Christmas Gifts: My mission

For these posts, the "gifts" sounds like they are focused on gratitude, but they are also a way of affirming my testimony. Maybe that is my gift to readers, or just that I am grateful for my testimony.

I am grateful for my mission, and know that it was the right thing to do. for which I am also grateful.

That is impressive if we remember this post:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2016/12/sharing-that-i-cant-share.html 

That post is a week shy of being six years old. A lot has happened, but it is still an accurate summary of my feelings. I cannot do missionary work the way things currently are; but at one time it was absolutely what I needed and wanted to do.

Of course I learned and grew a lot on it. Some of that was very painful, and I understand much of it better now. 

Speaking of the passage of time, I am coming up on the 30th anniversary of my departure. That is a lot of water under the bridge, yet some things still feel so close. There are some expressions that are still more natural to me in Lao than in English. 

For gratitude, obviously I am grateful for what I learned. 

I am grateful for the people. I was not really able to maintain the majority of those relationships, but the love was real and I still feel that warmth.

(Not knowing how many of them voted for Trump helps.)

I am also grateful for how clearly I knew that I needed to go.

I had a testimony before, and felt the Spirit in various ways, but I'd never had that "burning in my bosom". 

The process of me being called to go -- when I had never wanted to -- included strong circumstantial hints that I tried to ignore, actually heard words, and then feeling like my whole being was full of fire and light. 

Given my initial attitude, that clarity was probably necessary, but it was also amazing to experience and know. Then, in the process of serving there was so much guidance, and inspiration. A mission is not the only experience where you can have that kind of link, but given the focus, serving as a missionary may invite the Spirit more than most other things you can do.

I remember navigating once when we did not have the full address or the map, but it felt important to go and it actually did end up mattering that we made it. 

I remember translating for Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin in a stake conference, and the words literally flowed through me without any thought. 

I remember knowing the right things to say sometimes that were beyond my own knowledge and language ability.

Of course I have a hard time with the way things are now, but it doesn't change the reality of what was.

Not too long ago I was reading my patriarchal blessing, and it mentioned bringing people into the Kingdom; it said "Kingdom" and not "Church". If I help people with other parts of their journey, maybe that is okay.

Otherwise, I feel like a lot of my path now is calling members to repentance (perfecting the Saints). Am I doing enough with this blog? With my callings and ministering? Well, I try; but I may not have that same clarity all the time now.

I do know that people matter, and I hope that my life reflects that.