Except it's really kind of just one thing.
This is not about the Biblical Enoch who had a city named after him that was united enough to be taken to Heaven. That would be great.
This is about eight people dead in a murder-suicide in a small town in Utah.
https://ksltv.com/516921/what-we-know-about-the-family-killed-in-enoch-murder-suicide/
The first thing -- and this is so Utah -- is comments made by a relative that the murderer removing the guns from the home left his wife, children, and mother-in-law vulnerable.
The theory is that both women were trained in gun safety and able to protect human life, so if they'd had their own guns they would have been able to take him out, I guess.
“This is the type of loss that will continue to occur in families, communities and this nation when protective arms are no longer accessible.”
I suspect him having the guns was a bigger problem than her not having the guns.
This is where it kind of becomes the same thing... I doubt that Tausha Haight would have been able to kill her husband nearly as easily as he was able to kill her.
This is not about women being more tender or gentle or timid, but one thing that happens in our social conditioning is that it is much easier for a man to view his wife and children as his property and his by right than it is for a woman to believe that.
It is easier to kill property than people.
One of the more enlightening Twitter accounts can be found at https://twitter.com/ask_aubry. She pulls news stories and items from forums and dating sites, but also she will frequently get text or message threads and post them, removing the names.
With horrifying frequency you will see threads where a man initiates contact with a woman, is being all friendly and supportive, and then, as soon as he deems that there is not an appropriate response, lets loose a string of abuse.
Now, you might think that inappropriate response would be a "No." Sometimes it is, but also sometimes it is just not being available at the requested time and suggesting a later date. Sometimes it is simply not responding within the desired time frame. The scariest of those was someone adding that he knew she was not driving when she got the text, because it only takes her so many minutes to get home, even if she does have to wait for the light.
Often thrown in with all of the profane insults is something about being just like all the others. Many posts seem to demonstrate a belief that women are like video games with cheat codes; if you go through the proper steps you should be able to get one, regardless of her interests. That makes it horribly unfair when the process fails, and it justifies hate.
No, they are not all going to turn homicidal. Sometimes it's just that they won't take her needs seriously, or that all of the domestic chores are women's work (from which she never gets time off). Often it is a benevolent sexism where there is a pedestal and talk about "marrying up", but none of it is as valuable as being able to be recognized for the full person that she is.
And then, when masculinity requires that he can't lose to her, yeah, sometimes they get violent and it's not always easy to predict.
Except when you're leaving, that is when the danger is highest; that is pretty well-established. The murderer had recently received divorce papers.
Also, him taking all of the guns is a red flag, but often the only route to safety is disappearing, uprooting everything in your life. That's hard enough for one person, and with five children would be almost impossible.
What we really need is a change in thinking.
Years ago I read a book, Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny by Kate Manne. She focused a lot on definitions, and the end result seemed to be that men feel women should be available to them, even if it's just a matter of smiling on command. There can be exceptions if the woman is property of some other man -- that's why if a man is being creepy to one woman and finds out she is married, he will apologize to her husband -- but overall, women should be at men's disposal.
Which can also result in being perceived as disposable.
This is not good for men either. As part of dominator culture it means that they are in competition with other men, when it would be unity and cooperation that would get us back to God.
It can be a barrier to depth in relationships, when the woman is perceived as an object instead of an equal subject.
Quite frankly, it also allows men to remain mediocre, which interferes with the purpose of this life, but it sure gets resented when they start feeling that pressure of having to be more.
So no, they don't always kill, but that happens often enough that we should think about getting over the shock and eradicating the root cause.
ETA: Linking to this post from DesignMom who adds some insight, and also references Kate Manne:
https://designmom.substack.com/p/he-murdered-his-whole-family-who
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