A Christmas gift

I was touched by the response to last week's post. It is good for me to see that I am not the only one, but I believe it is also good for them.

My patriarchal blessing focuses on gifts I have. At the time I really wanted to know what was in store for me, and that not happening was probably for the best, but I have come to appreciate what is in there anyway.

One of the things mentioned is my ability with my language. It is mentioned in conjunction with how it will help me reach out to other people, to learn about them and share with them. When I was sixteen that mainly seemed to mean by ability to learn other languages, but it applies to my native language too. Words are my thing, and that is for me, but it is also for others.

Looking at these dark times, I see how important it is to be brave and also how important it is to be kind. My bravery frequently seems to manifest through saying things that can really offend people. That may be a kindness to the people with similar feelings, but there could easily be an unkind aspect to it, when sometimes it feels like there is a "you idiot!" hanging on the end of every sentence.

It can be a tricky balance, but the gift I am giving will be to try and always keep that balanced. I will try and leave both no doubt of my beliefs and policies and stands, but that I will also try and leave no doubt of my love.

In practice this means that I will spend as much time as someone needs explaining why something is racist as long as their attempt to understand is sincere. If they are baiting, I will be explaining the stupidity as well, but I hope without name-calling.

(And "idiot" can be seen as an ableist slur because it was an actual diagnosis that could get people locked away at a time when there was more prejudice than science involved, in the shockingly recent past.)