Cleaning up and clearing out: Changing approaches

Since we did not want to make people feel like contaminants (we wanted to be gentle and affirming), the obvious choice was to focus on Marie Kondo.

Marie Kondo is an organizing consultant and author, who had a Netflix series, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, in 2019.

For a while her name was everywhere and it drew a lot of criticism. I think part of that was racist and some of it was a bristly reaction to tamping down on the urge for more stuff, but some of it was also misunderstanding. Even now I see references to her and "minimalism" but that was never her theme.

Instead, she turned the focus to not what you get rid of, but what you keep, and that what you keep should be the things that spark joy. 

Yes, there is a risk of offending someone when you suggest that they are probably never going to read through that stack of books that has been collecting dust for years, or that they will probably never get back into those "skinny" clothes... the truth can hurt.

It is still beautiful to surround yourself with things that you love and make you happy, and she affirms that it leads to always having enough.

I will give some caveats. Her business started with people whose homes were so cluttered that they were calling in a consultant. That she worked in a densely populated city like Tokyo meant that most of her clients were probably dealing with smaller living spaces than we might have here on the West coast.

So if some of the methods that she uses seem more extreme than you need, that's okay. Just as you will value different things than other people, you may have your own techniques. It is worth figuring out what works for you.

We had four books on display that night (three by Marie Kondo), because even for taking in the information there were different options:

• The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
• The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up: A Magical Story
• Kiki & Jax: The Life-Changing Magic of Friendship   
• The Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room

Can you spot which one is not by her?

On the same topic there are books for children, regular prose books, and a manga.

The manga is my favorite. I think that's because having the story focus on one person, Chieki, and her issues, made it more meaningful. I don't regret reading the others.

Chieki had things that she loved but could not find because of all of the other things in the way. In one scene, she can't find her charging cable and in the process sits on an eyelash curler. 

That did not spark joy. 

There were two things that really stayed with me. 

She'd had a tendency to shape her life around the guys she was interested, especially in regards to the hobbies she had tried (the source of a lot of the clutter). That was embarrassing, but needed to be understood. 

Part of that centered on a portrait of her that she really liked, but also had some sad associations. She was going to discard it, then she couldn't, but then after keeping it overnight she was ready to let it go. 

Maybe they are just "things" or maybe there is more there, and we need to deal it. We will feel better when we have resolved the emotions.

On the flip side, there was an old recipe book that she was sure she would be told to discard, but she couldn't bear to let go. Chieki was all ready to fight for it, but Konmari just said, "Please, keep it."

You may get defensive about your joy; you don't need to be.

Cleaning up and clearing out: Getting started

Technically the two library posts were the real start of the series, but this is about how we got started with the idea. 

There were some difficulties.

Initially we were thinking April... spring... spring cleaning... spring rolls! A plan!

If spring rolls seem like a stretch, they are traditional eating at the Spring Festival. I once helped roll up many for Lao New Year, which was happening in April. I have also seen them described as a delicious "celebration of the season"... it works.

It was also the primary thing that stayed the same. 

Shortly after we'd committed to that theme, an article popped up about more frequent cleaning causing decreased lung function.

https://www.greenmemag.com/health-nutrition/a-hidden-risk-in-daily-cleaning-the-toll-on-womens-lungs/

There's a sexist assumption in the title there, and RFK's CDC is sharing the study, which makes me suspicious, but that didn't seem like a good start.

Then, the night before the activity, April 6th, Maria saw that the day of the activity, April 7th, was National No Housework Day:

https://nationaltoday.com/national-no-housework-day/ 

Come on!

We had been doing some reconfiguring anyway, but it did give a general sense of doom.

Regarding the study, the issue appears to be the harsh chemicals that can be used in cleaning. Conducted in Norway, are their chemicals worse? I don't know.

Regardless, it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to choose between cleanliness and the ability to breathe.

For starters, you can wear a mask when cleaning. You can use more natural products. That can mean purchasing gentler products or following those guides where you just use vinegar and water and maybe some lemon. 

There are options.

It did get me thinking about something else.

In Patricia McLachlan's book, Sarah, Plain and Tall, Sarah blows the hair she cuts out onto the wind so that the birds might take curls and weave them into nests.

Some time ago I was thinking about that and did a search. I found someone really angry about it. That hair will catch the birds feet and they will get stuck and die!

I'm not sure that's true, but someone else said you can compost hair (and dryer lint), and there was more anger: 

Do you color your hair? Those chemicals are bad!

I still have not put hair or dryer lint to compost -- better safe than sorry -- but I find that there are internet comments where anything about feeding wildlife or gardening things like sheet mulching or humans existing in general is just attacked.

There are a couple of problems with that. 

One is that if all you do is yell at people -- especially people looking for good things to do -- they are going to stop listening and maybe even trying.

So when you show the pictures of angel wing in ducks who eat bread thrown to them, if you are shaming humans rather than explaining what you can safely feed them, maybe they will stop feeding ducks altogether, but maybe they will keep feeding them bread because how can you feel confident in these rabidly yelling people who hate you?

The other problem, though, is that I don't think it's very helpful to view yourself and your loved ones as contaminants.

You should think about your impact on those around you -- wild and domesticated -- but it should be possible to believe that you can do some good. 

The Library of Things

Here is an area where I am going to be kind of a hypocrite; I love the concept of the library of things more than I love the library of things itself.

Part of that is me not having much interest in a lot of things; I already own plenty of things and I don't want more. 

However, if I thought that I might want to own something but was not sure, there is a good chance that there would be something I could try through the library.

https://wccls.bibliocommons.com/v2/search?query=library+of+things&searchType=smart 

I could try out a soprano ukulele, or a cake pop maker, or a metal detector.

If there was something I would only need once, like a car dent puller kit, or a shaved ice machine, or a VHS to DVD converter, those are all things I could borrow for that one time.

There are ways in which it is less convenient. Books will get sent to the library you request them at, and can then be turned in at any library in the system. For these items, you need to pick them up and return them to the owning library. 

Many of them would be awkward to ship; I get that.

In addition, if the single use you want is an event with a firm schedule, availability could be an issue. All copies of the backyard movie kit are currently on hold. 

There is an option to put things on hold for later, so that might be something to look into, but it is probably better if your use is flexible.

Where I tend to think it could be most useful is in giving children access to new things, perhaps especially over the summer. 

Try playing with these Magna-tile puzzles.

Let's try some different musical instruments. 

Maybe you will find something you want to commit to, but there are plenty of options to just try. 

The beauty of the library in general is that you have access to things without needing to own them. My primary use for that is books, with occasional DVDs.

It doesn't have to be limited to that. 

https://www.wccls.org/using-library/get-card#mauticform_wrapper_verifyregister 

If nothing else it's just fun to browse.