I participated in a Facebook strike today, which has delayed all posts.
The strike was for women to stay off of Facebook from 8 AM to 9 PM. I did Pacific Time, but I'm sure not all participants were in sync. That's fine.
Other people I know did not participate because that felt like being silenced. That is an excellent reason not to participate, and I support that.
Honestly, the reason it sounded good to me is because I am so absolutely sick of men and the amount of attention they believe they need. I am sure in the future I will write more about that, but taking some time off sounded good.
(I still have a load of nonsense that I need to sort through, and I would have more if some other stuff hadn't been deleted.)
As it is, I was not sure what to write about today. There are two topics that have been weighing on me, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to write on them, but taking a break and letting some other things happen seem best.
If I can offer something helpful, perhaps the best thing is some information for regarding domestic violence.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline:
https://www.thehotline.org/
Recognizing the signs of an abusive relationship and getting help:
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence:
http://www.ncadv.org/
Domestic Violence Resource Center
https://www.dvrc-or.org/
Remember, being religious is no guarantee against domestic abuse. Our church supports the patriarchy pretty well, which leaves room for a variety of abuses. We can do better, but sometimes before you can get better you have to get safe.
Sunday, September 30, 2018
Sunday, September 23, 2018
Your local Prepare Out Loud
This is a quick one, but you may remember that I expressed great enthusiasm for Prepare Out Loud, and interest in their intention to schedule more events in the fall:
There are currently three more scheduled:
September 25th - Portland (Montgomery Park)
September 26th - Gresham (Mt. Hood Community College)
September 27th - Sherwood (Sherwood Center for the Arts)
The addresses, times, and additional information are at the link, if one of these works for you.
I am holding out for one for Beaverton (maybe Hillsboro could work), but my plan is then to make fliers and give them to every neighbor. That means definitely on this block, but it might mean a ways off of the block too. Previously that could have meant an additional dozen or so fliers; now there are some new buildings. I will have to figure out how much effort I can put into it.
What I already know is that the more widespread preparedness is, the better off we all are. It's not just that desperate people might try and take by force, though I know that is one line of thinking. I also know that I would want to help people, but preparing supplies for a whole neighborhood is not practical. I do not have room for that amount of supplies.
It is true that letting someone know about an event does not take them all the way through to preparedness, but if even some percentage of the invited attend, and a percentage of them takes steps, then we are further along.
It also can ripple out in other ways. Maybe a family on this street comes and makes their own kits, but then at Christmas they give out a few more kits, making inroads into another neighborhood.
We have seen an increasing number of natural disasters. There is a lot that can be prevented, but it can be mitigated. Things can be made much better by neighbors talking to each other and working toward a common goal better.
An interesting and helpful discussion is not a bad way to start.
Sunday, September 16, 2018
Meekly strong
We had a lesson recently about meekness. It reminded me of something I had learned in the past, and I understand it better now.
I have written about it before, but I hadn't realized it was so long ago:
http://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2013/10/preach-my-gospel-chapter-6-christlike.html
I also hadn't realized that when I was writing on lessons from Preach My Gospel that it had been so long ago. Time flies when there is always something to work on.
If you read the old post, you will notice a lot of long compound sentences. I am somewhat better about that now, though those mostly get removed with editing. You don't have to read it, because I will summarize.
I had a mission companion who was very offended by a correction I made. The correction was unnecessary, but my trainer had done it to me, and it seemed reasonable then. It hurt her more than I thought I could, largely because of other burdens she was carrying.
Even though she was being really hard on me, I apologized and accepted all of the blame because it felt like the right thing to do. I understood at the time that it was related to meekness, but I also knew even then that I wasn't quite getting it right; it bothered me too much.
That period where she was treating me like an awful person and lashing out to hurt me had wounded me, and I was carrying that around for quite a while after. I kept almost bringing it up, wanting to get confirmation that it was wrong of her, and then pulling back because that was wrong of me.
Anyway, when we had the lesson I realized the failure on my part was my own insecurity.
She had to deal with some of those hurts that she was carrying around that had contributed. She made progress very quickly. One morning when I was studying she came out and hugged me. She had been praying and she felt a lot of love and gratitude that she was feeling better. I always remembered that moment.
Looking back now, I realize that in that moment we were far past her thinking that I was evil. That moment was a declaration of it, even if it didn't end up verbally covering everything that had been done and why.
She was okay at that point, but that didn't make me okay. That was my own baggage.
Of course, I wasn't the me I am now, who likes myself and knows that there was not always something fundamentally wrong with me since before I can remember.
I was somewhat on the path. I'd had some lessons (though this reinforced it) that insecurity is common, and that acting like you have it all under control and are always right is more likely to alienate people than impress them. I mean, it does impress some people, but it can still alienate them. There was still a lot for me to learn, and I am sure there was for her too.
Time flies when there is always more to learn.
What I see now is that meekness requires some confidence. It is not so much confidence in oneself, though that can relate. It is more that you know that you don't need to justify yourself and make every point heard. God knows, and all will be revealed and rectified in time.
For my situation, I do think ego was a part of it, though sometimes that ego is bound up with a sense of justice. When you know that you don't have to worry about that, then it is easier to simply put all of that aside and act only on love and integrity and what is right.
Then you can inherit the earth.
I have written about it before, but I hadn't realized it was so long ago:
http://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2013/10/preach-my-gospel-chapter-6-christlike.html
I also hadn't realized that when I was writing on lessons from Preach My Gospel that it had been so long ago. Time flies when there is always something to work on.
If you read the old post, you will notice a lot of long compound sentences. I am somewhat better about that now, though those mostly get removed with editing. You don't have to read it, because I will summarize.
I had a mission companion who was very offended by a correction I made. The correction was unnecessary, but my trainer had done it to me, and it seemed reasonable then. It hurt her more than I thought I could, largely because of other burdens she was carrying.
Even though she was being really hard on me, I apologized and accepted all of the blame because it felt like the right thing to do. I understood at the time that it was related to meekness, but I also knew even then that I wasn't quite getting it right; it bothered me too much.
That period where she was treating me like an awful person and lashing out to hurt me had wounded me, and I was carrying that around for quite a while after. I kept almost bringing it up, wanting to get confirmation that it was wrong of her, and then pulling back because that was wrong of me.
Anyway, when we had the lesson I realized the failure on my part was my own insecurity.
She had to deal with some of those hurts that she was carrying around that had contributed. She made progress very quickly. One morning when I was studying she came out and hugged me. She had been praying and she felt a lot of love and gratitude that she was feeling better. I always remembered that moment.
Looking back now, I realize that in that moment we were far past her thinking that I was evil. That moment was a declaration of it, even if it didn't end up verbally covering everything that had been done and why.
She was okay at that point, but that didn't make me okay. That was my own baggage.
Of course, I wasn't the me I am now, who likes myself and knows that there was not always something fundamentally wrong with me since before I can remember.
I was somewhat on the path. I'd had some lessons (though this reinforced it) that insecurity is common, and that acting like you have it all under control and are always right is more likely to alienate people than impress them. I mean, it does impress some people, but it can still alienate them. There was still a lot for me to learn, and I am sure there was for her too.
Time flies when there is always more to learn.
What I see now is that meekness requires some confidence. It is not so much confidence in oneself, though that can relate. It is more that you know that you don't need to justify yourself and make every point heard. God knows, and all will be revealed and rectified in time.
For my situation, I do think ego was a part of it, though sometimes that ego is bound up with a sense of justice. When you know that you don't have to worry about that, then it is easier to simply put all of that aside and act only on love and integrity and what is right.
Then you can inherit the earth.
Sunday, September 9, 2018
Sleeping in
Yesterday I slept really late.
It wasn't completely uninterrupted, because there were cats who wanted to be fed and a dog who wanted to go out, but where I often give up and start doing other things, yesterday I went back to sleep and fell asleep, not getting up until around 10.
I know, it sounds very slothful.
It was also the end of a very long week or so. The previous Friday there was a whirlwind trip to Spokane, with a long and miserable hike on Monday that left me far more physically depleted than I had counted on, and then a conference on Thursday and Friday.
Honestly, those were all good things (well, the hike was kind of a disaster, but that will be an eventual post on the travel blog). They also took a toll, and while I wasn't quite at the point of becoming ill, like back in June, I wasn't doing well.
So I slept - the best healer - and the things that did not get done that could have gotten done will probably still get done another day.
A few of the people at the conference were from the PDX Alliance for Self-care, and we had some discussion about that on breaks. One of the really important things is saying "no" sometimes.
I have reached a point in my caretaking duties where I am forgetting how to relax, and I am forgetting how to plan fun activities when spare time is for all the things that are running behind. I have to learn to do better for everyone.
After June I realized I can't afford to get sick. I keep having great intentions for health, but those become other things to do, when often what I need most is rest, and a lazy Saturday morning.
It wasn't completely uninterrupted, because there were cats who wanted to be fed and a dog who wanted to go out, but where I often give up and start doing other things, yesterday I went back to sleep and fell asleep, not getting up until around 10.
I know, it sounds very slothful.
It was also the end of a very long week or so. The previous Friday there was a whirlwind trip to Spokane, with a long and miserable hike on Monday that left me far more physically depleted than I had counted on, and then a conference on Thursday and Friday.
Honestly, those were all good things (well, the hike was kind of a disaster, but that will be an eventual post on the travel blog). They also took a toll, and while I wasn't quite at the point of becoming ill, like back in June, I wasn't doing well.
So I slept - the best healer - and the things that did not get done that could have gotten done will probably still get done another day.
A few of the people at the conference were from the PDX Alliance for Self-care, and we had some discussion about that on breaks. One of the really important things is saying "no" sometimes.
I have reached a point in my caretaking duties where I am forgetting how to relax, and I am forgetting how to plan fun activities when spare time is for all the things that are running behind. I have to learn to do better for everyone.
After June I realized I can't afford to get sick. I keep having great intentions for health, but those become other things to do, when often what I need most is rest, and a lazy Saturday morning.
Sunday, September 2, 2018
Kisses in your oatmeal
I just wanted to do an easy one today. I guess this is a life hack.
A few years ago I wrote on the main blog about what I called Moderate Changes, a plan for incorporating more nourishing foods into my life. The hardest thing at the time seemed to be incorporating more whole grains, which I have also written about in this blog, though that goes back even further.
One of the easiest and most economical solutions was oatmeal, not in the flavored packets (much more processed and much more expensive) but made with whole oats. It did not take long at all to get tired of that. I liked that I could add cinnamon, which is supposed to be good for diabetes (questionable benefit, but there is nothing wrong with adding cinnamon) and that I could add chia seeds for energy (I question how well that works also), but still, it got very boring, and made the sugary cereals extra tempting.
I don't even know why I got the idea to add Hershey kisses. I guess we had some around. Anyway, the chocolate really perked the oatmeal up.
I figured this was not a particularly good thing to do, but it was something that worked for me. It's like when people tell you that a salad with dressing has all the calories of a cheeseburger, but even if that is true, you are still getting a lot more green vegetables in the salad than you were on the burger. I did not expect the choice to be validated, but it was still getting me more oats and chia seeds.
Then doctors validated it.
I did not go seeking that. We were talking about nutrition in general, and my typical breakfast. I was expecting something about how it would really be better without the chocolate, or that it would be better with fruit, or at least stress how much better for you dark chocolate is (ugh), but on two separate occasions doctors have said "Actually, that sounds really good."
That's not necessarily that they are admiring my nutritional acumen. Really, I think in that moment they were wishing for chocolate in their oatmeal. Still, it felt pretty good.
Obviously there is always room for improvement, and I'm not recommending a total abandonment of nutritional concerns, but also, you do you.
Sometimes that works out.
A few years ago I wrote on the main blog about what I called Moderate Changes, a plan for incorporating more nourishing foods into my life. The hardest thing at the time seemed to be incorporating more whole grains, which I have also written about in this blog, though that goes back even further.
One of the easiest and most economical solutions was oatmeal, not in the flavored packets (much more processed and much more expensive) but made with whole oats. It did not take long at all to get tired of that. I liked that I could add cinnamon, which is supposed to be good for diabetes (questionable benefit, but there is nothing wrong with adding cinnamon) and that I could add chia seeds for energy (I question how well that works also), but still, it got very boring, and made the sugary cereals extra tempting.
I don't even know why I got the idea to add Hershey kisses. I guess we had some around. Anyway, the chocolate really perked the oatmeal up.
I figured this was not a particularly good thing to do, but it was something that worked for me. It's like when people tell you that a salad with dressing has all the calories of a cheeseburger, but even if that is true, you are still getting a lot more green vegetables in the salad than you were on the burger. I did not expect the choice to be validated, but it was still getting me more oats and chia seeds.
Then doctors validated it.
I did not go seeking that. We were talking about nutrition in general, and my typical breakfast. I was expecting something about how it would really be better without the chocolate, or that it would be better with fruit, or at least stress how much better for you dark chocolate is (ugh), but on two separate occasions doctors have said "Actually, that sounds really good."
That's not necessarily that they are admiring my nutritional acumen. Really, I think in that moment they were wishing for chocolate in their oatmeal. Still, it felt pretty good.
Obviously there is always room for improvement, and I'm not recommending a total abandonment of nutritional concerns, but also, you do you.
Sometimes that works out.
Sunday, August 26, 2018
Clearing out
I have embarked on a three-year plan for clearing things out.
It wasn't originally intended to take three years, but it did not take very long to realize anything shorter would be unrealistic.
In this case the "how" is very individual, so I will talk about it but the "why" may be the part that is more applicable.
I had been thinking that for environmental and economic reasons one definite requirement for a better world is less materialism. There are the resources for people to be fed and clothed and comfortable, but not so much for the excess, where there is always more and more. Without strictly defining that, for it to work the mindset of always needing newer and shinier will not work.
Those thoughts had been in mind, but it hit harder when looking at footage of the aftermath of Hurricane Maria. There were all of these mounds of possessions swept out by wind and water, and you couldn't even tell what they were anymore -- they were now garbage. That thought was not a reflection on anyone who owned the things; but a reminder that things are subject to destruction.
Other thoughts that have related are thinking about moving, and what a chore it would be, and watching a neighbor go through the contents of her late mother's home, and watching people needing to evacuate fires. Sometimes when you have some advance notice you can pack some things and save some things, but it is probably easier to focus if you have less.
Also, realistically, I have a lot of possessions now. I don't feel right just getting rid of them, but if I had never gotten them I would not have missed them.
I am not trying to promote a strict minimalist lifestyle, but I believe that greater consciousness about what we consume and what we keep will be really helpful.
In my case, a lot of the buildup has been in things that I am not ready to let go of yet: books, magazines, and embroidery kits. These are things that promised me some satisfaction at one time, and I believe that I can still get that enjoyment, but I haven't had it yet. I don't want to throw away the knowledge inside them, or the experience of working with them.
I am currently focusing more on the magazines, with some work on the books.
There was a time when I read magazines a lot; they weren't always piling up unread. Three that I enjoyed a lot and subscribed to were Smithsonian, Shape, and Psychology Today. Also, though it was more for the family and my mother, we had subscriptions to church magazines, the Ensign and Liahona. I have at this point discontinued all the subscriptions, because I can clearly no longer keep up, but the stacks remained.
The church magazines have become part of my gospel and Italian study, and there are sometimes parts of this blog that relate to that. They are working their way out - there are only three left after this morning - but the experiences have been good. I don't regret that they were saved, but I am also really satisfied to see them gone.
One additional issue with the more educational magazines was that sometimes I would read them but then save them, because someone would be interested in that, or I wanted to remember. I have gotten much stricter with myself. If I think someone else should see the article, I give it to them as soon as I am done. (It's usually Julie.)
It is also nice that I am not as worried about forgetting things. As I keep reading more science and history, things start to fit together. Maybe I had not thought about this random fact for a few years, but then when it pertains to something else I am reading it comes back to mind, "Oh yeah." And of course the internet makes finding things much easier when I can't quite remember. Now I can not only find that the experiment to have strangers fall in love was the work of Arthur Aron, but I can find the 36 questions used in the experiment on line.
(FYI, the experiment is really more about creating intimacy, but that is important for love, and developing those feelings of closeness can be intoxicating.)
Not everything has equal value. I ended up getting rid of a lot of the Shape issues without reading them. It was a well-written magazine, but it doesn't meet my needs anymore. I still maintain that it's better than Self, for what that's worth.
Not all of the books that I have had lying around for years have been great. Probably others will not be either, but some of them will be good, and they will still be done. Completing something is a wonderful feeling. I don't know that the long wait makes it better, but if there has been some frustration from seeing over and over again that something remains undone, completion vanquishes that.
In this way, it is becoming more conscious not just of my possessions and my surroundings, but also for how I use my time. This is something that I wanted. This is something that was important to me. It's slow, and if I had been staying on top of things all along it wouldn't have to be an issue, but it feels good.
You may not all have the same stacks of unread materials and uncompleted crafts (I did finish my Halloween basket!) -- for your sake, I hope you don't -- but there are probably some things that you don't need, where there is the opportunity to feel lighter. Doing it indiscriminately may lead to more problems, but proceeding thoughtfully can feel really good.
I expect that as I clear out this areas, the field will expand. We might be okay with less cookware. For example, I definitely need two stockpots, but we might not need so many loaf pans. Or maybe I should make more bread. I can think about that.
Mainly, I am a strong believer in thinking.
It wasn't originally intended to take three years, but it did not take very long to realize anything shorter would be unrealistic.
In this case the "how" is very individual, so I will talk about it but the "why" may be the part that is more applicable.
I had been thinking that for environmental and economic reasons one definite requirement for a better world is less materialism. There are the resources for people to be fed and clothed and comfortable, but not so much for the excess, where there is always more and more. Without strictly defining that, for it to work the mindset of always needing newer and shinier will not work.
Those thoughts had been in mind, but it hit harder when looking at footage of the aftermath of Hurricane Maria. There were all of these mounds of possessions swept out by wind and water, and you couldn't even tell what they were anymore -- they were now garbage. That thought was not a reflection on anyone who owned the things; but a reminder that things are subject to destruction.
Other thoughts that have related are thinking about moving, and what a chore it would be, and watching a neighbor go through the contents of her late mother's home, and watching people needing to evacuate fires. Sometimes when you have some advance notice you can pack some things and save some things, but it is probably easier to focus if you have less.
Also, realistically, I have a lot of possessions now. I don't feel right just getting rid of them, but if I had never gotten them I would not have missed them.
I am not trying to promote a strict minimalist lifestyle, but I believe that greater consciousness about what we consume and what we keep will be really helpful.
In my case, a lot of the buildup has been in things that I am not ready to let go of yet: books, magazines, and embroidery kits. These are things that promised me some satisfaction at one time, and I believe that I can still get that enjoyment, but I haven't had it yet. I don't want to throw away the knowledge inside them, or the experience of working with them.
I am currently focusing more on the magazines, with some work on the books.
There was a time when I read magazines a lot; they weren't always piling up unread. Three that I enjoyed a lot and subscribed to were Smithsonian, Shape, and Psychology Today. Also, though it was more for the family and my mother, we had subscriptions to church magazines, the Ensign and Liahona. I have at this point discontinued all the subscriptions, because I can clearly no longer keep up, but the stacks remained.
The church magazines have become part of my gospel and Italian study, and there are sometimes parts of this blog that relate to that. They are working their way out - there are only three left after this morning - but the experiences have been good. I don't regret that they were saved, but I am also really satisfied to see them gone.
One additional issue with the more educational magazines was that sometimes I would read them but then save them, because someone would be interested in that, or I wanted to remember. I have gotten much stricter with myself. If I think someone else should see the article, I give it to them as soon as I am done. (It's usually Julie.)
It is also nice that I am not as worried about forgetting things. As I keep reading more science and history, things start to fit together. Maybe I had not thought about this random fact for a few years, but then when it pertains to something else I am reading it comes back to mind, "Oh yeah." And of course the internet makes finding things much easier when I can't quite remember. Now I can not only find that the experiment to have strangers fall in love was the work of Arthur Aron, but I can find the 36 questions used in the experiment on line.
(FYI, the experiment is really more about creating intimacy, but that is important for love, and developing those feelings of closeness can be intoxicating.)
Not everything has equal value. I ended up getting rid of a lot of the Shape issues without reading them. It was a well-written magazine, but it doesn't meet my needs anymore. I still maintain that it's better than Self, for what that's worth.
Not all of the books that I have had lying around for years have been great. Probably others will not be either, but some of them will be good, and they will still be done. Completing something is a wonderful feeling. I don't know that the long wait makes it better, but if there has been some frustration from seeing over and over again that something remains undone, completion vanquishes that.
In this way, it is becoming more conscious not just of my possessions and my surroundings, but also for how I use my time. This is something that I wanted. This is something that was important to me. It's slow, and if I had been staying on top of things all along it wouldn't have to be an issue, but it feels good.
You may not all have the same stacks of unread materials and uncompleted crafts (I did finish my Halloween basket!) -- for your sake, I hope you don't -- but there are probably some things that you don't need, where there is the opportunity to feel lighter. Doing it indiscriminately may lead to more problems, but proceeding thoughtfully can feel really good.
I expect that as I clear out this areas, the field will expand. We might be okay with less cookware. For example, I definitely need two stockpots, but we might not need so many loaf pans. Or maybe I should make more bread. I can think about that.
Mainly, I am a strong believer in thinking.
Sunday, August 19, 2018
Living by the Spirit
After last week's post, it occurred to me that maybe I should do something on recognizing the Spirit. Emphasizing the importance of listening may not be that helpful without some idea of how to listen.
The range of possibilities is wide enough that it can lead to some difficulty. Honestly, D & C 9 gave me a bit of a complex:
"But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right." Doctrine and Covenants 9:8
I never really felt burning in my bosom, until it was confirmed that I should go on a mission. Then it was my entire body on fire, not just in my chest.
It is still a really good scripture. The concept that you should study and then pray for confirmation is helpful in many situations. Still, it is better when you know the context. This section is about Oliver Cowdery learning to translate, and expecting it to be easier than it was. Wrong expectations can set us up for failure, but it doesn't mean failure is the only option either. Section 9 can teach us about humility and opening ourselves up to guidance, but it also teaches us that there are individual differences. Guidance for me may not feel like guidance for you.
I can tell you that at times when I have been feeling the influence of the Holy Ghost it has led to me crying, or feeling a warmth, or getting goosebumps, or suddenly understanding something I hadn't before - which has come in the form of words sometimes but sometimes just knowledge - butI might not remember everything I have felt, and there might be still more ways that apply for you.
I think sometimes the differences can relate to the context. Every now and then there is a dream that matters, and is not just about my subconscious sorting things out. Often when that has happened it has been for something pretty specific that it would have been hard to get without seeing and hearing it. For the two main times, they were also about things that I needed to do for someone else without knowing there had been a need, so I wasn't going to be pondering and praying about it.
Otherwise, a lot of my memorable encounters with the Spirit have come from simply putting myself in the right place: while reading the scriptures, or praying, or in church or in the temple. Also, sometimes I am too preoccupied to listen, and need to make quiet time. I used to think meditation was not needed if you prayed, but taking time to meditate can make your prayer better. Pondering - where we focus our thoughts - is often understood as necessary, but meditating to quiet thoughts can help too. If we regularly do things to invite the Spirit, that invitation will be accepted, and then answers will come.
I remember having it hammered home pretty hard by a teacher once that there is no revelation without a question. That would seem to not be true based on those dreams, but at the same time, even if I was not praying to know how to help my friend or sister, I generally am praying for my family, and to do well in my callings, and for help in knowing what I need to do and doing it. Leaving the channel open appears to be the main priority. There are always going to be more possibilities than we realize.
My go-to scripture is always Galatians 5:22:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,"
That is why I keep worrying about the increase of anger that I notice. It's not that there aren't things that deserve anger (and we can disagree on what those are), but being constantly angry will cut you off. Gloating will cut you off. Focusing on how much suffering people deserve, or the good things they don't deserve, will cut you off. Fortunately, we can pray for help with that too.
I have recently stopped to consider the guidance I have received over the years. Some of the growth has come from hardships that I did not choose, but as I have asked for help in dealing with those hardships, and acted on the promptings I have received for what to do, I have learned a lot. In the process, I have recognized my own weaknesses and how they have held me back, and actively sought healing for those weaknesses. That has been a long journey, and I never could have imagined the possibilities, but I am profoundly grateful for them now.
Let me add, then, that one hallmark of living by the Spirit is that there will keep being more. You will follow more promptings, gain more inspiration, and there will be more refining. It is not easy, but it is beautiful.
The range of possibilities is wide enough that it can lead to some difficulty. Honestly, D & C 9 gave me a bit of a complex:
"But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right." Doctrine and Covenants 9:8
I never really felt burning in my bosom, until it was confirmed that I should go on a mission. Then it was my entire body on fire, not just in my chest.
It is still a really good scripture. The concept that you should study and then pray for confirmation is helpful in many situations. Still, it is better when you know the context. This section is about Oliver Cowdery learning to translate, and expecting it to be easier than it was. Wrong expectations can set us up for failure, but it doesn't mean failure is the only option either. Section 9 can teach us about humility and opening ourselves up to guidance, but it also teaches us that there are individual differences. Guidance for me may not feel like guidance for you.
I can tell you that at times when I have been feeling the influence of the Holy Ghost it has led to me crying, or feeling a warmth, or getting goosebumps, or suddenly understanding something I hadn't before - which has come in the form of words sometimes but sometimes just knowledge - butI might not remember everything I have felt, and there might be still more ways that apply for you.
I think sometimes the differences can relate to the context. Every now and then there is a dream that matters, and is not just about my subconscious sorting things out. Often when that has happened it has been for something pretty specific that it would have been hard to get without seeing and hearing it. For the two main times, they were also about things that I needed to do for someone else without knowing there had been a need, so I wasn't going to be pondering and praying about it.
Otherwise, a lot of my memorable encounters with the Spirit have come from simply putting myself in the right place: while reading the scriptures, or praying, or in church or in the temple. Also, sometimes I am too preoccupied to listen, and need to make quiet time. I used to think meditation was not needed if you prayed, but taking time to meditate can make your prayer better. Pondering - where we focus our thoughts - is often understood as necessary, but meditating to quiet thoughts can help too. If we regularly do things to invite the Spirit, that invitation will be accepted, and then answers will come.
I remember having it hammered home pretty hard by a teacher once that there is no revelation without a question. That would seem to not be true based on those dreams, but at the same time, even if I was not praying to know how to help my friend or sister, I generally am praying for my family, and to do well in my callings, and for help in knowing what I need to do and doing it. Leaving the channel open appears to be the main priority. There are always going to be more possibilities than we realize.
My go-to scripture is always Galatians 5:22:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,"
That is why I keep worrying about the increase of anger that I notice. It's not that there aren't things that deserve anger (and we can disagree on what those are), but being constantly angry will cut you off. Gloating will cut you off. Focusing on how much suffering people deserve, or the good things they don't deserve, will cut you off. Fortunately, we can pray for help with that too.
I have recently stopped to consider the guidance I have received over the years. Some of the growth has come from hardships that I did not choose, but as I have asked for help in dealing with those hardships, and acted on the promptings I have received for what to do, I have learned a lot. In the process, I have recognized my own weaknesses and how they have held me back, and actively sought healing for those weaknesses. That has been a long journey, and I never could have imagined the possibilities, but I am profoundly grateful for them now.
Let me add, then, that one hallmark of living by the Spirit is that there will keep being more. You will follow more promptings, gain more inspiration, and there will be more refining. It is not easy, but it is beautiful.
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