I recently had a long message thread going with a friend who is getting married. The engagement is short, and the budget is small, so that puts some interesting constraints, and my sisters and I set up suggestions for her, and things to think about.
As the last letter was about getting married (and there is a good chance the next two will relate), I am adapting those tips and posting here. After all, a big key to preparedness and provident living is that you are thinking about things and making informed decisions, rather than just letting things happen. So, this kind of works, and if enough people act on the information in the last letter, maybe many people will need this.
Our friend already had already ordered the dress and found a person for the cake and for photography, so there won't be as much information there. It may be a little disjointed since I am combining things from three messages and some live conversation.
Pictures pretty much always take longer than planned, so allow a good amount of time for them. If you will want someone taking pictures both after the temple and at the reception, it may be easier if you are working with a friend or family member.
It sounds like you have already reserved the church building and made arrangements with the temple for the sealing. When we were talking with the woman at the temple, we talked about the marriage license (allow three days to process, good for two months), and that you will need a living ordinance recommend (so you need to meet with your bishops), so I assume those are covered.
It sounds like you have also already ordered the dress. If there are issues with that, I do have a friend who works at David’s Bridal, and maybe she will have suggestions if you need alterations. Along with the dress, you need to think about shoes, hose, jewelry, hair, and make-up. Do you want to do something old, new, borrowed, and blue? At least getting the tuxedo is relatively easy.
(Added: I was really impressed with the workers at the Soho Booth in Washington Square. They tried out different hairstyles, allowing different options, and were really helpful.)
The invitations can be hard, especially because you need to get them ready and mailed out really quickly. It may be best not to go to a traditional print shop for invitations, but instead, see what a copy shop will do. I would try Lazerquick, as they are usually less expensive and less busy than Kinkos. You can also probably get blanks at a party shop and then have the copy shop fill them in. (If you get thank you cards at the same time, you can get them to match.)
Flowers will be the other thing that could be difficult, since this is the height of wedding season and regular floral shops might be really busy. I normally recommend Westside Florists because they give you good value, but again, they might be busy. If you know people with gardens, something could probably be done homemade. Also, you can check at a farmer’s market, and I have a friend who works at the flower mart where the farmers sell to the florists, so she might have some ideas. You will want to think about a bouquet for you, boutonniere, possibly a headpiece, and then maybe décor like centerpieces or background greenery.
That leads to décor for the hall, which doesn’t have to be plant life. Some people do chair backings and tablecloths, or trellises. There are rental places that can help with this, but it depends what you want.
It sounds like you probably already have someone to do the cake. The next thing to consider is other food, which can run the gamut from some bowls of mints and nuts to hot foods or rolls and deli meats, along with plates, cups, and serving utensils. I really recommend looking at the Cash & Carry for this. They have really good prices, and a pretty good selection. You would have to pay cash, but it is affordable. (For napkins, though, you may want a party store to get kind of nicer ones in a wedding color.) We do have a small punch bowl, but you probably know someone with a bigger one.
(Sometimes a groom’s cake is fun. Our sister in law got Lance one shaped like a shoe. Partly it was to give him a chocolate cake, but the shoe was a joke between them that he was always putting his foot in his mouth.)
After that, most of the other concerns aren’t so much where to get things, but just what to do. The last reception we were at had live classical music, but we have been at ones with DJs or just pre-recorded CDs. Do you want dancing? Bouquet and garter tosses? Toasts? An official time for cake cutting? Sometimes people will want all of those things, or maybe special songs by family members, and they will print programs with the schedule of what happens when. That information can also go on the invitation. It is just something to think about.
You will probably want to get a guest book for people to sign, and you should definitely have a table set up for people dropping off presents. You may want to consider setting up some kind of photo display of the two of you. It is also frequent, but not necessary, to provide wedding favors, and/or something for the guests to throw at you when you leave. If you do want this, the party store is still probably the way to go. There is one right by Jones Farm that has a lot of wedding stuff.
I strongly recommend either getting a chauffeured car for the getaway, or having someone you trust guard the car, because people do stupid things to the cars of people getting married.
Have you thought about having a ring ceremony? It might be nice for your family, but sometimes it doesn’t feel right, like it is taking away from the temple. It might be better to have a nice family luncheon after the wedding, where the two families can celebrate together.
The big thing will be having people to help. I know Julie offered us to help decorate, but there is also clean-up, and serving food, cake, and punch. The good thing is, you can probably draw upon people in three wards.
For the honeymoon, think about appropriate packing based on activities (too early to know now, but it will go fast), and airport transportation.
On the issue of cake-cutting, people generally take on of two approaches. One is that the bride and groom cut the cake in about the middle of the reception, and then the cake gets served, but this way a lot of people never get cake. This can be fine, but I think usually they intend for everyone to get cake, and it just doesn't happen. There are probably more leftovers this way.
The other common occurrence is that they realize this will be an issue, so what they actually serve the guests is sheet cake, and the wedding cake is more for display. In this case, usually the top tier is saved for the first anniversary, the middle tier is for the bride and groom to slice at the reception, and the bottom tier is a big hunk of foam, frosted like cake. This way is probably easiest in terms of serving, because the sheet cake is easier to slice, but I don't like the thought of wasting perfectly good frosting on styrofoam.
Honestly, I am not sure what I would do myself. I might just slice the cake right at the beginning of the reception. Sure, not many people would see it happen, but how big of a deal is that?
Anyway, those are the issues, so you can think about what you prefer.
By the way, there are guides to cutting on-line, which I think is kind of cool, but if you do it this way I don't see how the thread/floss method can work:
http://www.wilton.com/cakes/cake-cutting-guides/wedding-cake-cutting-guide.cfm
http://www.baking911.com/cakes/cutting_guide.htm
For the number of food crew, it depends on what you are doing. It sounds like you have three tables of food, plus one punch table, and one cake table. You could have one person in charge of each table, but depending on what is being served, and whether or not it needs any in-kitchen preparation, what the adequate number would be could vary widely. I know. That's not very specific.
If the caterer has everything ready and on trays, and the kitchen person is just taking out full trays to replace empty trays, and they don't have to deal with the cake, then I think 3, or maybe even 2 people would be enough. This kind of overlaps with clean-up, but it would be good to add another kitchen person who floats around and clears empty plates and cups from the tables. Some people will throw out their own, but not everyone will.
Julie strongly recommends having someone who keeps an eye on the guest book, favors, and gift table, which ideally will all be near each other. This person would kind of act like a greeter, and can keep anything from going missing. Maybe have two people alternate so they can spend some time inside.
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