. It feels like they all fail, especially when I see how many members are Trump supporters.

Doing Christ's work could change that. With $100 billion (or save two years worth of expenses, and just start with $88 billion) there is so much that could be done to feed the hungry, provide pure water, shelter homeless and improve homes that are in use but not in good shape. There is so much that can be done to heal sick and injured, and improve access for those whose limitations can't be changed, and provide comfort for those whom medicine cannot heal. There could be so much healing effected by providing therapy and support. There is so much that can be done to increase literacy, and clean up pollution, and free prisoners.

If we aren't seeing those needs, we just aren't looking.

Yes, I am still paying tithing even though I am frustrated with that now, and many faithful people probably still will. A flood of good pouring across the planet could inspire many more. It could lead to much more joyful giving. It could lead to more loving service.

That's what I long for. I try and do my little drops of service here and there, but the world needs a flood. Remove the dam!

That is what I want to see.

Tomorrow I will write my letter, and prepare it for sending.

It only took five weeks.

Fear of losing what we shouldn't even have

Ten pounds is a lot o' money. Makes a man feel prudent-like, 
and then goodbye to 'appiness.

In My Fair Lady, Eliza's father Alfred asks Professor Higgins and Colonel Pickering for five pounds "for one good spree". The professor offers him ten, but ten is too much for a spree. "The missus wouldn't have the 'eart to spend ten."

It's played for comedy, but it's also true; there is a level where money stops helping and being a comfort, and starts becoming a burden.

You can look at this from different directions. From the bottom up, studies have shown that the happiness that comes from earning more money tops out somewhere between $60-75,000 annually. Of course cost of living varies from place to place, but that range is essentially where your needs are met, and you can get some wants, but even more so your problems don't grind you down and feel insurmountable. There's a lot of fear and stress that goes with being low-income.


http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2019628,00.html
https://money.com/ideal-income-study/ 

Then, after hitting an income of $95,000 per year, happiness actually starts to decline. Maybe this is where you start feeling more stress about what appearances you need to put on, or that your taxes are going to undeserving people and that no one appreciates how much you do.

From the other direction, wealth creates insecurity. I have seen multiple articles about millionaires in Silicon Valley who feel pressure to keep up with people who have more millions than they do. In Abigail Disney's New Yorker profile, she cited a study the Chronicle of Philanthropy did on inherited wealth. It showed that no matter how much each recipient had received, to feel secure they thought they would need about twice as much.

(So if you had inherited $25 million, you would think having $50 million would be enough, but if you had inherited $50 million, you would believe you needed $100 million.)

I have less sympathy than I could for the nervous rich, but it does appear that it changes the brain, and not in a way that increases happiness or makes the world better. Even those who are considered philanthropists - which should be a good thing - don't end up truly improving and solving their causes (read Anand Giridharadas), not to mention there often being destructive business practices on the way to wealth.

So the Waltons might take federal tax credits, and also pay their employees low enough wages that they require government assistance while destroying existing local businesses, and the Sacklers might allow prescription mills to create a whole new and improved drug scourge, and Jeff Bezos might buy Whole Foods and cut medical benefits, and people don't seem to remember now some of the things that Bill Gates did to make Windows rule.

All of that could be expanded upon (and probably will be in the main blog) but there is limited application. The church has not done anything unethical to acquire its wealth. Tithing is a principle that goes back at least to Abraham, and those who tithe are blessed.

However, at some point it clearly got to be too much. That brings in a hesitancy, and a distrust. In fact, it brings in conservatism. If that word applies in multiple ways, that is not strictly coincidental.

And I am mortified that when we have the ability to do so much good, we are mainly known for our bigotry.

That is shameful.

Things that bother me but are not the key issue

This is my third post on what I think of as the Mormon hedge fund. I know President Nelson would not love that term, but the hedge fund of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints does not really sound that much better. 

My key issue is the good being left undone, and I will write about that. This week is about the secrecy.

Let me be clear, though, that I don't think any church leaders are living luxuriously because of it. There is no greed at fault.

That matters to me, but it also matters to me that they have divided the investment funds across multiple hedge funds and through shell companies, apparently for the express purpose of concealment.

The kindest explanations I have heard for the secrecy (speculation from others; not official statements) are concerns that if members knew about the surplus that they would not feel like they needed to pay tithing, or that members would try and guide their own investments by following the church's portfolio, which could have unfortunate results.

I doubt the latter was ever officially considered, but it has some merit. I can totally see some members deciding that if a stock is good enough for the church, it is good enough for them, and then if they lost money on that they could have a crisis of faith. That is also quite possible, because the real secret to success in the stock market is having deep enough pockets that you can ride out any market downturns. It is very easy to make money when you already have it.

I was amused by the conscientious mentions in the articles that there was nothing like Starbucks or Coca-Cola in the portfolio. I remember it being a big deal when I was a teenager that the corporation of the church had Coca-Cola shares, even though cola is not specifically forbidden, and lots of faithful members drink it. (But also, lots of faithful members will judge you for drinking it, then and now.)

The tithing concern I get more, except that I have heard so many times, "The Lord doesn't need you to pay tithing; you need to pay it for you!" or something to that effect. And I believe it. Paying tithing blesses the person who pays it. I know about the fund, I hate it, and I still pay it. I think many people would keep paying it. It does not show much faith to think that they wouldn't.

Again, I don't know if that is a factor in the thinking, but it does feel like the choices are being made with less faith and more fear, or at least shame or embarrassment.

Not letting President Packer see the books when he asked? That indicates at least some understanding that it is not good.

I noticed a few things that surprised me as I was investigating. For instance, in the April conference they always read an audit report, and it confirms that everything has been done according to church policies and goals. I had never noticed before the line that "The Church follows the practices taught to its members of living within a budget, avoiding debt, and saving against a time of need."

That started in 2014, with the 2013 annual report. It wasn't there for 2012. Was that when the money started piling up? Perhaps as things recovered from the 2008 collapse? Did they look and think, this is starting to be too much money? I don't know.

I also see now that they stopped giving the statistical report (numbers of members, baptisms, church units, etc.) after 2017. It's not a secret because you can find that information on the church web site, but I am curious about the thinking now.

So here are some numbers, just for fun.

I don't object to having some reserve. I saw one estimate that the annual operating expenses for the church are $6 billion. Let's say that a two-year reserve is reasonable, so that leaves you with $88 billion to spend.

Divided between 16,565,036 members, that would be $5312 each. Obviously, that would include a lot of people who don't go anymore, and is probably not the most efficient way of doing good anyway. If you divided the $88 billion among the 30940 wards and branches, they would each have $2.85 million, which could be an amazing amount for helping the members or the local area, based on their needs. 

I am still not saying that's the best way of doing anything, but here are some other numbers, based on articles from the church newsroom.

https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/church-cash-commodities-donation-covid-19-april-2020

The church donated $5.5 million to COVID-19 relief. That is .0055 percent of the full $100 billion.

Since 1985, the church has given $2.2 billion in aid through its humanitarian arm. That is 2.2 percent over 35 years.

I know we can do better than that. I believe that we must do better than that.

More on that and the possible role of fear next time.

Finding out

Okay, last week I wrote about my history as a faithful tithe payer who was generous with offerings.

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2020/05/talking-about-money.html

I have still tried to give when I could, but over the past four years I have been making a lot less money, if I was making any at all. With the paid care-giving now (and it is less every two weeks than what I was making in one week in 2008), I did not start getting those pay checks until January.

I did make $50 in December, wrapping gifts for a family friend. I got paid just after the story broke: over $100 billion in multiple hedge funds and shell companies.

I paid my $5.00, but it felt gross: part sick and part shame. I have never felt that way about tithing before.

I have been wanting to write a letter to the Church since then, getting out all of my feelings. I have not done so in a timely matter. What I am starting to realize is how much is there, and how much processing it is taking. There was last week's post but there were two journal sessions before that, and this post is not going to finish it. (I think there will be two more.)

A letter will still happen. By the time I get there I will know exactly what I want and need to say. I see now that this preparation cannot guarantee that the letter will be short and to the point. For one thing, there will be multiple points.

Here are two points that are important...

One: I know that no one in church leadership is living high on the hog because of this. It is not a matter of personal enrichment. That does matter to me, even though there are still plenty of other problems.

Two: I still believe in the importance of tithing. I know I have been blessed for paying it. Having a regular paycheck again, I am still paying it, and paying based on the gross. I know I could pay ten percent of my income to many good causes, but this is still my church. It would not feel right for me to withhold my ten percent.

It is still very disappointing now, knowing that my contributions will be locked away in a hedge fund, doing no earthly good. Therefore, I cannot foresee a time when there will be any other contributions to anything else -- neither fast offerings nor temples nor missionary work -- even though all of those things have meaning for me. I can't justify giving them any more. Even if they start spending the money and distributing it, that is a huge backlog.

They will still get my vote for breaking up what they have, apparently in about three weeks.

Talking about money

I am going to do something very gauche now, and write candidly - with specific amounts - about money.

Yes, that is very taboo, but that is the kind of thing that allows inequality to continue. Your boss not wanting you and your coworkers to discuss salary may be to keep people who could reasonably earn more from knowing it, but it doesn't have to be that way at church.

Before my 2008 job loss I felt like I was doing pretty well financially. I had sort of noticed the cost of living going up, though I may have been in some denial about it. Anyway, I was grossing $800 a week, and I paid tithing on the gross: $80 per week.

See, that's something you are not usually supposed to come right out and say. When I first started having a pay check from which taxes were withheld, that felt right, so that's what I did. At times I would think that if I paid on the net income, it would then follow that I would pay tithing on any tax refund I received. I never switched to paying on the net, but I usually made a contribution from my refund too.

I have a tendency toward generosity anyway, being a soft touch for many things. It always worked out. Even when things have been terrible, I have still found ways to give, sometimes possibly more than was prudent but that still felt right.

We also talk about the importance of a generous fast offering, without getting specific about that.

I understand why we are reluctant to talk, but it can have value. I have heard good arguments for paying on net income. While it hasn't changed what feels right to me, I am glad to understand that my way is not the only way. Someone who pays on the net and has it working for them might feel bad if I say I pay on the gross, especially if I proclaim it the only right way, which I do not have the authority to do.

There is a lot of room for individual judgment in living the commandments. We go to tithing settlement, and the bishop only asks if you pay a full tithing. He doesn't ask whether that is net or gross, or eye the slip to multiply by ten and see if that is likely to match your income. That's a good thing.

(There may be some bishops who do, or who ask you more than the "yes" or "no" questions, but they are probably overreaching and may be abusing power, even with good intentions.)

Similarly, if we compare fast offering amounts, and I pay much more than you, you might feel bad. This could be ridiculous, especially if I make much more money than you, or have fewer expenses, or a variety of other reasons.

At the same time, there is sometimes relief in knowing how someone else does it. That shouldn't then become an undue influence, and it can, so I have some trepidation as I write this.

Anyway, at some point between the ages of 18 and 36, my fast offerings went from $5 to $10 and $20 and $40, until by 2008 I was paying a $140 fast offering, monthly, where my monthly tithing was $320. I sometimes contributed to other things like missionary or temple funds too, but that's what I was giving, and it felt right.

Seriously, it felt like I needed to. It felt like I needed to see what I was capable of giving, and what faith I was capable of showing. I felt like I was being given a challenge and answering it.

That was between me and God. I don't recommend those amounts for anyone else. I can recommend trying to find what is a good amount for you, but that is highly individual, and it should be.

In September of 2008, I went to Australia and New Zealand for a month. My bosses lied to me outright about many things, so that when I came back I not only had no job but was ineligible for unemployment. That's the second time I had a crooked boss work things out that way, but the world economy didn't crash the first time. It was rough.

I then received a lot of help from church funds. I had been helped once before in college, and members paid most of my mission costs (I think it cost $350 per month at the time, and I had enough saved up to pay $50 per month). I have gotten help with a few things since during these past four years of unemployment, though not as much as you might think. (I have some stories there, but I don't know if I will tell them.)

I have learned a few lessons along the way. Being a good person and paying your tithing does not prevent financial hardship, but it does bless you. It would have been really easy for me to not be able to afford college, a mission, trips we have taken, and even some medical bills, but things worked out.

Things have often been precarious while I have been caring for my mother, but we still have a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, and food on our table. That is composed of many miracles and blessings.

I have learned that sometimes you are the giver and sometimes you need to receive. Frankly, I still have a hard time with that one. I learned it mentally, but I am not quite there on not minding emotionally. It is pride, but not only pride, and I know a lot people who read this will get it completely. Especially now when the Church is really doubling down on self-reliance, it is easy to feel like a failure when you need help. I still ultimately know that I have worked hard and done many good things.

I am writing all of this now because of something that I have been trying to write since December, when the story broke about the Church's $100 billion dollar investment fund.

That's a long time to stall, but I feel now like I needed to get out my story of tithes and offerings first. I have been such a true believer. I have thought deeply about these things, and had faith increased. Some things have changed and some haven't, but the things that have changed have been a source of grief.

I hope now that I am ready to express myself on that.

Love in the time of COVID-19

Wednesday on the main blog I made a comparison to people reacting badly to government requests circa WWI and people reacting badly to COVID-19.

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/03/dont-be-like-that.html

I wanted to do a post about good reactions today.

I don't think it would be valuable to give health tips. There is a lot of good information out there, though there is also a lot of bad information too. I saw a very nice graphic today about how you can get rid of Coronavirus by frequent gargling at the start of the disease. (You can't.)

I also remembered doing a post a little over ten years ago that is kind of relevant:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2009/03/november-2008-in-case-of-pandemic.html

That is not terrible information, though there was a certain optimism there about the possibility of being financially secure and well-rested. The financial collapse that had just happened there mattered, and many other unhelpful (sometimes orange) things have happened.

So I think the only really useful thing I can say is be kind.

There may be some room for compassion toward people who only watch Fox News and do not have good information. Maybe sharing helpful articles is good in that case. There may be room for compassion toward people who defiantly risk spreading disease because they think it proves something, or people who panic hoard, or people who try and fail at profiteering. If you feel anger instead, though, that is totally okay.

However, there is a lot of room for compassion on those who will be cut off socially, and may be relying on screen time more, with those specific shortcomings. There is room for compassion on those who will be trying to work from home with the added stress of managing children, or people who will take serious income losses from this. There is room for compassion toward health care workers and elderly people and people who are at a greater risk of infection and death.

So first, really try not to spread the disease. It is better not to get sick, but some will get sick and reducing that number allows better care for them.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/coronavirus-italy-hospitals-doctor-lockdown-quarantine-intensive-care-a9401186.html

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/03/10/814091024/you-have-a-fever-and-a-dry-cough-now-what

More people staying well also means more people being able to wash and sanitize and keep up nutrition. Sure, get the things that you need, but don't hoard. You need other people to be well, so they can ring up your purchases and pick up your garbage and take care of you if you do get sick and you need them to not infect your grandparents. We need to be fighting the disease, not each other.

(Also understandable, a mix of compassion and irritation on teams and Rose Court princesses and drama students who just think their things shouldn't be canceled. They will gain perspective eventually.)

If you can help financially, there will be people needing it. Maybe a concert was canceled, but you can buy a T-shirt or vinyl. Maybe you can pay for someone's groceries. Meals on Wheels and food banks will be contributing a lot; maybe you can help with that. Not everyone will be able to give their tenants a free month of rent, but that could help a lot.

https://www.newscentermaine.com/article/news/health/coronavirus/south-portland-landlord-challenges-others-to-offer-financial-relief-due-to-coronavirus-concerns/97-bac48d89-43df-434a-93a6-4734445206dd?

Sadly, often the best people have the least money, but there are still ways to help for those stressed and lonely. A question about sanitizing mail worries me that this is not the time for cheerful notes, but there is still Skype and e-mail and phone calls and Snapchat. If technology means that we can carry germs all over the world in a few hours, it also means that we can remember each other and connect without spreading germs.

(Remember to sanitize your phone.)

Personally, I am going to be struggling. As my mother's dementia has gotten worse, I need more time physically away from her, and this is going to make it hard. It also makes having phone calls that aren't taking time away from her or irritating her hard. I worry about that, but I believe in the possibility of solutions. I believe in kindness.

I also believe in the power of prayer. It is not just that things can happen that are not done by us, but also that prayer can focus us, so that we get better ideas and are better at executing them. Start there and see what happens.

This is not going to be easy, but people can either make things better or worse.

Make it better.