The Fifth Article of Faith

We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

One of the expressions that confuses people who aren't members the most is probably when we talk about our callings.

When people talk about callings outside of the church, they usually mean something that they feel called to do as a life's work. That can happen to church members as well, but it is pretty normal to have callings that are temporary and that don't have to start out with soul searching and that is really good.

Let me back up.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has no professional clergy. There are paid professions in the church educational system with the schools; those are not volunteer positions. Some of the professional buildings have paid custodial staff (though we also take turns cleaning the regular meeting houses)... for most things that happen, it is someone volunteering their time where the only compensation is spiritual.

You don't decide what you are going to do. When you get asked you can say "no", but generally you are saying "yes".

I have written many posts about speaking in church, and also about giving lessons. Those are things that people do without pay, taking turns, but getting asked. 

It can work out differently, depending on the thing. For example, you may be called to be a Sunday school teacher. Probably you will not be the only one, and you will rotate giving lessons, working out a schedule with the other teachers. For speaking on Sunday, members are asked to give talks. Maybe they ask you for a time when you will be out of town, and you say that... they may ask you to speak the following week then contact someone else for that day.

People are supposed to pray and carefully consider the needs before extending a calling. Then, obviously prayer and pondering would be a part of doing your calling. 

That being said, I remember more than once hearing jokes from people about it being desperation rather than inspiration.

I think some of that comes from not wanting to brag, maybe, and often people have doubts about how good of a job they can do.

It generally works out. I was just talking to one teacher who is very insecure about teaching, but I know she does a good job. If she was more confident, maybe she would not do as well.

I know I have at times thought there were callings that I would never be able to do; later on I ended up doing them and it worked out. 

I have loved teaching Sunday school, but I have also been very happy as a ward librarian (helping people with copies and lesson supplies), in the nursery (children 18 months to three years old), working with youth, organizing activities, and being in charge of emergency preparedness.

I get different things from different callings, which I think makes it good that we change things up periodically. 

Currently, as a counselor in the Relief Society presidency, I find myself having more love and appreciation for the women in the ward. I am grateful for that. 

Even with the calling where I did my worst job ever, Relief Society accompanist, well, I learned things from doing it, if mostly humility. I don't regret doing it, but I am also glad it didn't last for that long.

The Fourth Article of Faith

We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

There is a level at which all of the articles build upon each other, but I think that is especially striking with the first four; first there is that God exists, then that sin does, but also that there is atonement.

This article then puts them together. 

Faith has to come first because without it there is no motivation for anything else.

There are two scriptures I want to reference for that...

Hebrews 11:1 -- Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 

It is not just belief, because it is in something true and there are signs and things that come and make it grow. 

Alma 32:28 --  Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

It takes some openness, but it is not happening without input and thought.

It does change you, and part of that is caring about things and people more, and wanting to be good, which is why it must lead to repentance.

Repentance is a whole topic on its own, but there is commitment that is signaled by baptism and that baptism cleanses and then the Holy Ghost sanctifies.

Again, there could easily be multiple subtopics here. I am not going to get into all of that now, but there is information out there.

None of the articles mention baptism for the dead, but that is something we do, and is something I have written about before:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2024/03/ordinances-for-everyone.html 

I will reaffirm here what I wrote about there; one of the keys to my faith is that I find mercy and justice through the entire system.

If there were people who did not have access to salvation because of the time and place where they were born, or how short their life was, or anything else that they could not control, how could we trust God?

Of course, many people don't. 

What I understand is that God is better than fair, and better than people. 

I am not saying you have to believe that. 

My beliefs bring me hope and joy, and I do want to share that.

I also want to suggest leaving some room for belief. 

If you were to learn that healing and reparation would come for everything, would that be enough, or would you still be angry? If there were meaning in the prior suffering that you could understand, would that help?

Leave room for a seed.  

The Third Article of Faith

We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

The balance of justice and mercy may be the most important part of my faith, and here is where we get to it.

I know people who have had trouble forgiving someone who wronged them because they felt like that would make it right.

It doesn't; the wrong is still wrong.

(Forgiveness can be a part of healing, but don't try and abridge the healing because someone else is demanding forgiveness; that's a different problem.)

The wrongs that are done and the pain that is caused must be paid for and they have, by Jesus Christ, if you repent.

(This will take us a little into the Fourth Article as well.)

People get hung up on not having the same chances, so life isn't fair, or that none of it really matters or that there is no choice. 

I love L.M. Montgomery but she has Presbyterians saying, at least semi-seriously, that there's no point worrying over things because they're all foreordained.

That is how some people justified that other people would not have the chance to be baptized or that the righteous should be blessed... foreordination and so every thing is the way it should be, even if it seems horrible to look at.

No. We have choices, as do the people around us, and some of those choices are bad.

The wicked may prosper and the righteous may suffer. 

(It is more flagrant for some; I've noticed.)

However, Christ has conquered both death and sin, so all of that can be healed. Even though it takes time and even though everyone will not repent, they will get the chance.

I have not been a huge sinner. Sometimes in the scriptures there are people who feel great suffering for sins that probably aren't that bad. (For the Book of Mormon, 2nd Nephi 4 and Enos come to mind.)

I am not good enough to be like that. Maybe someday I will. 

I have at times had suffering spiritually healed. It feels like a miracle.

Someone has already felt your pain and paid the price for it. 

I also sometimes live with pain. I have become a more compassionate, tender person because of that.

I'm not saying any of that is easy, or even easy comprehend, but I have complete faith that the plan works and that there is room in it for everyone, with everyone still having choice.

That faith gives me joy. 

  

The Second Article of Faith

We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.

Doctinally, perhaps the most interesting thing here is that we don't believe in original sin, where everyone is tainted just being born into this world. That means you don't need something like "immaculate conception" where somehow Mary's conception was different so she could be a fit vessel for the virgin birth.

For years when people talked about immaculate conception, I assumed that was about the conception of Jesus, not Mary. 

This is important to me because there can be a tendency to look down on flesh and humanity and all of those things. I admit that they are flawed, but also that they are good.

For our faith, the Fall was necessary to allow us this flawed growth.  

I am glad to have a body, even though I am very aware of its weaknesses (even more as I age).

I am glad to have knowledge of good and evil, even though a world where everyone has that knowledge and has the ability to choose means that bad things happen to me and because of me.

Good things happen too, and they have meaning. They can be hard won.

There is a scripture in the Book of Mormon, "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."  (2nd Nephi 2:25)

There is messiness to life, but there is also meaning and beauty and depth.

I know that for some people who have issues with religion, this is where it comes in. How can God allow such things to happen?

I had said in the first post that I would get more into my relationship with Christ in the third article, and I will get more into this as well.

Those parts all go together. 

 

The First Article of Faith

We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

Fun story: I once really confused some Jehovah's Witnesses by saying we believed in the Trinity.

I mean, the Trinity was the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, right? We believe in them.

As it is, in our church we do sometimes refer to them as the "Godhead" referring to how they function together. 

I know the difference now, though I still find it kind of weird.

I don't want this to be a series of posts arguing the doctrine, but rather more how I feel about my beliefs and how they affect me. However, I do want to throw in one scripture here.

You might expect it to be from the baptism of Jesus when he is in the water, the voice of the Father is heard, and the Holy Ghost is mentioned as descending like a dove. 

Instead, I want to bring up John 17:21, when Jesus is praying for his apostles...

That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. 

I mention that not to convince anyone, which I don't think one scripture could do, but because I think that there is value in understanding that there can be both unity and the individual. A lot of scripture can point us toward something better, but we have to believe that such things are possible and maybe even imagine them as desirable.

At the same time, so often we hear one thing and imagine the worst possible meaning of it, maybe because of what we have seen from other people... I won't pretend it's not hard.

Because there can be confusion about "God," I will often refer to Heavenly Father specifically. That is whom I pray to.

It gets tricky trying to be respectful and not overuse names, especially as those names become exclamations for so many people. 

For Jesus, I will often refer to "the Savior", and often "the Spirit" for the Holy Ghost. 

Things that are important for the phrasing in the article is that God is the father of our spirits and that our savior is the man who was known as Jesus and was anointed to be the Savior of the World. 

We have less to refer to for the Holy Ghost, and yet that can be the one that you have the most personal experience with.

I will write more about Jesus later (on the third article), but for the other two, this is their importance to me.

You may know that I have had a difficult relationship with my earthly father, even though I love him. There are people with that situation who find it difficult to imagine a loving, fatherly God.

Somehow I always felt that.

Well, let me modify that. I did worry very much about being worthy of love and if He could love me, imperfect mess that I was. However, I was able to understand that He was good; there wasn't going to be any of this unfair, competitive, grudge-holding difficulty. 

In addition, love from God was persistently shown and demonstrated until it was something that I knew and that has been a source of strength.

In my teen years I remember a great deal of emotional pain, specifically about the concern of being lovable to other people. Though that took longer to resolve, there were limits to how much it brought me down. I believe that was the influence of the Holy Ghost, shoring up my resilience.

In addition, there have been many times when I have received knowledge and guidance through the Spirit, so that the biggest influence on my life might be from there, except they all work together, so it doesn't need to be separated out that way.

But they do fill their unique roles, as individuals. So if I wanted to sort it out, I could. 

Articulating faith

I have been thinking for a while about having a series of posts where I go over the Articles of Faith and my thoughts and feelings on them.

I know that sometimes my liberality my seem at odds with the orthodoxy of my belief. I don't find contradiction there, but that may be because of things that are not clear to readers. I have written about some of those things in the past, but I've been doing this for a lot of years; no one is expected to keep track..

This is partially inspired by recent discussion of the Athanasian Creed and who counts as Christians. 

I had always thought people were referring to the Nicene Creed before, so it was interesting to learn there was another one. Apparently, there is also the Apostles' Creed, but Athanasius was a defender of the Nicene Creed, so if the Athanasian Creed was the most recent, it makes sense that it is the reference point. 

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2026/06/an-example-of-believers.html 

My church doesn't believe in it, so based on that, okay, fine. I do find it weird that the Protestants place so much of their definition on something pre-Reformation, but I don't know how much individuals believe it... I mean, faith can get very personal. Sometimes a lot of those things are more felt than thought. 

Both feeling and thinking are important to me. 

We don't have any creeds, but the Articles of Faith would give a good overall view. 

Joseph Smith had received a letter from the editor and owner of the Chicago Democrat asking about the church and faith. This was in 1842, so twelve years after the church was organized. The "Wentworth Letter" gave an introduction and history of the new church, and the articles are kind of a summing up. It doesn't contain everything we believe, but it gives a fairly good gist.

There are thirteen of them, so that is the plan for the next thirteen posts. 

Bewaring of pride, differently

Although I have some more thoughts about the Hegseth thing, I want to finish with this idea I have been working toward ever so subtly.

Maybe the first thing is to point out that when I am writing about things that I think are important, I circle around it a lot and give a lot of examples. It's not that I don't say the point, but I try and give enough information that people will find the logic on their own. 

Statistics should carry more weight than anecdotes, which can be deceiving. However, anecdotes can be what helps people incorporate how something works into their worldview.

With recent posts about perspective and how they can be different, I am getting toward something else that has been bothering me lately. This is about people finding something they think is great, being really excited, and this is what they are going to offer to everyone; you should be enthusiastic about it too.

I am specifically thinking of two people. One I actually believe is completely headed in the wrong direction. I have sympathy for how she got there, but she is wrong and really excited about it.

The other has a point, I think, but it is probably not as universal as she thinks it is. 

Her situation is more to the point.

It is great that something helped you when you were struggling. It can feel like a miracle. If it helps additional people, that is also great.

We are all different. 

Penicillin was a huge breakthrough and works well on a lot of things. Some people are allergic and some bacteria are resistant.

I hope Alexander Fleming doesn't take that personally. 

We have different sources of support. We have experiences where some things resonate with us more than others. We process grief differently. We need different things at different times, where sometimes you really need to process something, but sometimes the immediate need is distraction. 

Our differences can be rich and contribute to life's complex beauty, or we can get huffy about them. 

Something that works for you might might not work for another person because they have a different background that blocks that channel. It might not work for them now, but maybe a few years down the road it will because they have had a chance to learn different things or get used to something.

It can even be that sometimes, when you describe your experience to someone, that it guides them to their own different understanding. Sharing can be good, but it still may not be THE ANSWER.

It struck me because it was a different aspect of pride.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1989/04/beware-of-pride?lang=eng 

Normally when I think of pride, I focus on the "enmity" part, where there is hostility and competition. In terms of people enjoying their talents and blessings without begrudging anyone anything, I am all for that; that's not how I use the word pride.

In this case, it does start with enjoying and enthusiasm. While it is not obviously competitive -- at least at the start -- I suppose the problem is being so sure that this is THE ANSWER. That gives a sense of superiority, or at least a desire for recognition.

That could turn to hostility and resentment. I like to think having any sense of humor and being at all grounded would keep it from going that way. Maybe it is harder to stay grounded in this environment. 

Previously I had worked out that the key to not giving into pride is to focus on loving more and building your affection for people. I still think that's a good overall policy, but I am not sure that it helps with this.

Except, if you really are working on loving people, you should be noticing that there are differences.

The next step may be realizing how those differences play out. Because of that, you may not always know best for them. 

That doesn't have to take away anything from you.

Related posts: 

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2026/06/perspective-check.html 

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2026/06/all-aboard-meal-train.html 

All aboard the Meal Train

Recently I called a friend to check in after seeing they had an injured child.

I offered to start a meal train.

If you don't know, that's when people sign up to bring over dinner. They usually run for about two weeks.

My offer was not sarcastic, but it wasn't earnest either. I was sure she would not want one. She laughed too, like "No!"

If she had said it would help, I totally would have started one and probably taken the first dinner. There's still a level at which we don't take them too seriously and there are reasons for that.

Shortly after that call I saw that a friend of a friend had died. Checking out the obituary, there was a link to a meal train; there was a real outpouring of love in that. 

I felt somewhat humbled. 

Some of my bad attitude comes from memories of people bringing food over for us, where a can of refried beans sat on the counter for weeks until there was a food drive. It was supposed to go in a casserole -- it was not just the can -- but I have a real aversion to all but green beans and I was not going to touch it.

Someone else brought a jar of juice they had made and canned from the grapes in their yard. That is impressive, but we don't drink a lot of juice. It ended up in the pantry and got pushed behind things; the next time we saw it the color had changed and we had to let it go.

Still, we have never really had trouble feeding ourselves.

Back when the average family had a stay-at-home mother who did all of the cooking, her being out of commission could really disrupt the meal supply. People do need to eat.

It has also been common to take food when there is a death, not just because people are sad but also there are often friends and family from out of town. Possibly the genesis of a meal train was so that all the food didn't come in at once.

In the first episode of The Unicorn, widower Wade has a small crisis as he reaches the end of the donated meals that had accumulated in their chest freezer. For a few months it had not mattered that he couldn't cook (but could heat). Sure, it was fictional, but there were different connotations. 

Of course, The Unicorn was set in North Carolina and the other meal train was in Missouri, so maybe part of the issue is that we are pickier eaters in the Pacific Northwest. There might be more dietary issues out here.

I do think there is something to be said for not automatically serving on default settings; that may not be the best way of meeting needs. Asking "Do you need anything?' isn't a great technique either.

Regardless, it was good for me to be reminded that something I don't want can still be good for someone else. 

I did call. I did not find a need for service, but I did get confirmation that things were going okay. 

That is a start, but should not be a finish.

Perspective check

I have been thinking about pride a lot, especially as it relates to dominator culture.

There can be multiple things to say, but I want to start with pride as it relates to intellectual superiority: "I'm smarter than you," "I know better than you," etc.

People will say some really wrong things -- there has been a movement against expertise -- so I get how it is easy to start feeling like you are the last person who knows anything. If that's not you, great, but this message is true for anyone, even those who don't need it:

You are not "smarter" than anyone. You are certainly not smarter than everyone.

That could easily be taken as an insult, but it's not intended that way. It's more a reminder of how we can do better collectively.

I am generally regarded as smart. That is partly that my mind works well in terms of comprehending and recalling facts, as well as integrating different bits of knowledge together. I also have a lot of curiosity and interest in that, so I read a lot and watch videos and do things to learn more. If I go back in time a few years and compare, I have learned a lot.

There is still so much that I don't know. There are other people who know parts that I don't.

No one of us can know it all.

That relates to academic things, but not only that. Different people have different experiences and experience things differently. 

Lots of people know more than I do about crocheting and knitting. There may be people who look down on that knowledge, but if you want a sweater it's important and there may be information picked up about fibers and strength of connection and grip that can pertain to other things.   

Privilege can be a part of knowing, but not the only part. 

For example, the person who can afford to and does move to France when the election does not go the way he wanted does have a different perspective on it than people without those options. It may not be the most useful perspective, even if he has the means to get more publicity on it.

Privilege is not necessarily a part of not understanding how color affects water temperature and that affects algae growth, but it may be a key part of assuming that knowledge is not necessary.  

Beyond that, there are people who may not know much now, but are capable of great understanding and skill with access to that training. 

(So using gifted programs as a way for some people to affirm that their children are special, redirecting resources away from other programs, would be a big mistake.)

We can help each other. One of the early steps is respecting others and what they have to offer.  

It is great to seek knowledge and enjoy it and to love the things that you know; you just need to be able to do that for other people too. 

One on one

If I could just take another moment to complain about Mike Lee, his online tantrum did not help.

Yes, the issue has been resolved (though apparently by removing the Christian designation from everyone, not just Mormons), but that appears to be related more to a phone call between Lee and Trump than all of the outraged tweets:

https://www.stripes.com/theaters/us/2026-06-09/mormon-backlash-pentagon-christian-list-21914850.html 

I had said the real answer would be sucking up; I feel vindicated.

Regardless, the angry tweets still have people talking, and not productively.

It takes different directions, from people spewing hate specifically about our religion or just religion in general, to others talking about how nice Mormons are even though they are not Christians, and theorizing that it is the organization.

There are also former members saying things that aren't correct. Whether that false understanding is part of why they left or happened after, and whether they got it from someone who is still attending... those are all things I can't answer because it's really not the right venue.

I think this happens more on the main blog, but I will sometimes "argue" that there is no point in arguing on the internet. 

I think it happens more on the main blog because that is generally referring to politics. Perhaps that is because political beliefs often turn out to be more a matter of emotion and ideology than reason.

I know it doesn't have to be that way.

We can and should think about things. We should not shut out emotion, but we should not just give in to it either. 

Some of the worst emotions can be really strong.

The internet can be great for sharing pictures or quick updates or jokes. It can be good for leading people to more information or rallying them to action. 

In general, it works more as a broadcast system. 

There are topics for which effective communication requires personal connection. That's a whole different set of requirements.

Sometimes you may still find a closed mind (or you may be the closed mind). Sometimes the only rational thing to do is let some people go, but it is still better to have connected with the person and tried. 

An example of the believers

Mike Lee (and a few other political members) are sharing scriptures and things online, desperately protesting the military declaration that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has been left off the military list of recognized religions.

https://apnews.com/article/us-military-religious-affiliations-pete-hegseth-christian-002a610344189f4f456291d76b910d52 

Despite sharing a religion, I don't agree with Mike Lee very often; that pattern continues.

First of all, regarding Lee's tortured "Why?"

You know why.

We claim that we are Christians because we believe that Jesus Christ was the literal Son of God. By atoning for sin and conquering death through his resurrection, he is the Savior of Mankind. We could go on and on about what he has done for us and how that affects us. 

"Christians" first started being used after the Resurrection (in Antioch, Acts 11:26), long before the Athanasian Creed, used since the early 6th century and currently being referenced a lot.

Those who are not sticking by the creed are focusing on the weirdness of LDS beliefs, but I see a logic to them.

If you accept faith in God, and thus sin and the need for redemption, so literally believe in Christ as the Savior, plenty of people will find that weird. Our beliefs make it make more sense.

Also, if you don't believe in Christ's divinity, but that "Christianity" can consist of trying to be good like him, Latter-Day Saints could reasonably be included in that group too.

So the "why" on that level is the creed, but that's not the real point and it's not my main point.

The real point (and it is a dominator culture point) is that this administration (particularly Hegseth in this case) wants to demonstrate their power. They want to demonstrate that they control who gets in and out of the club. Should there be a literal mark of the Beast, they are going to be the ones assigning it.

I acknowledge that there are going to be practical issues with chaplains and things, but no government body can tell me whether or not my faith is valid. Constitutionally, the U.S. government is not supposed to able to do that to anyone.

This is where Mike Lee really, really sucks.

Instead of having a tantrum about getting kicked out of the club (after being so supportive of the club), where is your concern for the 170 other religions?

Where was your outrage when approved promotions to Brigadier General for two women and two Black men were canceled?

Are you upset at all about the return of screwworm? Persecution of immigrants? Food that was ready to go to starving people being canceled and left to rot?

Jesus would not have done that. 

If your specific objection is just to our exclusion as Christians, and your justification for our inclusion is how closely we follow Christ, waiting for this specific issue makes your argument weak.

I mean that specifically for you and other members who continue supporting Trump and this abomination of an administration. How are people going to look at the things you do and say and think, yeah, that's a Christian all right. 

Well, maybe the people who look down on Christians. 

There might be some bargains offered where certain groups are allowed back on the list with sufficient deference paid. If you want that, you are going to have to give up the enraged posts and start sucking up. 

Before you do that, consider what is more valuable to you. Is it more important to be allowed in the club or to live by your faith?

If you choose the latter, you should consider how well you are doing that. Maybe pray about it. 

Procrastination

7This has frequently been a problem of mine.

I think on one level it is anxiety-related. Sometimes I need to get other things done to get other worries out of the way. Sometimes it may be concerns about how it will go or the commitment to a task that may be long and unpleasant.

Some brains scatter more easily than others.

There is one thing I am learning now that makes not procrastinating even more important, but also makes the anxiety worse...

You do not know what's going to happen next to blow up your schedule.

If you believe you have plenty of time to do something, that sounds great; is it merely an illusion?

I have been very impressed at the things that have gone wrong this week.

I have not progressed in my schoolwork the way I would have hoped.

Have I learned how to do better?

I can only hope.  

 

Wrapping up and moving on

While there is more that could be said and cleaning, tidying, and recycling, the material for the activity has been thoroughly explored. 

Obviously there could be other posts. I thought about spending more time on thinking about what happens to your things after you die. I don't think you should make all of your decisions based on other people, which we covered, but it may be worth leaving some instructions. 

Those have been covered in other posts from other times, and may come up again.

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2015/03/preparing-for-death-part-1.html 

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2021/09/not-procrastinating-issues-of-life-and.html 

I saw something else this week that brought this series of posts full circle.

Someone had posted that most things you turn in don't get recycled. "Are they dirty? They don't get recycled."

These posts covered the importance of following the directions given by the places to whom you donate, as well as talking about "wishful" recycling.

There can definitely be problems; that is true. That's why you pay attention to what materials are accepted and what stipulations they have. 

There may also be issues with some unscrupulous places. As we were researching the "threads" issue, we started seeing a lot of ads for one option. A little searching found them getting pretty terrible reviews. That doesn't mean that there aren't good options, but some diligence is needed.

Saying something that could be true under certain circumstances without clarifying is dishonest. It may be even more important to consider the reason for the dishonesty.

In this case, I think it was a person who likes feeling superior to others; minimizing their efforts is one method. 

The "full circle" part is that it reminded me of the compost issue I had written about earlier, where some people will treat everything human as a contaminant, which is not terribly helpful but is pretty discouraging:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2026/04/cleaning-up-and-clearing-out-getting.html 

I see that on other topics besides recycling. 

Individuals can have various motivations. One person might have heard once that there is no point in recycling, get it stuck in their head, and then repeat it out of habit, without ever having looked more into it.

Someone might enjoy feeling superior.

Some may be promoting an agenda. 

For example, someone who sells cars might work against high-speed rail projects because they don't want the competition, but they won't give that as the reason. Maybe instead they will propose something that is supposed to be better, but does not hold up on further scrutiny. 

People who don't scrutinize might repeat that one too. Then if there are bot farms repeating things so that more people are hearing them, bad information and ideas can spread.

You do not necessarily have to become an expert on recycling, or any topic, but it is helpful to periodically ask where information is coming from and what interests it might serve.

Even more helpful could be asking about its effect on you.

Does this information tend to make you feel hopeless? Don't accept it too quickly. If hope lies in a different direction than you thought, it's worth seeking it out.

If I decide to give up recycling, do I go back to a bigger trash bin with a higher monthly rate?

Do we want more landfills? Are those beautiful?

It is frustrating that people will repeat things that may be wrong and that don't benefit them, but they still won't give up the ideas.

It may not be possible to fix that, but we do not have to be led by that. 

Beautifully, continuing to think about what works for you can support a happier life and a healthier planet. 

Cleaning up and clearing out: Implementation

One of the things I am studying for school is implementation science. It exists because no matter how clear it is that something is a good idea and should work, changing patterns and habits is hard.

You may want thing to get things tidy and even temporarily accomplish it in a burst of cleaning. Keeping it that way may require deeper changes.

While this was not exactly a clutter issue, we were having an issue with one of my sister's small socks. They would get caught in clothes. Even though I would shake out the clothes and feel through them, somehow there would still be an odd number of socks. Then, at some point a missing sock would fall out of clothing that had been searched earlier, perhaps when it was being put on.

It occurred to me that there are hosiery bags that could resolve this. We got one, but using it wasn't a habit at first; loose socks were still getting caught in clothes.

The step of going from "wearing" to "laundry" was the weak link. It needed to be a matter of putting the socks in the bag right after taking them off, then tossing the bag into the laundry when there were a few pairs.  

It is very satisfying finding the bag now and knowing that any socks that went into the wash stayed together.

I'd say it was silly, but that ended up being the livelisest part of the discussion at the activity. Many households have had sock issues and there are some strong feelings about them!

In some cases, those issues were exacerbated by people who should be capable of putting their own socks away but not doing so. That is a different problem requiring a different solution, but it may need to be combined with an organizational solution.

You have to find things that work for you. There may be perfectly reasonable ideas that only work for other people, and that's okay.

Packing lunch is practical, but using plastic sandwich bags that then get tossed every time does not feel very responsible.

Let's try reusable containers. Well, it worked for one sister, but it does not fit well into the other one's laptop bag. Maybe she needs a different container.

Remember, keeping things that spark joy is different from minimalism. Depending on your tastes, that could result in having a lot of things that might resemble clutter under certain systems.

A shower caddy might work for some memorabilia.

 What if you have Christmas ornaments that you want to display all year? There are options for that.

These are just some thoughts for issues we have run into with these particular people in this particular house. There are lots of differences.

I use the library for books now, but it is generally advised that children should have their own books. Even as adults there are books that we want to refer to sometimes or re-read periodically. 

Trying to get rid of everything isn't the answer. There are different wants and needs, and different solutions that will work with different individuals.  

Back when it seemed like everyone was talking about Marie Kondo, I remember one women realizing that she had a lot of hats and she liked them, but she didn't wear them that often. She changed how she kept her hats so they were easier to spot (a visual reminder) and easier to grab (convenience) and she started wearing her hats more. 

Do what you can to keep your joy in reach.

Cleaning up and clearing out: The 3 Rs

Shortly before the activity, one of my sisters and I had taken a trip to Ridwell for a drop-off. They were taking Styrofoam (extruded polystyrene foam).

That was all we took, because we are rule followers. We did ask about "threads" (cloth remnants that cannot be used as clothing donations or things like that), because there hadn't been a threads collection for a while.

One thing that came out of that conversation was that a lot of people had brought their threads anyway, just hoping.

At least with Ridwell, they are taking the items so can refuse them. Many places sort donations later and may have to discard a lot. "Wishful recycling" may just increase overhead, but sometimes it also requires reporting to the government.

Passing your problem off to someone else does not actually get rid of a problem.

Later, it occurred to me that "fast fashion" is probably a big part of why it is so hard to find someone taking threads now; the places that can process it are full and running behind.

When they say "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle," it is important that it go in that order. Recycling is superior to the landfill, but it has its limitations, especially in a society that keeps producing surplus. Reusing and reducing will do more to keep a clean and healthy environment.

With that in mind, I am sharing the resource list that we sent out after the activity.

First, let me say that it is long because there are so many notes, but that precision is part of not "wishfully" giving someone else a problem while feeling like you did a good thing.

The other part is that there are constant change and updates. Don't be afraid to ask if you are not sure. 

If you need ideas, you can ask us. Part of our threads stash was ribbons, which we took to Scrap because they can be art supplies there. 

Finally, I do not list any sources for shred events for confidential papers like old tax returns. These usually come up as community events sponsored events. You probably don't have to wait too long for the next one, but it's just a different system.

Waste Management: Local trash and recycle pickups.

Recycling guidelines: https://www.wm.com/us/en/recycle-right

Ridwell: Not currently available for pickups in ward boundaries, but here is their mail-in information: https://www.ridwell.com/mail-in

SBC Recycle: 19040 SW Shaw Street Beaverton, OR 97078

Electronic Waste, lightbulbs, batteries, mattress, furniture, etc…

We recycle all electronics waste, most electronics or items with metal do not have a fee

• Computers, Laptops, Tablets, Servers and IT Equipment
• Monitors, Printers, Scanners, Cell phones and telephones
• Fax and Copy Machine, DISH and DirecTV Boxes
• Ink Cartridges, Routers, Hubs, and Modems
• Mouse and Keyboards Cameras, CD Players
• Radio’s, Speakers and Stereos
• TV’s, CD, VCRs and DVD Players
• Remote Controls, Disk and Floppy drives
• Gaming systems and components

… and more, if it has a cord or runs on a battery we will recycle it.

https://www.sbcrecycle.com/

Schoolhouse Supplies: 4916 NE 122nd Ave, Portland, OR 97230 for both Teachers and Students – Donate new or gently used classroom supplies

Schoolhouse Supplies accepts donations of new and gently-used, reusable school, office, and art supplies, and other learning materials that are suitable for classrooms by appointment only. Please check the list of items we currently accept/do not accept below before scheduling your appointment. We update this list frequently based on current inventory and whether items can be safely stocked in our warehouse. We do not accept items that are not suitable for a classroom, or that are broken, damaged, dirty, or in poor condition. If you have any additional questions about what to donate or what we accept, contact us using the email address or phone number listed below!

https://schoolhousesupplies.org/get-involved/donate-supplies

Blanchet House: 310 NW Glisan Portland, OR 97209 Our guests experiencing homelessness need new and gently used clean clothes. We invite you to donate adult-sized, seasonally appropriate clothing. We give out clothing and sleeping essentials during meal services and on an as-needed basis.

ATTENTION: Because we have VERY limited storage space, we can only take the most requested items listed below. We DO NOT accept dress clothes, children’s clothes, linens, or home goods.

https://blanchethouse.org/

Union Gospel Mission:11611 SW Pacific Highway

They accept clean clothes and linen, small home appliances (working), some furniture in good condition (limited capacity), televisions that are no older than five years, musical instruments, books, artwork, pots and pans, and jewelry. Items sold in thrift store provide training for LifeChange recovery program residents and support the program.

SCRAP PDX: 619 SE 6th AVE, Portland, OR  97214 We are a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization whose mission is to inspire creative reuse and environmentally sustainable behavior by providing educational programs and affordable materials to the community. Yarn
Fabric (yardage only, no scraps)
Working Sewing Machines and Sergers
Canvases (new and used)
Sketch Pads
Art Paints (no aerosols or house paint)
Paint Brushes
Jewelry
Beads
Glue (no aerosols)
Tape
National Geographic Magazines
Paper Bags with Handles

https://portland.scrapcreativereuse.org/

Aloha Community Library: 17455 SW Farmington Rd. Ste. 26A Aloha, OR 97007 The Aloha Community Library gratefully accepts donations of books, movies, and music in good condition.

We cannot accept:

• encyclopedias
• Reader’s Digest Condensed
• National Geographic
• VHS or cassette tapes
• items that are damaged, soiled, mildewed, infested, or missing parts

Any items that we are unable to incorporate into the library’s lending collections may go to our sales team to be sold online in our Amazon store or at in-person book sales. All sold items benefit library operations!

https://alohalibrary.org/

Also consider local food pantries, animal rescues, and Health and Human Services agencies. 

Cleaning up and clearing out: That's one way of looking at it

Back when anti-Marie Kondo sentiment was at its height, some started promoting Swedish death cleaning as an alternative.

With this method, there is no cute joy and gratitude and Asian-ness! It gets thrown over for Scandinavian (much whiter) morbid efficiency.  

The philosophy is that you want to spare others from having to clean up your mess. 

Having known multiple adult children who had to go through years' worth of possessions and paperwork, I appreciate that aspect. It has some flaws.

First of all, if you are tidying for yourself, you get rid of a lot of that anyway, but you are doing it for your joy. Wouldn't it be good for you to live in an organized home that is not full of detritus that no one will care about after you're gone?

By that same token, if there are things that you enjoy having around but you know that no one else will care about, shouldn't you be able to enjoy them to the end?

You can still plan ahead. Maybe your figurines can just go in the trash, or to a museum, or to a collector. A joyful tidying process still lets you know what you have and think about what to do with it.

Thinking about others is good, but only prioritizing others can leave you empty and sad, or maybe even bitter.

That can be balanced.

There is one other thing about it.

Based on the articles, Swedish death cleaning is more of a tradition than a philosophy attributed to one person, so you can see different versions.

In some versions, planning for your death means burning any evidence of secrets or problems.

I also know people who have found out devastating things after it was too late to get questions answered. I suggest that a better option is to deal with secrets and difficult communication now rather than destroying the evidence.

The current philosophy is that adopted children should be repeatedly told that they are adopted from the beginning. That way, it is part of their early formation and there is never a traumatic memory of finding out.

That method may have flaws. Regardless, previously there were families who never wanted their children to know, but whose children found out anyway in some manner that doesn't have any cushioning. Maybe it comes out through half siblings popping up through family history sites.

If there is a chance of that happening, clear it up now.

If there was something painful but not understood casting a shadow, clear it up now.

If you wrote journal passages or letters about hating someone, and you realize that you don't hate them anymore, well, maybe burn them, or maybe talk to the person, but do something for healing now.

Thinking about death can be a part of building a good life, but it can't be the only part.  

Cleaning up and clearing out: Changing approaches

Since we did not want to make people feel like contaminants (we wanted to be gentle and affirming), the obvious choice was to focus on Marie Kondo.

Marie Kondo is an organizing consultant and author, who had a Netflix series, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, in 2019.

For a while her name was everywhere and it drew a lot of criticism. I think part of that was racist and some of it was a bristly reaction to tamping down on the urge for more stuff, but some of it was also misunderstanding. Even now I see references to her and "minimalism" but that was never her theme.

Instead, she turned the focus to not what you get rid of, but what you keep, and that what you keep should be the things that spark joy. 

Yes, there is a risk of offending someone when you suggest that they are probably never going to read through that stack of books that has been collecting dust for years, or that they will probably never get back into those "skinny" clothes... the truth can hurt.

It is still beautiful to surround yourself with things that you love and make you happy, and she affirms that it leads to always having enough.

I will give some caveats. Her business started with people whose homes were so cluttered that they were calling in a consultant. That she worked in a densely populated city like Tokyo meant that most of her clients were probably dealing with smaller living spaces than we might have here on the West coast.

So if some of the methods that she uses seem more extreme than you need, that's okay. Just as you will value different things than other people, you may have your own techniques. It is worth figuring out what works for you.

We had four books on display that night (three by Marie Kondo), because even for taking in the information there were different options:

• The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
• The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up: A Magical Story
• Kiki & Jax: The Life-Changing Magic of Friendship   
• The Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room

Can you spot which one is not by her?

On the same topic there are books for children, regular prose books, and a manga.

The manga is my favorite. I think that's because having the story focus on one person, Chieki, and her issues, made it more meaningful. I don't regret reading the others.

Chieki had things that she loved but could not find because of all of the other things in the way. In one scene, she can't find her charging cable and in the process sits on an eyelash curler. 

That did not spark joy. 

There were two things that really stayed with me. 

She'd had a tendency to shape her life around the guys she was interested, especially in regards to the hobbies she had tried (the source of a lot of the clutter). That was embarrassing, but needed to be understood. 

Part of that centered on a portrait of her that she really liked, but also had some sad associations. She was going to discard it, then she couldn't, but then after keeping it overnight she was ready to let it go. 

Maybe they are just "things" or maybe there is more there, and we need to deal it. We will feel better when we have resolved the emotions.

On the flip side, there was an old recipe book that she was sure she would be told to discard, but she couldn't bear to let go. Chieki was all ready to fight for it, but Konmari just said, "Please, keep it."

You may get defensive about your joy; you don't need to be.

Cleaning up and clearing out: Getting started

Technically the two library posts were the real start of the series, but this is about how we got started with the idea. 

There were some difficulties.

Initially we were thinking April... spring... spring cleaning... spring rolls! A plan!

If spring rolls seem like a stretch, they are traditional eating at the Spring Festival. I once helped roll up many for Lao New Year, which was happening in April. I have also seen them described as a delicious "celebration of the season"... it works.

It was also the primary thing that stayed the same. 

Shortly after we'd committed to that theme, an article popped up about more frequent cleaning causing decreased lung function.

https://www.greenmemag.com/health-nutrition/a-hidden-risk-in-daily-cleaning-the-toll-on-womens-lungs/

There's a sexist assumption in the title there, and RFK's CDC is sharing the study, which makes me suspicious, but that didn't seem like a good start.

Then, the night before the activity, April 6th, Maria saw that the day of the activity, April 7th, was National No Housework Day:

https://nationaltoday.com/national-no-housework-day/ 

Come on!

We had been doing some reconfiguring anyway, but it did give a general sense of doom.

Regarding the study, the issue appears to be the harsh chemicals that can be used in cleaning. Conducted in Norway, are their chemicals worse? I don't know.

Regardless, it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to choose between cleanliness and the ability to breathe.

For starters, you can wear a mask when cleaning. You can use more natural products. That can mean purchasing gentler products or following those guides where you just use vinegar and water and maybe some lemon. 

There are options.

It did get me thinking about something else.

In Patricia McLachlan's book, Sarah, Plain and Tall, Sarah blows the hair she cuts out onto the wind so that the birds might take curls and weave them into nests.

Some time ago I was thinking about that and did a search. I found someone really angry about it. That hair will catch the birds feet and they will get stuck and die!

I'm not sure that's true, but someone else said you can compost hair (and dryer lint), and there was more anger: 

Do you color your hair? Those chemicals are bad!

I still have not put hair or dryer lint to compost -- better safe than sorry -- but I find that there are internet comments where anything about feeding wildlife or gardening things like sheet mulching or humans existing in general is just attacked.

There are a couple of problems with that. 

One is that if all you do is yell at people -- especially people looking for good things to do -- they are going to stop listening and maybe even trying.

So when you show the pictures of angel wing in ducks who eat bread thrown to them, if you are shaming humans rather than explaining what you can safely feed them, maybe they will stop feeding ducks altogether, but maybe they will keep feeding them bread because how can you feel confident in these rabidly yelling people who hate you?

The other problem, though, is that I don't think it's very helpful to view yourself and your loved ones as contaminants.

You should think about your impact on those around you -- wild and domesticated -- but it should be possible to believe that you can do some good. 

The Library of Things

Here is an area where I am going to be kind of a hypocrite; I love the concept of the library of things more than I love the library of things itself.

Part of that is me not having much interest in a lot of things; I already own plenty of things and I don't want more. 

However, if I thought that I might want to own something but was not sure, there is a good chance that there would be something I could try through the library.

https://wccls.bibliocommons.com/v2/search?query=library+of+things&searchType=smart 

I could try out a soprano ukulele, or a cake pop maker, or a metal detector.

If there was something I would only need once, like a car dent puller kit, or a shaved ice machine, or a VHS to DVD converter, those are all things I could borrow for that one time.

There are ways in which it is less convenient. Books will get sent to the library you request them at, and can then be turned in at any library in the system. For these items, you need to pick them up and return them to the owning library. 

Many of them would be awkward to ship; I get that.

In addition, if the single use you want is an event with a firm schedule, availability could be an issue. All copies of the backyard movie kit are currently on hold. 

There is an option to put things on hold for later, so that might be something to look into, but it is probably better if your use is flexible.

Where I tend to think it could be most useful is in giving children access to new things, perhaps especially over the summer. 

Try playing with these Magna-tile puzzles.

Let's try some different musical instruments. 

Maybe you will find something you want to commit to, but there are plenty of options to just try. 

The beauty of the library in general is that you have access to things without needing to own them. My primary use for that is books, with occasional DVDs.

It doesn't have to be limited to that. 

https://www.wccls.org/using-library/get-card#mauticform_wrapper_verifyregister 

If nothing else it's just fun to browse. 

Using the library

This is not the series that I was thinking about, but it can be a smaller series.

We are working on an activity that is kind of going to be about spring cleaning, though kind of not. That will take multiple posts, and there are things I do not necessarily want to give away just in case anyone who will come also reads my blog.

Regardless, one thing I was thinking about was how much the library saves.

When I was in school I used the libraries a lot. Once I had graduated it was not as convenient, plus having disposable income was exciting and I bought a lot of books. In addition to the money spent -- some of which was not necessary -- those books still takes up lots and lots of shelf space.

Sometimes I borrow something from the library and decide I want to own it. That is a much better reason for buying something than just thinking a book sounds interesting.

I remembered that once they gave us a year end printout with the number of items we had borrowed and the cumulative value. I thought that could be good information, so I asked about that yesterday.

Actually, if you get a checkout receipt, they always have the amount for that day's pickup. I don't usually get a receipt; I believe in reducing, reusing, and recycling, and it's not like I'm not regularly checking my due dates online. For research, I got the slip:

Today you saved $111.93 by using your library.

That was only five items. (We had just done a pickup on Thursday.) It was mainly picture books, though, and those are pricey.   

They were able to bring up a report for the year-to-date, which also gives the lifetime.

The amount saved for this year, as of March 29th, was $13,954.13. Lifetime was $105,411.07.

Now, I suspect that lifetime amount is only since the Aloha Community Library joined up with Washington County Cooperative Library Services, and also I doubt it counts the inter-library loan books (which we use a lot) as their prices would not be in the system.

Still, it's pretty impressive.

I was thinking about what would happen without the library. We would not spend that much. It wouldn't even be practical. We would certainly buy some, probably including some used, and maybe we would trade with friends, but mostly it would just be fewer books.

Perish the thought! 

It is recommended that children read (have read to them, really) one thousand books before starting kindergarten. Five years is over 1800 days, with daily reading starting early, there is plenty of time. 

Picture books are pricey. 

A child should have books that they own, too, and can get back to, but having a whole library system to choose from is so valuable.

I loved having a variety of books at home, and there are still old favorites, but it is a wonderful thing to have this rotating stock with so much available.

I love the library. Give it a chance and it will love you back.

https://www.wccls.org/using-library/get-card#mauticform_wrapper_verifyregister 

 
Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2014/07/library-memories-part-1.html  

Between themes

I'm really tired and I don't know what to write about.

The good thing about getting one theme is that generally the material starts writing itself, as I remember all of these different aspects to an idea and feel like they should all be explored.

That is not the case today. 

There is something that I have in mind to do, but I am not ready to get started.

It is not impossible that my staying up late last night to finish the next segment of my research paper contributed to the tired body and brain.

I hope that's not going to be too big of a factor, because that's going to be happening a lot.

I'm probably still adjusting to the time change. 

Related posts: 

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2026/03/only-nine-tasks-left.html  

Learning from mistakes

On the main blog I am writing about the BAFTAs. I believe the Tuesday post will be about apologies. Perhaps that is why I have been thinking of this.

Last conference, Elder Rasband spoke about a new chair at University of Utah: The Dr. Russell M. and Dantzel W. Nelson Presidential Chair in Cardiothoracic Surgery.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2025/10/55renlund?lang=eng 

Dr. Selzman, the first person to hold the professorship, had an experience before he accepted it. After a long day, a patient needed to go back into surgery. That meant the long day was going to stretch into the night. Frustrated, he thought...

"On Friday, I will be appointed to a professorship named after Dr. Nelson. He was always known as someone who kept his emotions in check, treated everyone with respect, and never lost his temper. Now that my name will be linked with his, I need to try to be more like him."

Instead of letting that frustration show to his team, he resolved to make a "conscientious effort to be especially supportive and understanding of his team."

That led to not only how he would act, but how that division would train:

“I do what we now teach our trainees to do—focus, get over it, and do the best you can. This ethos lives in us every day."

That is a good ethos, but the story made more of an impact on me because of another story I remembered from a talk two years earlier:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/04/47nelson?lang=eng 

President Nelson spoke of being a surgical intern assisting with an amputation on a leg filled with gangrene.

Another member of the surgical team did something poorly, and the surgeon flew into a temper. The tantrum included throwing the scalpel that would have been full of germs. While it had not been specifically aimed, the scalpel landed in Dr. Nelson's forearm. 

That was a breach of good practice, and everyone was horrified except, apparently, the offending surgeon. President Nelson said...

"Gratefully, I did not become infected. But this experience left a lasting impression on me. In that very hour, I promised myself that whatever happened in my operating room, I would never lose control of my emotions. I also vowed that day never to throw anything in anger—whether it be scalpels or words."

It would be wonderful to think that President Nelson would have had that attitude and patience anyway, but we can learn from an other's mistakes. He saw not only a bad example, and something that shouldn't have happened, but he also faced an actual danger from it. 

With him mentioning specifically that everyone was horrified except the surgeon, I assume there was no apology. Probably the surgeon went back to the procedure and everyone else had to go along with it; that was the person in charge and you do have a patient there who needs the surgery continued.

When someone is potentially at the risk of dangerous infection because of your recklessness and lack of control, that seems like a reasonable time to apologize. That would not have to cause a long delay either. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Will you please help him and then you please give me a new scalpel?" 

I am sure that they did continue the surgery and I hope someone helped with the new wound. It wouldn't take too long to at least pay tribute to doing the right thing. 

The problem is that comes with an admission of guilt.

I don't know that there was nothing learned by that surgeon either. Maybe he was gentler with his staff in the future, or maybe he would still periodically hurl verbal abuse but never, ever threw another scalpel. You can quietly affirm to do better.

I worry, though, that not openly admitting fault makes it less likely that you will inwardly admit the need for change, and then make the change.

That's why these non-apologies -- I am sorry if you were offended, if you got your feelings hurt, if you misunderstood -- don't satisfy. There is not discomfort with the wrong; just discomfort that other people noticed.

There is so much room for improvement.

This should be really obvious but...

There has been a genre of horror movies where people try to prevent the End of Days by doing something to stop the Antichrist.

I had always thought those missed the point; it's not something we can prevent, but that's okay.

This may be a good time to back up and say what Latter-Day Saints believe. We believe that there will be growing wickedness and natural disasters -- things like you would read about in Revelation -- but then Christ will return and usher in 1000 years of peace. 

We refer to the 1000 years as the Millennium. During this time people are resurrected and various things are healed. For example, my mother's first two children were born prematurely and died; we believe that she will get a chance to raise them. Also we believe there will be lots of temple work, going along with people getting the chances that they didn't have before. 

These are generally thought of as good times, though I know people who are worried it will be the end of fun. I don't think righteousness across the Earth means that there can't be roller coasters and rock concerts, so that doesn't worry me a lot.

That being said, worrying about plagues and wars and earthquakes can be scary. I get people not looking forward to that part, though you could easily look around and say "Worse than this?"

And yes, at least for us, because even though I am aware of terrible things, I am sheltered from a lot of it. I imagine a lot of those buffers falling away. 

From a spirituality/faith standpoint, those beliefs do keep me from total despair, though there are frequent waves of anger, sadness, and frustration.

Here's the thing that should be obvious, but maybe I am wrong...

WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONES CREATING THE PLAGUES AND THE WARS AND THE SUFFERING!

Just because there are apparently some higher-ups in the "Department of War" that don't get that.

First of all, Matthew 18:7

Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!  

Revelation mentions the AntiChrist and the Beast, but that doesn't make them heroes.

Remember also the parables given in Matthew 25 as an accompaniment to talking about end times. They are parables given about those who are looking for His return. They talk about preparedness, but that preparedness is a matter of accumulating spiritual light, developing your abilities productively (which could be interpreted in a capitalist light if you don't take it in conjunction with all of the other scriptures), and especially feeding, clothing, visiting, and helping others.

Seriously, we are supposed to be feeding children; not bombing them.

I know you hear all of those stories about people who find the scriptures really wimpy but somehow think that's a different book... it's weird to me, but I believe it happens.

However, if you think bringing on the Second Coming is a good thing, and something you want to work toward, then please spend some time reading up on that would entail. 

Remember what is written before those parables, in Matthew 24:22:

And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect’s sake those days shall be shortened. 

It's not a laughing matter. It's not some macho fantasy. There are hard times right now, that we can expect to get worse, and we are called to make those times easier and alleviate suffering. 

I know Raiders of the Lost Ark is fiction, but there is something real in the idea of Nazis thinking that if they wore the right outfits and said the right words they could have the power and glory.

Try and live in such a way that you don't deserve to have your face (and the rest of you) melted. 

Feed someone

Several times in February I saw a quote from Fred Hampton about how feeding people scares people.

As I had been posting daily quotes from Black people for Black History Month, I kept trying to find a source of the full quote so I could use it. 

I never found that one. I suspect that someone cleaned it up; maybe the original had references to "pigs" and "socialism" that might have sounded undermining in its aggression. (I have some sympathy for that.) 

I used a different quote from Hampton, but I keep thinking about that other one. 

On the surface, feeding people should not be remarkably subversive. In fact, many places have tried passing laws against it. These are sometimes done in the name of public health or safety, but it's more commonly about the public nuisance of allowing unhoused people to be visible and treated like they matter.

In fact, one of the bans was legally opposed with the assertion that feeding the homeless is a form of protest, and therefore constitutionally protected.

https://legalclarity.org/when-is-feeding-the-homeless-considered-illegal/ 

I had been irritated recently by an old reference to feeding "the worthy poor" as a Christian obligation. 

I see no indications that Christ made any stipulations about worthiness. 

The multitudes were fed because they were there. That they were there listening might indicate some worthiness, but in John 6 Jesus admonishes some for seeking him out because of the bread, then urges them to seek for "that meat which endureth unto everlasting life..."

He did still encourage them toward the spiritual, but that was not a condition for food.

In expounding on the parable of the sheep and the goats in Matthew 25, we are told that if we have done it unto one of the least of these, we have done it to Him. Likewise, if we have withheld it from one of the least of these, we have withheld it from Him.

There can indeed be variations in someone's level of worthiness, but they do not serve as a cutoff level for assistance.

Finally, from Mosiah 4:

17 Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—

18 But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.

19 For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

Eating is such a basic, recurring need that meal trains are the Relief Society go-to when people encounter any type of problem, even if that would not be the preference.

Feeding people also brings up such weird discussions when people get into preparing food versus ordering food and whether poor people have a right to have food preferences or whether getting poor children fed is important enough to give free lunches to the kids who don't need them.

Truly, people willingly display their worst impulses on this topic, no matter how much they try and cover with appeals to logic, the importance of work, and nutrition. Really, what they seem to want is to consolidate the existing hierarchy.

So, yes, just giving people food is subversive. 

The Aloha Community Library has a Share Space where donated food and personal items are available.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1299509918885741&set=pb.100064802343597.-2207520000&type=3 

I love that, and that there is no red tape or obstacles to people taking what is needed. We donate to it, but there are two things that are frustrating..

One is that they have had to request more than once that they don't get expired items. It comes up on a regular basis, including one from 2003!

The other is that most items go out on the same day they are donated.  

That confirms that it is needed, but also indicates that the demand is greater than the supply.

Of course there are other places to give, and donations like that are not the only way to give. 

Taking a treat to someone, or a meal or a gift card for a restaurant or delivery service... there are lots of ways to feed people that can address physical and emotional needs. 

Doing so also helps keep our hearts right.

Looking around, there is a great need for that.

Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2024/08/even-worse.html  

Adapting and evolving

Looking back, it amazes me how long this has been going on.

I think my mother's first official diagnosis was in 2013, though there were signs at least as early as late 2010.

A lot of people don't spend this long with Alzheimer's disease because something else takes them first. There was a time when I hoped that would be the case, so that some of the parts that really hurt wouldn't happen.

We don't get to choose, and that's how it needs to be.

You can choose how you react, adapting to meet the needs as they come.

I have mentioned (probably more in the main blog) that there were times when we had real clarity.

It was clear when she needed someone to stay with her, and that it was going to be me. It was also clear when staying in the home was no longer working, so we needed to look at a memory care facility.

Those were both big decisions, so I was grateful for the clarity.

It was more common that there would be a shift in abilities, therefore in what worked to help Mom. Sometimes the change was very subtle, so maybe sometimes when it seemed sudden, it just hadn't been noticed previously.

There was a time when leaving notes to keep her on task worked, and a time when that stopped.

There was a time when she was safe to drive, because while she was not committing new things to memory, her existing memories were intact. When it wasn't safe anymore, I don't even think it was that she was losing her memories yet, but it was easier for her to lose her place and harder for her to recover from that. 

There was a time period when every afternoon I would wrap her in warm blankets and bring her a cup of cocoa and that made her very happy. I was sad when that phase ended, because it satisfied her so much with so little effort. Plus, I needed to find my way as a caregiver again. When one thing stops working, it is not always immediately clear what the next solution will be.

As I pulled out my song lyrics today, I noticed that the print date was from April. That's when I started singing to her, thinking it would work. It's been about ten months.

That's actually a pretty long phase, except there was starting to be less response. Today she responded more. I have no idea why.

I have not had any control over the course of this disease, but there have been meaningful moments and I have learned things. I believe I have become more patient and sensitive, though that may not always be obvious.

My acceptance of how much we do not control but how that is ultimately what is needed? That's from this. It could have come some other way, but this has been my path.

I am also more aware of the choices that we do have, and the way they matter.

I am not great with change, actually, and I really don't like moving.

There have been two blessings that I really appreciate for things that I have not had to deal with.

We moved to this house when I was six, and it is still home. On my mission, I only had two areas, with very few transfers: Fresno to Modesto and then back to Fresno.

Of course, there were three different apartment moves in Fresno. Regardless, I have had pretty good stability in terms of where my home base has been. 

Other things have changed a lot more, sometimes feeling very unstable. 

Without saying that I have never rebelled, I have been able to adapt. 

Reading all of the standard works in one year

I am trying to move away from writing about grief. 

The tricky part is that I am not sure that I am done with it. First of all, Mom is still alive, so I know there is another chapter. In addition, I realized I have another question or two that I need to answer for myself. I hope I get that done before.

Without being quite ready to start something new, this is an easy one to go over in case anyone is curious.

I decided I wanted to read in each of the books weekly, so the first thing I did was take the number of pages of each and divide by 52.

Well, that doesn't work great for the Pearl of Great Price, and the Old Testament is definitely the longest, so this is what I am doing:

Monday: 8 pages in the Old Testament
Tuesday: 8 pages in the New Testament
Wednesday: 8 pages in the Old Testament
Thursday: 10 pages in The Book of Mormon 
Friday: 8 pages in the Old Testament
Saturday: 6 pages in the Doctrine and Covenants

Sunday was going to be more for Sunday School reading, so that I was still keeping up, but it has ended up being for different things.

For example, there are 60 pages in the Pearl of Great Price. Instead of reading about one page per week, I started with the first five chapters of Moses, then read through to where Enoch would be in the Old Testament, read the rest of Moses, went through to Abraham, and read Abraham. 

Those nights were more than ten pages, but it felt like it could be reasonably done in one night. I think it worked.

That started mostly as a coincidence. The first Sunday night I was not starting anything yet, so I thought I would just get Moses 1-5 out of the way.

I am sure there will be times when my Sunday reading will relate to the Gospel Doctrine lesson, but they are still in Genesis so I feel like I am doing okay.

I have also given different weeks to catching up. For example, I read an extra ten pages in The Book of Mormon one week, because there are 530 pages and a reasonable schedule will leave me with extra pages at the end of the year. Also, I started the Doctrine and Covenants with Joseph Smith History (more Pearl of Great Price reading) and the testimonies of the three and eight witnesses, so I needed a few extra pages there.

I have also used the extra nights to re-read Revelation because I was trying to find something. A project like this stirs memory and raises questions; the chance to explore is good.

I am getting a lot of ideas for other areas of focus; we will see what happens in future years. For now, I like how this is working out.

In addition to getting ideas from spending time in all of the works, I am getting ideas from Ensign reading too, which is going much better.

Reading a few articles daily as opposed to a whole issue Saturday gets you through the magazines at the same rate, but it feels completely different and much better. 

That is one other thing that should be working better. While I have learned a lot from various readings of the Old Testament, there are places where I get bogged down. Now looking at the building of the tabernacle, only reading eight pages per day and doing something else the next day has made it much better. I expect this to continue through Leviticus and Numbers... the rest of the Pentateuch, actually.

It will also really help with Psalms.

So this is working out. I have had some pretty ambitious goals for things I wanted to study, and finding that I can achieve them makes many other things look possible. 

Processing a loss

The first thing I need to note is that I have not ruled out doing a multi-part series on a different Joy Harjo poem, "For Calling the Spirit Back from Wandering the Earth in its Human Feet." 

Harjo has multiple poems that I have found extremely helpful and moving. 

In "Washing My Mother's Body", she was not able to do so physically, so she goes back in mind and imagines the process. 

The poem had made me feel that there would be something lost if I was not able to do wash and dress my mother's body. I worked out that other things mattered more, but was there still something to learn about her mental process?

She starts that she is doing it because of 

          "what needs to be fixed
 so that my spirit can move on

                So that the children
                  and grandchildren
       are not caught in a know of regret they do not understand."

Perhaps the first important thing is that this does appear to be for the living.

Then the memories start to come. 

They come from physical objects, like using a pan that her mother used for washing babies, now to wash her mother with the care that you would give an infant.

There are memories of the dresses. Her mother bought a lot of them, but that was because as a child she only had one dress that she had to wash out each night.

Had she always realized that was the case, and was remembering it once more? Or had some truths just started to become clear?

There is another pot there, that had come from her mother's mother. Generations are connected in legacy.

That includes Harjo's memories of raising her children. 

There are memories of things that could be trivial, like her mother being shuffleboard queen at a local bar.

There are more serious memories, like a scar that happened when her mother was burned at work because her boss wouldn't listen.

There were memories of how hard she worked for her children.

      "The story is
      all there,
      in her body,
      as I wash her 
      to prepare her..."

She finishes the washing and brushes her mother's hair, kisses her forehead, and is wishing her off on her journey. Commending her to angels, she remembers a last bit of her favorite perfume. 

So many little things come back and seem so important. 

   "and then I let her go."

On the other blog I have been writing about these songs I have put together and how they relate to my mother's life and our relationship. 

I did have a very long journal session writing about her life, but then I would write about the songs -- first in the journal, then in the blog -- going over the details again and again.

In fact, I did make connections I had not realized before, including similarities we have that I might not have realized.

I don't want to be caught in regret. 

I have tried to live in a way that would not lead to lots of regrets, but under examination things can come together or fall apart. 

Things have been coming together. 

We can bury or burn our dead (there are additional options now). 

We can try burying our feelings or burning relationships. That can be harder to successfully pull off.

A final beautiful reminder from going over the poem again is that its okay if you didn't do it at the time. You can still go back to remember and release.

Or my way; trying to have it all done in advance.

There's still another step, I think, which will be drafting an obituary for her. 

Two visits ago, it felt like a real possibility that I might not see her again. Then I saw her yesterday and I am pretty sure there will be another visit. 

I have to assume when it is the last visit that I will not know, but that's true most of the time.

Tell people you love them. Live with openness and integrity. 

Don't stay caught in knots of regret.

Related posts:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2026/01/the-high-cost-of-dying-part-3.html  

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2026/02/january-daily-songs.html 

The times, they are a-changin'

This is still about death, though differently. 

(Also -- spoiler alert -- I am pretty sure there will be another post about grief.)

As part of the cost-of-dying posts, I had mentioned various traditions, with some thoughts about where they come from and whether they still serve.

Once upon a time it was very normal that people would place obituaries in the newspaper. 

They would also put wedding announcements with pictures, and sometimes even anniversary announcements. 

As a child I did not look at the obituaries much, but I remembered looking at the brides to see if there was anyone we knew, and if the dresses were nice... things like that. 

I did not realize that these were paid, like want ads and personals; it was just how things were done.

Of course, at the time we were also getting a daily newspaper in print. When that stopped, I missed the comics and crosswords more than I missed the wedding announcements. 

One thing with the obituaries is that if it was someone I knew, I wanted to know that it happened and how and details about their life. When I did look, it was mostly strangers.

It wasn't particularly efficient for keeping tabs on people that you knew but with whom you did not regularly cross paths. 

Social media is more efficient.

It still has drawbacks. Some people don't get on much or post much. There are things about how the algorithm pushes the feeds where a lot of people find it alienating. Still, I know more about people with it than without it, and I do like and care about people.

When my mother dies, I am going to post an obituary on her Facebook page. 

She has one. It was something that I thought could be kind of therapeutic in the early days of the onset of her dementia. It didn't work out. However, we have enough friends in common -- and maybe I should tag my siblings and self -- that it will get the word out to some. 

I've mentioned already that there is a plan for contacting various friends and relatives directly, but for the general news, I think that's a reasonable way of doing it.

Most funeral homes have online obituaries now, though there is a cost for that too. (There is also a cost for CaringBridge for updates on illnesses. I guess it makes sense but I don't like that.) 

I believe the newspapers still post obituaries, though I suspect the reach is much lower.

For our circumstances, I think Facebook is the best source for a general notification. The personal notifications will include phone calls, e-mail messages, Facebook direct messages, texts, and maybe even the regular post. Those are all based on how often we communicate with the people involved and how we normally communicate, but also how much of a blow it will be so how much cushioning it will need.

That list includes neighbors where I could easily run across the street, but I am assuming I will be falling apart and won't want to carry that outdoors.

That is connecting to others on a very specific subject, but a lot of different types of relationships and methods of communication come into play.

My main point is that things don't happen the way they used to, so I can't simply follow old patterns.

Some of these ways may even be better, but it takes thinking about it to find how to go forward.