Counting the cost, part 2

In thinking about ways of getting more prepared, I keep banging my head against possibilities.

For example, I expect supply chain disruptions, so I think stocking up on necessities would be a good idea.

I am so broke. 

I could think about think about things that it would be good to have, but there may not be much point to that thinking.

I am not as worried about that as I could be. There is a real frustration to being broke and not hearing back on job applications -- that is totally discouraging -- but at this point I am not despairing over not having a year's supply of food and toiletries and clothing and two week's supply of water. That could change, but it doesn't feel like the priority for now.

One part of that is that I do believe in intuition and inspiration. We can all receive guidance and it will not lead us all in the same direction, even for similar circumstances.

The other part of that is understanding that some of us have more resources than others, and that gives us different opportunities.

For example, Nassau County in New York enacted a ban on face masks. You can imagine how I would feel about that.

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2024/12/wear-damn-mask.html 

Often the people who are most aware of the need for masking are disabled. Based on other problems with our society, they are often also poor. They might not be the people best able to risk challenging a mask ban.

People who have money and connections could often be the most useful. They rarely are, but they could be.

The questions I keep asking myself lately are what am I supposed to do and what lack I yet.

"What lack I yet?" comes from the story of the rich young man told in Matthew 19. He was an essentially righteous person, but felt that he needed more. Jesus diagnosed him as being too attached to his wealth, but also capable of great service and probably leadership. He said, "If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me."

That's not going to be the answer for everyone, but is there something you are not thinking about that you could be doing? Is there more that you have to give?

Then the other part of that is not to judge others. 

It might be very wise to start building up a food storage now, or to have had one that you were rotating all along, but there are people who can't do it. Are you going to decide that they have been unwise and feel superior, or are you going to acknowledge that for all of the good decisions you have made, you do not have full control over what choices you are presented?

The latter should helps us grow in gratitude for what we have and compassion for others.

If you do not have those, that is something that you lack.

Related posts:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2024/11/emergency-preparedness-redux.html 

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2024/12/counting-cost.html  

Changing frames

On Sundays I go over the previous week and figure out what I want to accomplish in the upcoming week.

I always have lots to do, and I do not always estimate how long some things will take. This can be a source of frustration.

Last week I got more done than usual. I hoped it signaled turning a corner and getting better at this.

That is not how it worked out.

One thing I had not gotten done was this assignment for school that was just taking forever. It involved fifty definitions and open questions, going over design process models, learning approaches, and psychological philosophies related to learning. I didn't think it would be fast, but I had to keep adjusting my expectations.

I haven't officially gone over this week yet, but it feels like completing the paper is the only thing I accomplished this week. I can probably still finish a book and send a friend e-mail, but it's going to look pretty weak by comparison.

Fortunately, there were some interesting thoughts on weakness in Sunday school last week.

We were talking about Ether 12:27

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Brother Taylor, who works in mental health, said that he often has to help people reframe how they think. It is common to interpret it as us overcoming the weakness. For example, we are impatient, so we work on that and eventually we become patient. Maybe instead we learn to use impatience as a strength, like maybe we are impatient with injustice.

Right before he said that I had been thinking about how some people channel their ADHD. It was an interesting way of looking at it.

One thing that has often seemed to be a weakness for me is that sometimes I just can't settle down when I need to focus. I often relate it to procrastination, but there are things I suddenly have to look up, or check on, and getting down to the task at hand is very difficult.

(This was on my mind more because of the assignment.) 

Another thing I have thought of as a weakness is that when I am on task for something, I have a hard time reacting to interruptions. This is often more social, where I have in mind someone that I need to talk to about something, or even an errand in a store, and un unplanned social interaction presents itself and I have a hard time switching into that mode and conversing. I have thought of this more as social awkwardness.

Maybe, though, my focus can be very good, and my remembering and being interested in many things can be very good, as long as I can get them to play nicely with each other.

Maybe they won't even be weaknesses if they can learn to take turns. 

There aren't strong conclusions to be drawn here, but what I hope this does contain is encouragement to think positively about your own quirks and hope that there can be good ways of harnessing them.

If we harness our powers against injustice, so much the better. 

Counting the cost

This post is going to wander. 

I have been thinking about things like navigating when you might take back someone you cut off, or at least whom you have called out, and they want to make things right. How do you talk about doing the work?

I have also been thinking about emergency preparedness and protest and planning for things. 

There is also an apparently very diverse topic in mind on how older men should consider whether a relationship would be harmful to a young woman, even if she is pursuing and legal.

Then Bob Bryar died. 

Well, it's more that his body was found. He had apparently been dead for about three weeks.

If you don't know, Bob Bryar was the second drummer for My Chemical Romance, a band that has been very important to me. That's a whole different story. 

He has been out of the band for some time -- not on great terms -- and had gone full MAGA. He posted a lot of ugly things, mostly racist but not limited to racism. He deleted a lot of those posts, but he was alienating people pretty hard. 

A welfare check on his dogs led to the discovery of his body. With the state of decomposition, I am not sure how easy it will be to determine what happened.

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/bob-bryar-former-my-chemical-romance-drummer-obituary-1235187261/ 

It made me think about another friend who has been melting down worse and worse. People have been asking if he is okay, but he wasn't responding, though he was still posting new things. I checked, and he has deleted his Facebook account.

I believe his family will at least try and keep tabs on him. I don't know whether they can do enough, but I at least think that if the worst happens, he will be found quickly. I know people for whom that wasn't true.

I am not changing my stance that there are times when it is best to cut people off. There are people that are dangerous, there are people that are draining, there are people that are toxic... you do not have to subject yourself to that.

There may also be times when it is worth it to hang in there. 

What I am really saying is that it makes a lot of sense to spend some time taking an inventory. What are you worried about? What are your resources? What are you not prepared for?

To give an example, my blood sugar has been a little more erratic lately. I have been reading a lot about protest, and things that can be effective. Sometimes that involves arrests, and that seems like a really bad idea for me health-wise. 

I thought this post would be about deciding on taking back someone you had cut off, but there can be that before step too: if you do cut them off, do they have other support? What is the loss to you? What is the gain? Would there be something you couldn't live with? What would need to be different?

While it seems more mundane, it's not a bad idea to think about if someone you care about disappears off social media. Would you have a way to contact them? I haven't had a number for Eli for a long time. I'm not saying I would be the most effective person to reach out, but I don't have the option either way.

I've always been a fan of thinking about things. It is more recently that I have understood the value of harm reduction, but it is important.

Other people may not agree with your choices.

When I kept prioritizing my mother's well-being over various needs or wants for me, I had one friend who kept trying to change my mind. There were things I needed to change, like regularly scheduling respite, and I am not denying it took a toll; that toll is still felt. However, I have lived up to what I felt was needed, and I can live with that. I don't regret that.

A different friend tried very hard to convince me that I would regret not being in contact with my father, especially if he died. I know I will have unhappy feelings, but this feels right for me.

It would not have been right for her, but her relationship with her father was completely different, even though it still had its problems.  

As much as the future is unknown, there are things we can guess and tell and have concerns about despite uncertainty. 

I encourage you to spend some time thinking about your priorities and abilities. While doing that, please carry kindness and grace in those thoughts, for yourself and for others. 

Luke 14:

28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?

29 Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,

30 Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.

31 Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?

32 Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.