Not procrastinating issues of life and death

In a Facebook group that was based on people from church (perhaps what made it seem relevant to this blog), one member was doing research. They were polling who had filled out end of life instructions like Advance Directives.

That in itself didn't strike me as much as that almost all of the responses were people saying they were going to. It felt like they were answering confidently, as if filling out and signing the paperwork is a mere formality.

It is not.

Well, it can be, if -- and this "if" is huge -- that intent means that family members have discussed it and key people understand each others' wishes and will honor them. 

All it takes for that to go wrong is for one person to be too distraught too care (which in the case of sudden traumatic injuries leading to brain death, is plausible) or for some of the kinfolk to have moral qualms or disagreement or false hopes (all of which, with humans, it also pretty plausible).

Having signed documents filed with doctors makes it a matter of following the law. It is literally a matter of preparedness.

Unfortunately, people often don't like thinking about death. I get it. That death still happens pretty reliably is a really good reason to spend at least a little time thinking about it. That we can predict the inevitability of death but not the timing is a good reason to get those thoughts in writing and witnessed.

There is a pretty good starting place here: 

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/advance-care-planning-health-care-directives#started

I especially appreciate the section on different decisions. It is not a single "yes"/"no" decision. There are different circumstances to allow for.

Personally, I think if I were unresponsive, but breathing on my own and with brain activity, I would want people to start letting me listen to all the books on my Goodreads reading list that have audio files available. If there were still no progress after that, then remove the feeding tube, but at least I would finally have gotten caught up.

(That is probably at least partially facetious.)

The other thing I want to say is that going through my mother's POLST -- Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment -- registry paperwork with her was a really positive experience for both of us. Although she was starting to lose some memories, she was still answering the questions and understanding them. I was glad that she had that faculty. There was less of her mind left when we signed the durable power of attorney papers, and I regretted that.

(I have seen estimates that one in three seniors will get dementia. That's a hard thought, but maybe there is some thinking to do there, if on nothing else but potential prevention.)

Doctors of senior patients can often be helpful if there are questions. That is where we got the POLST paperwork, and where we turned it in when we were done.

It is not the only issue that should be thought about in advance, but it is a good starting point.