On being enough

(This uses some specialized terminology for those who are not members, so there are clarifying notes at the end.) 

I sort of alluded to this in the first of the posts about my talk, but I think I need to expand on it. 

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2025/08/currently-operating-at.html 

One big change for me since being called as a Relief Society presidency councilor is that I am a lot more aware of the struggles of the other women around me.

Some of that is from asking more questions. For example, we are supposed to do ministering interviews once a quarter. For my districts, that's twelve women that I am checking in on regularly on how they are doing with their responsibility to look after another twenty-two women.

(I realize that might be confusing for some, and I see a great need to write about ministering, but that is going to have to be another post.)

Suffice it to say, this new calling has led to more interactions and finding out more, but also sometimes I will just look at someone and feel that they are having a hard time, so there is empathy.

That may be why I felt the need to say this thing in my talk that I also said in a lesson I taught, and that I am going to reiterate now.

Although I did not seriously think about refusing the call (I have turned down a calling, but it's not something I would do lightly), there was a part of me wondering "Shouldn't I have it more together to do this?"

I felt that more for being unemployed at the time and not driving ever. 

I am still unemployed, but at this point I have decided that's okay while I am in school, and there's only four months left of that. When I got the call, I was looking hard for a job and not getting a lot of calls back. I had recently been turned down for one that seemed really promising. My life felt scarier and more in flux than usual.

Not driving has has embarrassed me for years. I think I am pretty much over the trauma that led to it in the first place, but that doesn't make it easy to change either. Sometimes I still think I should just do it, practice some and take the test, but I cannot afford a car or insurance now. Maria suggested saying I have too many DUIs as my excuse for not driving, but I don't think that would be less embarrassing.

Those two factors did not seem promising, but I was still going to do it..

That happened relatively late last year, when we were on the late schedule. The in January we switched to starting at 9 AM. Getting to church on time, or at all, has become much harder than it should.*

This is the first year I have seen how other people struggle with it. It's not everyone, but there are some people for whom it is always hard, some for whom it becomes harder as they age, and some where health problems have made it harder. 

We generally know our own problems, but we don't always know everyone else's. Sure, we are not supposed to compare, but sometimes we do.

So, I find myself admitting it more, though I have been fairly good about that for a while. 

I also have found myself saying -- back to that original question of whether I shouldn't be more together -- that I am not sure any wards have enough together people to fill all the presidencies.* *

That would require at least twenty-one people who have it together. At first you would think that's not that many, but as you get to know people more, having it together or feeling like you do is just rarer than you would have hoped.

And that's great! With imperfect people we serve and love and grow together. 

I have worried at times about plateauing, which is easy to do, but as callings regularly get changed around we keep getting opportunities to grow as we love and serve more. It's what we're here for.

I should note, a member of the stake*** presidency was on the stand, and after he said that he talks to members all the time who feel that same way. 

Now I get that, and I can trace the realization growing, but I did not know it the same way before. 

I think I am finally starting to carry this church understanding into my personal life. 

Notes: 

*A ward is the congregation you meet with, generally based on geography. Wards will share a common building, so for the sake of fairness we rotate starting times annually. My building has three wards, with start times of 9:00 AM, 10:30 AM, and 12 noon.

**Within wards are other organizations, like Primary for children, Young Men and Young Women (probably self-explanatory), Elders Quorum for adult men, Relief Society for adult women, and Sunday School. All of those have a president with two counselors and a secretary, not to mention the bishopric.

*** A stake is a group of wards, and they have their own presidencies. There are seven wards in my stake, sharing three buildings.