Cleaning up and clearing out: Changing approaches

Since we did not want to make people feel like contaminants (we wanted to be gentle and affirming), the obvious choice was to focus on Marie Kondo.

Marie Kondo is an organizing consultant and author, who had a Netflix series, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, in 2019.

For a while her name was everywhere and it drew a lot of criticism. I think part of that was racist and some of it was a bristly reaction to tamping down on the urge for more stuff, but some of it was also misunderstanding. Even now I see references to her and "minimalism" but that was never her theme.

Instead, she turned the focus to not what you get rid of, but what you keep, and that what you keep should be the things that spark joy. 

Yes, there is a risk of offending someone when you suggest that they are probably never going to read through that stack of books that has been collecting dust for years, or that they will probably never get back into those "skinny" clothes... the truth can hurt.

It is still beautiful to surround yourself with things that you love and make you happy, and she affirms that it leads to always having enough.

I will give some caveats. Her business started with people whose homes were so cluttered that they were calling in a consultant. That she worked in a densely populated city like Tokyo meant that most of her clients were probably dealing with smaller living spaces than we might have here on the West coast.

So if some of the methods that she uses seem more extreme than you need, that's okay. Just as you will value different things than other people, you may have your own techniques. It is worth figuring out what works for you.

We had four books on display that night (three by Marie Kondo), because even for taking in the information there were different options:

• The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
• The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up: A Magical Story
• Kiki & Jax: The Life-Changing Magic of Friendship   
• The Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room

Can you spot which one is not by her?

On the same topic there are books for children, regular prose books, and a manga.

The manga is my favorite. I think that's because having the story focus on one person, Chieki, and her issues, made it more meaningful. I don't regret reading the others.

Chieki had things that she loved but could not find because of all of the other things in the way. In one scene, she can't find her charging cable and in the process sits on an eyelash curler. 

That did not spark joy. 

There were two things that really stayed with me. 

She'd had a tendency to shape her life around the guys she was interested, especially in regards to the hobbies she had tried (the source of a lot of the clutter). That was embarrassing, but needed to be understood. 

Part of that centered on a portrait of her that she really liked, but also had some sad associations. She was going to discard it, then she couldn't, but then after keeping it overnight she was ready to let it go. 

Maybe they are just "things" or maybe there is more there, and we need to deal it. We will feel better when we have resolved the emotions.

On the flip side, there was an old recipe book that she was sure she would be told to discard, but she couldn't bear to let go. Chieki was all ready to fight for it, but Konmari just said, "Please, keep it."

You may get defensive about your joy; you don't need to be.

Cleaning up and clearing out: Getting started

Technically the two library posts were the real start of the series, but this is about how we got started with the idea. 

There were some difficulties.

Initially we were thinking April... spring... spring cleaning... spring rolls! A plan!

If spring rolls seem like a stretch, they are traditional eating at the Spring Festival. I once helped roll up many for Lao New Year, which was happening in April. I have also seen them described as a delicious "celebration of the season"... it works.

It was also the primary thing that stayed the same. 

Shortly after we'd committed to that theme, an article popped up about more frequent cleaning causing decreased lung function.

https://www.greenmemag.com/health-nutrition/a-hidden-risk-in-daily-cleaning-the-toll-on-womens-lungs/

There's a sexist assumption in the title there, and RFK's CDC is sharing the study, which makes me suspicious, but that didn't seem like a good start.

Then, the night before the activity, April 6th, Maria saw that the day of the activity, April 7th, was National No Housework Day:

https://nationaltoday.com/national-no-housework-day/ 

Come on!

We had been doing some reconfiguring anyway, but it did give a general sense of doom.

Regarding the study, the issue appears to be the harsh chemicals that can be used in cleaning. Conducted in Norway, are their chemicals worse? I don't know.

Regardless, it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to choose between cleanliness and the ability to breathe.

For starters, you can wear a mask when cleaning. You can use more natural products. That can mean purchasing gentler products or following those guides where you just use vinegar and water and maybe some lemon. 

There are options.

It did get me thinking about something else.

In Patricia McLachlan's book, Sarah, Plain and Tall, Sarah blows the hair she cuts out onto the wind so that the birds might take curls and weave them into nests.

Some time ago I was thinking about that and did a search. I found someone really angry about it. That hair will catch the birds feet and they will get stuck and die!

I'm not sure that's true, but someone else said you can compost hair (and dryer lint), and there was more anger: 

Do you color your hair? Those chemicals are bad!

I still have not put hair or dryer lint to compost -- better safe than sorry -- but I find that there are internet comments where anything about feeding wildlife or gardening things like sheet mulching or humans existing in general is just attacked.

There are a couple of problems with that. 

One is that if all you do is yell at people -- especially people looking for good things to do -- they are going to stop listening and maybe even trying.

So when you show the pictures of angel wing in ducks who eat bread thrown to them, if you are shaming humans rather than explaining what you can safely feed them, maybe they will stop feeding ducks altogether, but maybe they will keep feeding them bread because how can you feel confident in these rabidly yelling people who hate you?

The other problem, though, is that I don't think it's very helpful to view yourself and your loved ones as contaminants.

You should think about your impact on those around you -- wild and domesticated -- but it should be possible to believe that you can do some good. 

The Library of Things

Here is an area where I am going to be kind of a hypocrite; I love the concept of the library of things more than I love the library of things itself.

Part of that is me not having much interest in a lot of things; I already own plenty of things and I don't want more. 

However, if I thought that I might want to own something but was not sure, there is a good chance that there would be something I could try through the library.

https://wccls.bibliocommons.com/v2/search?query=library+of+things&searchType=smart 

I could try out a soprano ukulele, or a cake pop maker, or a metal detector.

If there was something I would only need once, like a car dent puller kit, or a shaved ice machine, or a VHS to DVD converter, those are all things I could borrow for that one time.

There are ways in which it is less convenient. Books will get sent to the library you request them at, and can then be turned in at any library in the system. For these items, you need to pick them up and return them to the owning library. 

Many of them would be awkward to ship; I get that.

In addition, if the single use you want is an event with a firm schedule, availability could be an issue. All copies of the backyard movie kit are currently on hold. 

There is an option to put things on hold for later, so that might be something to look into, but it is probably better if your use is flexible.

Where I tend to think it could be most useful is in giving children access to new things, perhaps especially over the summer. 

Try playing with these Magna-tile puzzles.

Let's try some different musical instruments. 

Maybe you will find something you want to commit to, but there are plenty of options to just try. 

The beauty of the library in general is that you have access to things without needing to own them. My primary use for that is books, with occasional DVDs.

It doesn't have to be limited to that. 

https://www.wccls.org/using-library/get-card#mauticform_wrapper_verifyregister 

If nothing else it's just fun to browse. 

Using the library

This is not the series that I was thinking about, but it can be a smaller series.

We are working on an activity that is kind of going to be about spring cleaning, though kind of not. That will take multiple posts, and there are things I do not necessarily want to give away just in case anyone who will come also reads my blog.

Regardless, one thing I was thinking about was how much the library saves.

When I was in school I used the libraries a lot. Once I had graduated it was not as convenient, plus having disposable income was exciting and I bought a lot of books. In addition to the money spent -- some of which was not necessary -- those books still takes up lots and lots of shelf space.

Sometimes I borrow something from the library and decide I want to own it. That is a much better reason for buying something than just thinking a book sounds interesting.

I remembered that once they gave us a year end printout with the number of items we had borrowed and the cumulative value. I thought that could be good information, so I asked about that yesterday.

Actually, if you get a checkout receipt, they always have the amount for that day's pickup. I don't usually get a receipt; I believe in reducing, reusing, and recycling, and it's not like I'm not regularly checking my due dates online. For research, I got the slip:

Today you saved $111.93 by using your library.

That was only five items. (We had just done a pickup on Thursday.) It was mainly picture books, though, and those are pricey.   

They were able to bring up a report for the year-to-date, which also gives the lifetime.

The amount saved for this year, as of March 29th, was $13,954.13. Lifetime was $105,411.07.

Now, I suspect that lifetime amount is only since the Aloha Community Library joined up with Washington County Cooperative Library Services, and also I doubt it counts the inter-library loan books (which we use a lot) as their prices would not be in the system.

Still, it's pretty impressive.

I was thinking about what would happen without the library. We would not spend that much. It wouldn't even be practical. We would certainly buy some, probably including some used, and maybe we would trade with friends, but mostly it would just be fewer books.

Perish the thought! 

It is recommended that children read (have read to them, really) one thousand books before starting kindergarten. Five years is over 1800 days, with daily reading starting early, there is plenty of time. 

Picture books are pricey. 

A child should have books that they own, too, and can get back to, but having a whole library system to choose from is so valuable.

I loved having a variety of books at home, and there are still old favorites, but it is a wonderful thing to have this rotating stock with so much available.

I love the library. Give it a chance and it will love you back.

https://www.wccls.org/using-library/get-card#mauticform_wrapper_verifyregister 

 
Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2014/07/library-memories-part-1.html  

Between themes

I'm really tired and I don't know what to write about.

The good thing about getting one theme is that generally the material starts writing itself, as I remember all of these different aspects to an idea and feel like they should all be explored.

That is not the case today. 

There is something that I have in mind to do, but I am not ready to get started.

It is not impossible that my staying up late last night to finish the next segment of my research paper contributed to the tired body and brain.

I hope that's not going to be too big of a factor, because that's going to be happening a lot.

I'm probably still adjusting to the time change. 

Related posts: 

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2026/03/only-nine-tasks-left.html  

Learning from mistakes

On the main blog I am writing about the BAFTAs. I believe the Tuesday post will be about apologies. Perhaps that is why I have been thinking of this.

Last conference, Elder Rasband spoke about a new chair at University of Utah: The Dr. Russell M. and Dantzel W. Nelson Presidential Chair in Cardiothoracic Surgery.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2025/10/55renlund?lang=eng 

Dr. Selzman, the first person to hold the professorship, had an experience before he accepted it. After a long day, a patient needed to go back into surgery. That meant the long day was going to stretch into the night. Frustrated, he thought...

"On Friday, I will be appointed to a professorship named after Dr. Nelson. He was always known as someone who kept his emotions in check, treated everyone with respect, and never lost his temper. Now that my name will be linked with his, I need to try to be more like him."

Instead of letting that frustration show to his team, he resolved to make a "conscientious effort to be especially supportive and understanding of his team."

That led to not only how he would act, but how that division would train:

“I do what we now teach our trainees to do—focus, get over it, and do the best you can. This ethos lives in us every day."

That is a good ethos, but the story made more of an impact on me because of another story I remembered from a talk two years earlier:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/04/47nelson?lang=eng 

President Nelson spoke of being a surgical intern assisting with an amputation on a leg filled with gangrene.

Another member of the surgical team did something poorly, and the surgeon flew into a temper. The tantrum included throwing the scalpel that would have been full of germs. While it had not been specifically aimed, the scalpel landed in Dr. Nelson's forearm. 

That was a breach of good practice, and everyone was horrified except, apparently, the offending surgeon. President Nelson said...

"Gratefully, I did not become infected. But this experience left a lasting impression on me. In that very hour, I promised myself that whatever happened in my operating room, I would never lose control of my emotions. I also vowed that day never to throw anything in anger—whether it be scalpels or words."

It would be wonderful to think that President Nelson would have had that attitude and patience anyway, but we can learn from an other's mistakes. He saw not only a bad example, and something that shouldn't have happened, but he also faced an actual danger from it. 

With him mentioning specifically that everyone was horrified except the surgeon, I assume there was no apology. Probably the surgeon went back to the procedure and everyone else had to go along with it; that was the person in charge and you do have a patient there who needs the surgery continued.

When someone is potentially at the risk of dangerous infection because of your recklessness and lack of control, that seems like a reasonable time to apologize. That would not have to cause a long delay either. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Will you please help him and then you please give me a new scalpel?" 

I am sure that they did continue the surgery and I hope someone helped with the new wound. It wouldn't take too long to at least pay tribute to doing the right thing. 

The problem is that comes with an admission of guilt.

I don't know that there was nothing learned by that surgeon either. Maybe he was gentler with his staff in the future, or maybe he would still periodically hurl verbal abuse but never, ever threw another scalpel. You can quietly affirm to do better.

I worry, though, that not openly admitting fault makes it less likely that you will inwardly admit the need for change, and then make the change.

That's why these non-apologies -- I am sorry if you were offended, if you got your feelings hurt, if you misunderstood -- don't satisfy. There is not discomfort with the wrong; just discomfort that other people noticed.

There is so much room for improvement.

This should be really obvious but...

There has been a genre of horror movies where people try to prevent the End of Days by doing something to stop the Antichrist.

I had always thought those missed the point; it's not something we can prevent, but that's okay.

This may be a good time to back up and say what Latter-Day Saints believe. We believe that there will be growing wickedness and natural disasters -- things like you would read about in Revelation -- but then Christ will return and usher in 1000 years of peace. 

We refer to the 1000 years as the Millennium. During this time people are resurrected and various things are healed. For example, my mother's first two children were born prematurely and died; we believe that she will get a chance to raise them. Also we believe there will be lots of temple work, going along with people getting the chances that they didn't have before. 

These are generally thought of as good times, though I know people who are worried it will be the end of fun. I don't think righteousness across the Earth means that there can't be roller coasters and rock concerts, so that doesn't worry me a lot.

That being said, worrying about plagues and wars and earthquakes can be scary. I get people not looking forward to that part, though you could easily look around and say "Worse than this?"

And yes, at least for us, because even though I am aware of terrible things, I am sheltered from a lot of it. I imagine a lot of those buffers falling away. 

From a spirituality/faith standpoint, those beliefs do keep me from total despair, though there are frequent waves of anger, sadness, and frustration.

Here's the thing that should be obvious, but maybe I am wrong...

WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONES CREATING THE PLAGUES AND THE WARS AND THE SUFFERING!

Just because there are apparently some higher-ups in the "Department of War" that don't get that.

First of all, Matthew 18:7

Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!  

Revelation mentions the AntiChrist and the Beast, but that doesn't make them heroes.

Remember also the parables given in Matthew 25 as an accompaniment to talking about end times. They are parables given about those who are looking for His return. They talk about preparedness, but that preparedness is a matter of accumulating spiritual light, developing your abilities productively (which could be interpreted in a capitalist light if you don't take it in conjunction with all of the other scriptures), and especially feeding, clothing, visiting, and helping others.

Seriously, we are supposed to be feeding children; not bombing them.

I know you hear all of those stories about people who find the scriptures really wimpy but somehow think that's a different book... it's weird to me, but I believe it happens.

However, if you think bringing on the Second Coming is a good thing, and something you want to work toward, then please spend some time reading up on that would entail. 

Remember what is written before those parables, in Matthew 24:22:

And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect’s sake those days shall be shortened. 

It's not a laughing matter. It's not some macho fantasy. There are hard times right now, that we can expect to get worse, and we are called to make those times easier and alleviate suffering. 

I know Raiders of the Lost Ark is fiction, but there is something real in the idea of Nazis thinking that if they wore the right outfits and said the right words they could have the power and glory.

Try and live in such a way that you don't deserve to have your face (and the rest of you) melted.