Learning from mistakes

On the main blog I am writing about the BAFTAs. I believe the Tuesday post will be about apologies. Perhaps that is why I have been thinking of this.

Last conference, Elder Rasband spoke about a new chair at University of Utah: The Dr. Russell M. and Dantzel W. Nelson Presidential Chair in Cardiothoracic Surgery.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2025/10/55renlund?lang=eng 

Dr. Selzman, the first person to hold the professorship, had an experience before he accepted it. After a long day, a patient needed to go back into surgery. That meant the long day was going to stretch into the night. Frustrated, he thought...

"On Friday, I will be appointed to a professorship named after Dr. Nelson. He was always known as someone who kept his emotions in check, treated everyone with respect, and never lost his temper. Now that my name will be linked with his, I need to try to be more like him."

Instead of letting that frustration show to his team, he resolved to make a "conscientious effort to be especially supportive and understanding of his team."

That led to not only how he would act, but how that division would train:

“I do what we now teach our trainees to do—focus, get over it, and do the best you can. This ethos lives in us every day."

That is a good ethos, but the story made more of an impact on me because of another story I remembered from a talk two years earlier:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/04/47nelson?lang=eng 

President Nelson spoke of being a surgical intern assisting with an amputation on a leg filled with gangrene.

Another member of the surgical team did something poorly, and the surgeon flew into a temper. The tantrum included throwing the scalpel that would have been full of germs. While it had not been specifically aimed, the scalpel landed in Dr. Nelson's forearm. 

That was a breach of good practice, and everyone was horrified except, apparently, the offending surgeon. President Nelson said...

"Gratefully, I did not become infected. But this experience left a lasting impression on me. In that very hour, I promised myself that whatever happened in my operating room, I would never lose control of my emotions. I also vowed that day never to throw anything in anger—whether it be scalpels or words."

It would be wonderful to think that President Nelson would have had that attitude and patience anyway, but we can learn from an other's mistakes. He saw not only a bad example, and something that shouldn't have happened, but he also faced an actual danger from it. 

With him mentioning specifically that everyone was horrified except the surgeon, I assume there was no apology. Probably the surgeon went back to the procedure and everyone else had to go along with it; that was the person in charge and you do have a patient there who needs the surgery continued.

When someone is potentially at the risk of dangerous infection because of your recklessness and lack of control, that seems like a reasonable time to apologize. That would not have to cause a long delay either. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Will you please help him and then you please give me a new scalpel?" 

I am sure that they did continue the surgery and I hope someone helped with the new wound. It wouldn't take too long to at least pay tribute to doing the right thing. 

The problem is that comes with an admission of guilt.

I don't know that there was nothing learned by that surgeon either. Maybe he was gentler with his staff in the future, or maybe he would still periodically hurl verbal abuse but never, ever threw another scalpel. You can quietly affirm to do better.

I worry, though, that not openly admitting fault makes it less likely that you will inwardly admit the need for change, and then make the change.

That's why these non-apologies -- I am sorry if you were offended, if you got your feelings hurt, if you misunderstood -- don't satisfy. There is not discomfort with the wrong; just discomfort that other people noticed.

There is so much room for improvement.

This should be really obvious but...

There has been a genre of horror movies where people try to prevent the End of Days by doing something to stop the Antichrist.

I had always thought those missed the point; it's not something we can prevent, but that's okay.

This may be a good time to back up and say what Latter-Day Saints believe. We believe that there will be growing wickedness and natural disasters -- things like you would read about in Revelation -- but then Christ will return and usher in 1000 years of peace. 

We refer to the 1000 years as the Millennium. During this time people are resurrected and various things are healed. For example, my mother's first two children were born prematurely and died; we believe that she will get a chance to raise them. Also we believe there will be lots of temple work, going along with people getting the chances that they didn't have before. 

These are generally thought of as good times, though I know people who are worried it will be the end of fun. I don't think righteousness across the Earth means that there can't be roller coasters and rock concerts, so that doesn't worry me a lot.

That being said, worrying about plagues and wars and earthquakes can be scary. I get people not looking forward to that part, though you could easily look around and say "Worse than this?"

And yes, at least for us, because even though I am aware of terrible things, I am sheltered from a lot of it. I imagine a lot of those buffers falling away. 

From a spirituality/faith standpoint, those beliefs do keep me from total despair, though there are frequent waves of anger, sadness, and frustration.

Here's the thing that should be obvious, but maybe I am wrong...

WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONES CREATING THE PLAGUES AND THE WARS AND THE SUFFERING!

Just because there are apparently some higher-ups in the "Department of War" that don't get that.

First of all, Matthew 18:7

Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!  

Revelation mentions the AntiChrist and the Beast, but that doesn't make them heroes.

Remember also the parables given in Matthew 25 as an accompaniment to talking about end times. They are parables given about those who are looking for His return. They talk about preparedness, but that preparedness is a matter of accumulating spiritual light, developing your abilities productively (which could be interpreted in a capitalist light if you don't take it in conjunction with all of the other scriptures), and especially feeding, clothing, visiting, and helping others.

Seriously, we are supposed to be feeding children; not bombing them.

I know you hear all of those stories about people who find the scriptures really wimpy but somehow think that's a different book... it's weird to me, but I believe it happens.

However, if you think bringing on the Second Coming is a good thing, and something you want to work toward, then please spend some time reading up on that would entail. 

Remember what is written before those parables, in Matthew 24:22:

And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect’s sake those days shall be shortened. 

It's not a laughing matter. It's not some macho fantasy. There are hard times right now, that we can expect to get worse, and we are called to make those times easier and alleviate suffering. 

I know Raiders of the Lost Ark is fiction, but there is something real in the idea of Nazis thinking that if they wore the right outfits and said the right words they could have the power and glory.

Try and live in such a way that you don't deserve to have your face (and the rest of you) melted. 

Feed someone

Several times in February I saw a quote from Fred Hampton about how feeding people scares people.

As I had been posting daily quotes from Black people for Black History Month, I kept trying to find a source of the full quote so I could use it. 

I never found that one. I suspect that someone cleaned it up; maybe the original had references to "pigs" and "socialism" that might have sounded undermining in its aggression. (I have some sympathy for that.) 

I used a different quote from Hampton, but I keep thinking about that other one. 

On the surface, feeding people should not be remarkably subversive. In fact, many places have tried passing laws against it. These are sometimes done in the name of public health or safety, but it's more commonly about the public nuisance of allowing unhoused people to be visible and treated like they matter.

In fact, one of the bans was legally opposed with the assertion that feeding the homeless is a form of protest, and therefore constitutionally protected.

https://legalclarity.org/when-is-feeding-the-homeless-considered-illegal/ 

I had been irritated recently by an old reference to feeding "the worthy poor" as a Christian obligation. 

I see no indications that Christ made any stipulations about worthiness. 

The multitudes were fed because they were there. That they were there listening might indicate some worthiness, but in John 6 Jesus admonishes some for seeking him out because of the bread, then urges them to seek for "that meat which endureth unto everlasting life..."

He did still encourage them toward the spiritual, but that was not a condition for food.

In expounding on the parable of the sheep and the goats in Matthew 25, we are told that if we have done it unto one of the least of these, we have done it to Him. Likewise, if we have withheld it from one of the least of these, we have withheld it from Him.

There can indeed be variations in someone's level of worthiness, but they do not serve as a cutoff level for assistance.

Finally, from Mosiah 4:

17 Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—

18 But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.

19 For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

Eating is such a basic, recurring need that meal trains are the Relief Society go-to when people encounter any type of problem, even if that would not be the preference.

Feeding people also brings up such weird discussions when people get into preparing food versus ordering food and whether poor people have a right to have food preferences or whether getting poor children fed is important enough to give free lunches to the kids who don't need them.

Truly, people willingly display their worst impulses on this topic, no matter how much they try and cover with appeals to logic, the importance of work, and nutrition. Really, what they seem to want is to consolidate the existing hierarchy.

So, yes, just giving people food is subversive. 

The Aloha Community Library has a Share Space where donated food and personal items are available.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1299509918885741&set=pb.100064802343597.-2207520000&type=3 

I love that, and that there is no red tape or obstacles to people taking what is needed. We donate to it, but there are two things that are frustrating..

One is that they have had to request more than once that they don't get expired items. It comes up on a regular basis, including one from 2003!

The other is that most items go out on the same day they are donated.  

That confirms that it is needed, but also indicates that the demand is greater than the supply.

Of course there are other places to give, and donations like that are not the only way to give. 

Taking a treat to someone, or a meal or a gift card for a restaurant or delivery service... there are lots of ways to feed people that can address physical and emotional needs. 

Doing so also helps keep our hearts right.

Looking around, there is a great need for that.

Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2024/08/even-worse.html