The special gift

For my point today I am going to be making an analogy that can serve as food for thought for the week. There are two problems with the analogy.

One is that I don't have any good sources for the first part of the analogy. I have read people talking about it, it makes sense, but I know first-hand sources would be better, and I apologize for their absence.

The other risk is that it can be used incorrectly, so I am going to give a warning against that now.

When you examine various types of marginalization, there is a risk of taking too much from the comparisons. The common risk is that a group that is less marginalized will see some similarities to another group and decide "That's us now!" Probably without realizing it, they erase the other group from the present day, when it is very unlikely that the original group's oppression has ended.

Don't do that!

Having said that, here we go.

The thing that I have read but can't point you to is that Black people have a clear understanding of white ways that is not reciprocated. One useful result of this is that when people set up fake troll accounts pretending to be Black, they are not convincing. They mimic what they think is accurate, but they don't understand what they are trying to do.

In the context of tweets, in many cases it is the grammar. They see the use of African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) and think it is just bad English, not recognizing it as a language with its own rules. They could study the language, but that they are trolling anyway may indicate that they are not going to make the best use of their time.

My post is not really about that, but more about Black people understanding us (periodic reminder that I am white and I know it). This is about them being able to switch between dialects and social norms and ways of being, and how that competency came about.

In some ways it is easy because of white dominance. Celebrated authors are mainly white. Casts of movies and television shows are mostly white, and so are the writers and producers, which may have even more to do with the end product. The education system has been controlled by white people, and the point of views informing the text books - even if more liberal - are largely white. Legislators are mainly white. Yes, there are cries for diversity and sometimes some progress, but the white influence is ubiquitous. Even as we borrow from Black people, it gains acceptance and popularity through white people. That is why when you think of early rock and roll, you are more likely to think of Elvis than Sister Rosetta Tharpe.

Beyond the omnipresence of white culture, understanding it is also a safety matter. Black parents talk to their children about how to deal with the police in a manner that white parents don't need to. It's not fair, but it is necessary. Knowing which towns you can't be in after sundown is a life or death matter. Knowing how much likelier you are to be perceived as angry if you don't carefully control your voice can be a life or death matter, but it is frequently a career matter.

There are many discussions that can be had within this topic about intersectionality and structural racism, and we are not getting into that now. The point now is just that as a group that has faced prejudice and oppression and been expected to be deferential to white people, Black people understand white people really well.

Now, I want you to consider this excerpt from President Nelson's talk in the General Women's session in the last conference:

Men can and often do communicate the love of Heavenly Father and the Savior to others. But women have a special gift for it—a divine endowment. You have the capacity to sense what someone needs—and when he or she needs it. You can reach out, comfort, teach, and strengthen someone in his or her very moment of need.

Women see things differently than men do, and oh, how we need your perspective! Your nature leads you to think of others first, to consider the effect that any course of action will have on others.

Is that a gift or a necessity?

Think of that paragraph on white dominance and how easily it could be changed to a paragraph about male dominance and still be true.

I'm not saying it's only a survival mechanism; we are sensitive to the needs of other women too, they are careful to say. I will say that a lot of social conditioning goes into it. So, is that a special gift, where we expect it of women and not of men?

And if not, are men ready to give that up?