All aboard the Meal Train

Recently I called a friend to check in after seeing they had an injured child.

I offered to start a meal train.

If you don't know, that's when people sign up to bring over dinner. They usually run for about two weeks.

My offer was not sarcastic, but it wasn't earnest either. I was sure she would not want one. She laughed too, like "No!"

If she had said it would help, I totally would have started one and probably taken the first dinner. There's still a level at which we don't take them too seriously and there are reasons for that.

Shortly after that call I saw that a friend of a friend had died. Checking out the obituary, there was a link to a meal train; there was a real outpouring of love in that. 

I felt somewhat humbled. 

Some of my bad attitude comes from memories of people bringing food over for us, where a can of refried beans sat on the counter for weeks until there was a food drive. It was supposed to go in a casserole -- it was not just the can -- but I have a real aversion to all but green beans and I was not going to touch it.

Someone else brought a jar of juice they had made and canned from the grapes in their yard. That is impressive, but we don't drink a lot of juice. It ended up in the pantry and got pushed behind things; the next time we saw it the color had changed and we had to let it go.

Still, we have never really had trouble feeding ourselves.

Back when the average family had a stay-at-home mother who did all of the cooking, her being out of commission could really disrupt the meal supply. People do need to eat.

It has also been common to take food when there is a death, not just because people are sad but also there are often friends and family from out of town. Possibly the genesis of a meal train was so that all the food didn't come in at once.

In the first episode of The Unicorn, widower Wade has a small crisis as he reaches the end of the donated meals that had accumulated in their chest freezer. For a few months it had not mattered that he couldn't cook (but could heat). Sure, it was fictional, but there were different connotations. 

Of course, The Unicorn was set in North Carolina and the other meal train was in Missouri, so maybe part of the issue is that we are pickier eaters in the Pacific Northwest. There might be more dietary issues out here.

I do think there is something to be said for not automatically serving on default settings; that may not be the best way of meeting needs. Asking "Do you need anything?' isn't a great technique either.

Regardless, it was good for me to be reminded that something I don't want can still be good for someone else. 

I did call. I did not find a need for service, but I did get confirmation that things were going okay. 

That is a start, but should not be a finish.

Perspective check

I have been thinking about pride a lot, especially as it relates to dominator culture.

There can be multiple things to say, but I want to start with pride as it relates to intellectual superiority: "I'm smarter than you," "I know better than you," etc.

People will say some really wrong things -- there has been a movement against expertise -- so I get how it is easy to start feeling like you are the last person who knows anything. If that's not you, great, but this message is true for anyone, even those who don't need it:

You are not "smarter" than anyone. You are certainly not smarter than everyone.

That could easily be taken as an insult, but it's not intended that way. It's more a reminder of how we can do better collectively.

I am generally regarded as smart. That is partly that my mind works well in terms of comprehending and recalling facts, as well as integrating different bits of knowledge together. I also have a lot of curiosity and interest in that, so I read a lot and watch videos and do things to learn more. If I go back in time a few years and compare, I have learned a lot.

There is still so much that I don't know. There are other people who know parts that I don't.

No one of us can know it all.

That relates to academic things, but not only that. Different people have different experiences and experience things differently. 

Lots of people know more than I do about crocheting and knitting. There may be people who look down on that knowledge, but if you want a sweater it's important and there may be information picked up about fibers and strength of connection and grip that can pertain to other things.   

Privilege can be a part of knowing, but not the only part. 

For example, the person who can afford to and does move to France when the election does not go the way he wanted does have a different perspective on it than people without those options. It may not be the most useful perspective, even if he has the means to get more publicity on it.

Privilege is not necessarily a part of not understanding how color affects water temperature and that affects algae growth, but it may be a key part of assuming that knowledge is not necessary.  

Beyond that, there are people who may not know much now, but are capable of great understanding and skill with access to that training. 

(So using gifted programs as a way for some people to affirm that their children are special, redirecting resources away from other programs, would be a big mistake.)

We can help each other. One of the early steps is respecting others and what they have to offer.  

It is great to seek knowledge and enjoy it and to love the things that you know; you just need to be able to do that for other people too. 

One on one

If I could just take another moment to complain about Mike Lee, his online tantrum did not help.

Yes, the issue has been resolved (though apparently by removing the Christian designation from everyone, not just Mormons), but that appears to be related more to a phone call between Lee and Trump than all of the outraged tweets:

https://www.stripes.com/theaters/us/2026-06-09/mormon-backlash-pentagon-christian-list-21914850.html 

I had said the real answer would be sucking up; I feel vindicated.

Regardless, the angry tweets still have people talking, and not productively.

It takes different directions, from people spewing hate specifically about our religion or just religion in general, to others talking about how nice Mormons are even though they are not Christians, and theorizing that it is the organization.

There are also former members saying things that aren't correct. Whether that false understanding is part of why they left or happened after, and whether they got it from someone who is still attending... those are all things I can't answer because it's really not the right venue.

I think this happens more on the main blog, but I will sometimes "argue" that there is no point in arguing on the internet. 

I think it happens more on the main blog because that is generally referring to politics. Perhaps that is because political beliefs often turn out to be more a matter of emotion and ideology than reason.

I know it doesn't have to be that way.

We can and should think about things. We should not shut out emotion, but we should not just give in to it either. 

Some of the worst emotions can be really strong.

The internet can be great for sharing pictures or quick updates or jokes. It can be good for leading people to more information or rallying them to action. 

In general, it works more as a broadcast system. 

There are topics for which effective communication requires personal connection. That's a whole different set of requirements.

Sometimes you may still find a closed mind (or you may be the closed mind). Sometimes the only rational thing to do is let some people go, but it is still better to have connected with the person and tried. 

An example of the believers

Mike Lee (and a few other political members) are sharing scriptures and things online, desperately protesting the military declaration that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has been left off the military list of recognized religions.

https://apnews.com/article/us-military-religious-affiliations-pete-hegseth-christian-002a610344189f4f456291d76b910d52 

Despite sharing a religion, I don't agree with Mike Lee very often; that pattern continues.

First of all, regarding Lee's tortured "Why?"

You know why.

We claim that we are Christians because we believe that Jesus Christ was the literal Son of God. By atoning for sin and conquering death through his resurrection, he is the Savior of Mankind. We could go on and on about what he has done for us and how that affects us. 

"Christians" first started being used after the Resurrection (in Antioch, Acts 11:26), long before the Athanasian Creed, used since the early 6th century and currently being referenced a lot.

Those who are not sticking by the creed are focusing on the weirdness of LDS beliefs, but I see a logic to them.

If you accept faith in God, and thus sin and the need for redemption, so literally believe in Christ as the Savior, plenty of people will find that weird. Our beliefs make it make more sense.

Also, if you don't believe in Christ's divinity, but that "Christianity" can consist of trying to be good like him, Latter-Day Saints could reasonably be included in that group too.

So the "why" on that level is the creed, but that's not the real point and it's not my main point.

The real point (and it is a dominator culture point) is that this administration (particularly Hegseth in this case) wants to demonstrate their power. They want to demonstrate that they control who gets in and out of the club. Should there be a literal mark of the Beast, they are going to be the ones assigning it.

I acknowledge that there are going to be practical issues with chaplains and things, but no government body can tell me whether or not my faith is valid. Constitutionally, the U.S. government is not supposed to able to do that to anyone.

This is where Mike Lee really, really sucks.

Instead of having a tantrum about getting kicked out of the club (after being so supportive of the club), where is your concern for the 170 other religions?

Where was your outrage when approved promotions to Brigadier General for two women and two Black men were canceled?

Are you upset at all about the return of screwworm? Persecution of immigrants? Food that was ready to go to starving people being canceled and left to rot?

Jesus would not have done that. 

If your specific objection is just to our exclusion as Christians, and your justification for our inclusion is how closely we follow Christ, waiting for this specific issue makes your argument weak.

I mean that specifically for you and other members who continue supporting Trump and this abomination of an administration. How are people going to look at the things you do and say and think, yeah, that's a Christian all right. 

Well, maybe the people who look down on Christians. 

There might be some bargains offered where certain groups are allowed back on the list with sufficient deference paid. If you want that, you are going to have to give up the enraged posts and start sucking up. 

Before you do that, consider what is more valuable to you. Is it more important to be allowed in the club or to live by your faith?

If you choose the latter, you should consider how well you are doing that. Maybe pray about it. 

Procrastination

7This has frequently been a problem of mine.

I think on one level it is anxiety-related. Sometimes I need to get other things done to get other worries out of the way. Sometimes it may be concerns about how it will go or the commitment to a task that may be long and unpleasant.

Some brains scatter more easily than others.

There is one thing I am learning now that makes not procrastinating even more important, but also makes the anxiety worse...

You do not know what's going to happen next to blow up your schedule.

If you believe you have plenty of time to do something, that sounds great; is it merely an illusion?

I have been very impressed at the things that have gone wrong this week.

I have not progressed in my schoolwork the way I would have hoped.

Have I learned how to do better?

I can only hope.  

 

Wrapping up and moving on

While there is more that could be said and cleaning, tidying, and recycling, the material for the activity has been thoroughly explored. 

Obviously there could be other posts. I thought about spending more time on thinking about what happens to your things after you die. I don't think you should make all of your decisions based on other people, which we covered, but it may be worth leaving some instructions. 

Those have been covered in other posts from other times, and may come up again.

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2015/03/preparing-for-death-part-1.html 

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2021/09/not-procrastinating-issues-of-life-and.html 

I saw something else this week that brought this series of posts full circle.

Someone had posted that most things you turn in don't get recycled. "Are they dirty? They don't get recycled."

These posts covered the importance of following the directions given by the places to whom you donate, as well as talking about "wishful" recycling.

There can definitely be problems; that is true. That's why you pay attention to what materials are accepted and what stipulations they have. 

There may also be issues with some unscrupulous places. As we were researching the "threads" issue, we started seeing a lot of ads for one option. A little searching found them getting pretty terrible reviews. That doesn't mean that there aren't good options, but some diligence is needed.

Saying something that could be true under certain circumstances without clarifying is dishonest. It may be even more important to consider the reason for the dishonesty.

In this case, I think it was a person who likes feeling superior to others; minimizing their efforts is one method. 

The "full circle" part is that it reminded me of the compost issue I had written about earlier, where some people will treat everything human as a contaminant, which is not terribly helpful but is pretty discouraging:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2026/04/cleaning-up-and-clearing-out-getting.html 

I see that on other topics besides recycling. 

Individuals can have various motivations. One person might have heard once that there is no point in recycling, get it stuck in their head, and then repeat it out of habit, without ever having looked more into it.

Someone might enjoy feeling superior.

Some may be promoting an agenda. 

For example, someone who sells cars might work against high-speed rail projects because they don't want the competition, but they won't give that as the reason. Maybe instead they will propose something that is supposed to be better, but does not hold up on further scrutiny. 

People who don't scrutinize might repeat that one too. Then if there are bot farms repeating things so that more people are hearing them, bad information and ideas can spread.

You do not necessarily have to become an expert on recycling, or any topic, but it is helpful to periodically ask where information is coming from and what interests it might serve.

Even more helpful could be asking about its effect on you.

Does this information tend to make you feel hopeless? Don't accept it too quickly. If hope lies in a different direction than you thought, it's worth seeking it out.

If I decide to give up recycling, do I go back to a bigger trash bin with a higher monthly rate?

Do we want more landfills? Are those beautiful?

It is frustrating that people will repeat things that may be wrong and that don't benefit them, but they still won't give up the ideas.

It may not be possible to fix that, but we do not have to be led by that. 

Beautifully, continuing to think about what works for you can support a happier life and a healthier planet. 

Cleaning up and clearing out: Implementation

One of the things I am studying for school is implementation science. It exists because no matter how clear it is that something is a good idea and should work, changing patterns and habits is hard.

You may want thing to get things tidy and even temporarily accomplish it in a burst of cleaning. Keeping it that way may require deeper changes.

While this was not exactly a clutter issue, we were having an issue with one of my sister's small socks. They would get caught in clothes. Even though I would shake out the clothes and feel through them, somehow there would still be an odd number of socks. Then, at some point a missing sock would fall out of clothing that had been searched earlier, perhaps when it was being put on.

It occurred to me that there are hosiery bags that could resolve this. We got one, but using it wasn't a habit at first; loose socks were still getting caught in clothes.

The step of going from "wearing" to "laundry" was the weak link. It needed to be a matter of putting the socks in the bag right after taking them off, then tossing the bag into the laundry when there were a few pairs.  

It is very satisfying finding the bag now and knowing that any socks that went into the wash stayed together.

I'd say it was silly, but that ended up being the livelisest part of the discussion at the activity. Many households have had sock issues and there are some strong feelings about them!

In some cases, those issues were exacerbated by people who should be capable of putting their own socks away but not doing so. That is a different problem requiring a different solution, but it may need to be combined with an organizational solution.

You have to find things that work for you. There may be perfectly reasonable ideas that only work for other people, and that's okay.

Packing lunch is practical, but using plastic sandwich bags that then get tossed every time does not feel very responsible.

Let's try reusable containers. Well, it worked for one sister, but it does not fit well into the other one's laptop bag. Maybe she needs a different container.

Remember, keeping things that spark joy is different from minimalism. Depending on your tastes, that could result in having a lot of things that might resemble clutter under certain systems.

A shower caddy might work for some memorabilia.

 What if you have Christmas ornaments that you want to display all year? There are options for that.

These are just some thoughts for issues we have run into with these particular people in this particular house. There are lots of differences.

I use the library for books now, but it is generally advised that children should have their own books. Even as adults there are books that we want to refer to sometimes or re-read periodically. 

Trying to get rid of everything isn't the answer. There are different wants and needs, and different solutions that will work with different individuals.  

Back when it seemed like everyone was talking about Marie Kondo, I remember one women realizing that she had a lot of hats and she liked them, but she didn't wear them that often. She changed how she kept her hats so they were easier to spot (a visual reminder) and easier to grab (convenience) and she started wearing her hats more. 

Do what you can to keep your joy in reach.