The things you have to do

Let me preface this by saying that I don't believe all of our trials are specifically designed by God in a micromanaged way. That would be unnecessary, and as the world gets harder it would start feeling pretty sadistic. The problem is really people.

That being said, I do believe that there can be specific situations where -- for one reason or another -- there are things you need to do before you can move on.

For example, I worked at K-mart during high school (after working at McDonalds). Shortly after I graduated, I had a friend working at Burlington Coat Factory and wanted to work with her. I applied there and gave my notice to K-mart, confident I would be hired.

With my mind out the door already, I remember deliberately saying something deprecatory about the store and management within earshot of the big manager.

Then Burlington did not call back. 

To be fair, management was pretty bad, especially Debbie, but it was Debbie I needed to call and see about getting my job back. That phone call was pretty humbling and I would need to change to come back. 

Burlington called after that.

(And then Linda there was worse than Debbie, but had less power. Otherwise management was not bad, but it's still retail, you know?)

Leaving K-Mart was a reasonable thing, and I didn't say anything untrue. It was unwise and jerky and immature to make that comment within earshot of Mr. Taber. I think I needed to learn that.

This current job hunt had not been going well.

It's not just that I wasn't getting hired. It's not just that I had given up on finding a job I wouldn't hate and started applying at call centers again. It was more that I was not hearing back at all, even on the jobs that weren't so great. The messages that tell you that they are going in another direction are discouraging, but applying into the void and not even getting an echo is it's own bad feeling.

This next part gets very personal, but recent experiences are showing me that there is a real lack of understanding between people in different economic classes, which perpetuates some problems. I don't think I can talk about that well enough yet to not alienate people.

So, my savings are gone. Even with help from my sisters, I am three months behind on the house payment and electric bill. I went to ask the bishop for help.

I had been feeling like I should but avoiding it; maybe I would hear something. Maybe there would be another solution.

I talked to him on Sunday. Monday I heard back on two applications.

One said that they are going in an other direction, but the other wanted an interview and they have scheduled a second interview.

Would that have happened anyway, even if I hadn't asked? Could I have delayed any more without the power being shut off? I don't know, but if you feel you need to do something, it is probably best to just get it over with. Maybe there is something you need to learn.

In this case, I think I am already pretty mature, but I am not great at asking for help. I may be a slow learner on that one.

This post may also be a good prelude for a completely different thing that I feel I need to do. I shall post about that on the main blog on Tuesday.