Trying to be like Jesus - parables

My plan is for these next three posts to focus on Jesus as a teacher, including the perfection of his teaching and our imperfection in learning. Parables are an important part of that.

Previous posts have hit on three related concepts:

• He often healed in a way that emphasized faith, helping the person healed to understand the role of their faith better and to strengthen it.
• That was done by understanding who the person was and what they needed to learn.
• It often involved them taking some time to ponder after the healing.

While those were very individual experiences, when he was teaching it was often a multitude. Teaching in parables allowed room for the listeners to learn individually in a manner that was suited to them.

Mark 4:11-12
And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables:

That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them. 

That sounds like he is against others being healed, but there is nothing in his conduct of constantly teaching and physically healing that backs that up. However, when you do understand a truth, there is a responsibility to live up to it. To make commitments you are not ready to keep is not good (we had a post about that too). Teaching in parables allowed people to glean the truth that they were ready for.

I have seen this happen with personal prayers as well. One thing I worried about a lot when I was younger was whether I would get married. I remember at times receiving an assurance that it would be okay, and that I didn't have to worry. That was true. I was never told that I would marry, which would not have been true.

I was also not told that I would be 45 and single. That would have been true, but it would have been devastating at 21 (one of the times I remember). I would have worried about that a lot. I got the answer that helped for that time, and that worked.

Now, while I still have not ruled it out, it seems more likely than not that I will not marry in this life. That thought is not unbearable now, but part of what it took was time spent seeing the ways in which my life could be fulfilling and good while single. I know more, and so I can accept more.

That happens with parables too. As our experience and depth of understanding increases, we can notice new aspects of a parable that we had thought we understood pretty well.

My favorite parable is probably the one with the sower, and as I garden more and learn more about that, different things do come to me.

Years ago, when I was teaching Sunday School, I remember the most important part for me being that none of the soils were hopeless. Maybe they needed plowing or weeding or working in some way, but they could get there.

Recently I learned that rocks in soil slowly release minerals into the soil. Having been previously frustrated by attempts to clear all the rocks from ground I wanted to plant, that gave me pause; those rocks have a purpose! (Which is good, because getting rid of all of them seems to be impossible.)

That doesn't hurt the interpretation of the parable. The stony soil still had too many, but it is nice to know that even if you haven't gotten rid of all your hardness of heart (which again seems nearly impossible), that there can still be a place for the word to take hold.

About Savannah's testimony

Yes, this is an interruption in the topic we have been covering, though it can relate.

If you don't know, there is a video making the rounds of a 12 year old girl bearing her testimony and it includes that she is gay, and believes that God made her that way and it wasn't a mistake, and that He would not want her to have to live her life alone or with someone she is not attracted too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_0nhyP6dU4

That would have generated some attention on its own, but at one point a member of the stake presidency shut off her mike, asked her to sit down, and then had the bishop (I think) bear his testimony. Many people are calling this cowardice on the presidency member's part, which is fair. For what it's worth, hearing what the bishop said, I think he said better things than the presidency member would have, because he did affirm Savannah's worth and faith. I do not think they should have turned off the microphone, and really, after a lifetime in the church, considering some of the things that they let people say, yeah, they just should have let her finish.

This post isn't really so much about Savannah though as about being a believing Mormon who is not a homophobe, and the very tricky balancing act that can be.

Bigotry is getting worse, and finding it in your church is sickening. I know for some people the easy answer is to leave the church, or make a big stink until it fully embraces all sexual identities, neither of which I have chosen to do. That isn't without thought, and I hope that my thoughts may be helpful to some people who are suffering. Maybe Pride is as good a time as any to do that.

For long-time readers, I have written about homosexuality before and following prophets and knowing that prophets are not perfect and seeing how we get infected by the world. I have seen historically cases where things that were socially normal were assumed to be true, and sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't.

I do not pretend to have anything to say about what the doctrine should be. Frankly, the more I learn about sexuality and gender, the more I realize how little we understand (something else I have written about). I do not fit anywhere into LGBTQIA, and I am confident that it is not my place to tell anyone who does how to live their lives. I have my own things to figure out.

I do know that while the church could be better in some ways, what is stated on the church web site is friendlier to gays that most members. A good first step for a lot of us could be catching up with that.

I also see a huge issue in the response to the uncertainty being to silence. It feels bad being hateful, but you can't believe they can be right, so you would rather just never hear about it. This is the kind of attitude that gets microphones shut off, but it is also an attitude that breaks and hardens hearts. That attitude means that if there are straight members with gay family members whose hearts ache when they hear about things like this, that we would rather not hear about their pain and share that burden. Remember Mosiah 18:9? It's an attitude that lets you resent gay teenagers and wish you didn't have to hear from them, even though they need love and support and they have a high suicide rate.

There is no reason to believe that ignoring an issue will make it better. Yes, sometimes answers may be unsatisfactory: I am not sure how all of this will work out, but I know that these people are valuable and I love them - that can get you through more than you think. Besides, if there is one thing I have learned with my studying of racism, it's that initial discomfort is necessary - you cannot progress without facing it.

I do not doubt there are frustrations with our leadership. I get that. Often in conferences I will feel like they are so close to coming right out and saying the way we as members need to change, but it feels like they fall short, without driving it home. (And other times I get mad and turn off the TV; I am not claiming no room for improvement.)

Here's the thing. I can picture them coming right out and saying that the bigotry is wrong, or that some conservative right-wing policy is wrong, or maybe even that Trump is wrong, at which point I envision a mass exodus from the church. That may be inevitable.

If they continue to speak softly for a while in the hopes that more people will hear the hints, and soften and be ready, I can't fault that. There are ways in which the soft hints are more easily heard than the blunt statements, even while they are also more easily ignored.

I don't know how things are going to play out, but when I look at the difficulties involved I can feel a lot of compassion for a lot of different people, and I am going to stick with that. As things currently are, I do not want to leave the church because I do not want only the people who are not bothered by bigotry to be the sole members and representatives of the church. I do worry about it. I don't know a way not to worry about it, except that as I choose love I am more likely to feel peace.

I also cannot rule out that there may be a time when I will need to conscientiously object - where I might choose to leave or I might do something within that gets me excommunicated. I think that's less likely, but it is a possibility.

I will do what I can live with, and I will make those choices by continuing to pray, continuing to read the scriptures and apply them, continuing to try.

That is all I know how to do.

Trying to be like Jesus - the poor

For the poor always ye have with you; but me ye have not always. - John 12:8

Although we covered the story of Mary of Bethany anointing Jesus last week, this particular line sticks out at me, and I wanted to return to it.

The main reason it sticks out is because it feels like such an indictment: no matter how many things I have told you about serving each other, and the obstacle wealth is to your salvation, 2000 years will go by and you will still be getting it wrong.

It's not how he is saying it there. Mary is doing something for this specific time, and she will not get another chance. Yes, she could save the ointment for his actual burial, but she wants him to be present, and to know, and time is running out for that. His mortal ministry is coming to a close and there is a sense of urgency.

Timeliness can be an important factor in decision-making, but so can perspective. Knowing that we will not get it right in thousands of years may give us some leeway to seek happiness where we can.

I am a big fan of L.M. Montgomery. In her Emily books there is a person in the community, Aunt Janey, who has forsworn silk dresses until all the world is converted. I think at the time a woman in that economic class would have one silk dress at a time - so one nicer dress, with the others being less expensive. It was not extravagant, but having that nicer dress would cost a small sum of extra money, and for Janey any extra was going to go to missionary work. It is never implied that she is any less than sincere; she truly wants everyone converted and this is the sacrifice she can make for it. If that felt right for her, that can be a good decision.

It probably also would not have much impact on missionary efforts, even if she were not a fictional character. Therefore, it could also be a fine decision to have one nicer dress. If that's what you like, if you feel nicer when you are wearing that dress than the other dresses, that can be a good thing.

I know these posts get repetitive: You can do the things you want! You can be yourself! I still find value in reiterating that Jesus does not show contempt for the joys and pleasures of ordinary life. If we are working to build a more just world where everyone can have those pleasures, then we must believe in them too. And if we are working against horrible odds where it will really only be resolved by Christ's return, then we might as well balance our work toward an eternal reward with also enjoying small rewards all along the way.

It is so easy for religious people to become cranks and sourpusses, caught up in the wickedness around them and thoroughly disheartened. There is still good all around too, and many opportunities for enjoyment.

If there are often reasonable questions about the best balance, don't worry so much about the specifics, but focus on the overall result. I always go back to Galatians 5:22:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,"

If I am feeling those things, then I am probably doing all right. If not, then I need to examine that and adjust.

Go forth with a good heart.

Trying to be like Jesus - serving as you will

I have mentioned already that the overarching theme of this seems to be a respect for individuality.

In more recent posts that has included seeing that some people are ready for higher levels of commitment, without it taking anything away from those who serve on a smaller level. There are always ways to serve.

Beyond that, at the same level of ability there may be many different options of how to use those abilities. It would be a mistake to assume that there is always a set rank of which uses are better. It can be situational, and I suspect preference can be reason enough.

Let's look at Mary of Bethany. In Luke 10 we read of a time when she left the kitchen to sit at Jesus' feet as a disciple.

It was unconventional for a woman to do this, but that did not bother Jesus. Women were frequently among his disciples and continued to play an important role through and after his death.

It did bother Martha - left alone in the kitchen - who came to complain.

Reading the account, lots of people will look down on Martha for her narrow focus, but might not remember to apply it when they are trying to get a big family meal ready and someone goes out to entertain people who will later be eating that food. Siblings have been known to judge each other's choices.

Possibly what Martha was trying to do was unnecessarily elaborate, but we don't know. I can easily imagine that with Jesus there, many other people were also there. That seems like a reason to worry about feeding them, but he fed multitudes when needed.

Certainly the opportunity to listen to Jesus teach was more important. He reminded Martha of that, but not sternly. She could have been cooking fancier food than was needed, but maybe she enjoyed cooking and was good at it. He does not tell Martha that what she is doing was bad, but it is not needful. Striking a balance with all that we can and should do isn't always easy. Fortunately, there is no one better at understanding how we can be slow learners, and adjusting the lesson to our needs.

Oddly, Luke is the one gospel that does not have the other story where Mary's choices are criticized, for which we can go to Matthew 26, Mark 14, or John 12.

John 12
2 There they made him a supper; and Martha served: but Lazarus was one of them that sat at the table with him.

3 Then took Mary a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped his feet with her hair: and the house was filled with the odour of the ointment.

4 Then saith one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, which should betray him,

5 Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor?

6 This he said, not that he cared for the poor; but because he was a thief, and had the bag, and bare what was put therein.

7 Then said Jesus, Let her alone: against the day of my burying hath she kept this.

8 For the poor always ye have with you; but me ye have not always.

Selling the ointment and giving it to the poor would be a good thing to do. There were undoubtedly many other good things that could be done with it, but Mary appears to have understood that he was going to die soon.


No matter how many times Jesus told them, his followers seemed to put that aside. It would have been very hard to accept, and it was not the understood role of the Messiah; he was supposed to be their king and free them.

This act comes across as an acknowledgement of all of the contradiction: I accept you as the Son of God, and I accept that you are going to leave us. I need to show my love and mourning now, while you are still here.

And he accepted that, just as he accepted her desire to listen before, and just as he accepted her desire to have her brother live (despite delaying that desire so he could show others his power over death).

It is not always like that. Sometimes it is very clear that there are specific things we need to do, and the choice is only whether or not to obey. Whether that is because of the need of someone else, or our need to have the experience, well, sometimes even when we think we understand we find out later there was more to it.

It is also common to have times when there is not clarity as to what we should do or what will be best. In times like that it can be very encouraging to remember that the one we serve will accept many different gifts, caring more about the heart that offers them.

Trying to be like Jesus - what John said

Although in my current studies I am really trying to focus on what Jesus is doing - and how I can apply that to my own life - I frequently do think of those around him: those listening, those being healed, and those opposing him. There are ways in which it is easier to relate.

It's not just that there are very specific differences when you are the only begotten Son of God, but in the time that we are seeing, Jesus is on a relatively brief and concentrated mission. I have been a missionary, and it is different. There were things I planned to keep going in my regular life, but that level of focus is special and not generally possible.

Luke 3

10 And the people asked him, saying, What shall we do then?

11 He answereth and saith unto them, He that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise.

12 Then came also publicans to be baptized, and said unto him, Master, what shall we do?

13 And he said unto them, Exact no more than that which is appointed you.

14 And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, And what shall we do? And he said unto them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages.

This is not from Jesus, but from John. However, Jesus endorsed John pretty clearly; I feel okay referencing it.

I like the specific examples as asked. There is a general counsel for sharing and generosity: Be aware of the needs around you, and don't hoard. That is a good starting point for anyone.

But then, as specific people ask, it can be tailored.

Because of their positions, publicans and soldiers had specific temptations to abuse the system and the people caught up in it. Often this would be a way of accumulating wealth, so the prior counsel remains applicable.

On a broader note, there should be an ethical and moral way to fulfill your job. It can be good to think about your specific job, and how that either supports or undercuts the greater good.

In the past two posts we have talked about people asking to forsake all. That will sometimes be the right answer, but it is more common to still be engaged with the world, and to need to earn a living. It may be a manner of labor that others look down on, but can you do it in an honorable manner? Then there is no shame in that.

After all, John knew about preparing the way. There may be a day when you cast aside your nets, but until that time there is still great benefit in using your nets honorably.

Trying to be like Jesus - inspiring

I suppose the most important part (for me) of seeing a form of personalization in each interaction is the story of the Syrophenician woman.

Matthew 15:21-28 and Mark 7:1-23

It doesn't sound great on its own, and racism is a hot button for me. Usually the best explanations I hear are that the word he used for "dog" was for beloved pets, but street curs, with a reminder that she took his analogy and extended it. He did have a short amount of time to accomplish a lot, and that specific mission was focused on the House of Israel.

That could make sense if the healing took considerable time or resources, though there is really no indication of that. If we look at it as Jesus being unwilling to heal the daughter because it was outside of his mission, but then relenting, it could also make sense, but I don't believe he ever intended to withhold the healing. He knew what he could and should do, and what he shouldn't, and was very committed to his mission. If there were a reason not to heal, I believe he would not have done it.

Looking at it in that light, his engagement with the woman is more likely about her, and building her faith.

It is possible she saw Jesus as someone with a special gift, but not as the son of God. There exchange may have given her a better understanding of who he was. It is also possible that she was already a believer, or starting to be, but because she was not going to have a real community of faith for some time she was going to need some determination, and she was learning this. It could have been her way of learning the need for persistence, whereas others would learn by pondering the parable of the unjust judge (Luke 18:1-8).

Ultimately I trust this incident to have been designed for her good, because I trust Jesus to be constantly working for our good. I also trust him not to be racist, while fully understanding that there are people who have and continue to justify their racism scripturally.

The part that is missing from the scriptural account is what he knew about each person. Sometimes we can guess, especially if something sounds familiar to our own hearts, but there is a lot that we don't know and that at the time his disciples probably did not know. When endeavoring to serve the Lord, our own lack of knowledge can feel like a horrible handicap.

There are two stories that are easy to compare that may give us some clues.

One is that sometimes it may be best not to give all of the information right away. This happens with the rich young ruler.

"Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?"

That Jesus not only gives the basic commandments but asks "Why callest thou me good?" gives the young man an out. You know the basics, and you are doing them. And Jesus loved him for that! It was not judgmental.

But asked for an additional diagnosis - because even doing well the young ruler sensed there was more - Jesus answered honestly. It wasn't an answer for everyone, because not everyone has to give everything away. That Jesus could ask the young ruler to follow him shows that this person had great possibilities. In fact, his riches were a stumbling block.

Realistically, it appears to have been one he could have waited to face. Some people grow more attached to their wealth over time, but he could also have learned more perspective over the next few years. There is a part of me that thinks that if you have a chance to do something great, go for it, but sometimes you may need to grow more. In addition to having some patience with ourselves (balanced with a desire to do what is right), we should have compassion on others. Raise them up, but don't pull them harder than would be good for them. Sometimes you don't have to do very much.

That brings us to the story of Zacchaeus, one of my favorites. All Jesus asked for was dinner, but it was more than that. He saw someone, and he saw potential and called him by name. The request was small, but the inspiration was great. On his own there was a giving away of many riches, some as charity, some as recompense for prior wrongs. Others judged, but Jesus called and rejoiced.

Even with our limited wisdom, we can see others, appreciate their current good, and hope for their future good.

It starts with just looking to see.

Trying to be like Jesus - potential followers

Mark 5
18 And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him.

19 Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.

20 And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men did marvel.

We already covered how Jesus instructing someone to tell others, rather than not to tell, was different, but in this case it made sense: the healing was known, and it scared people. The testimony of the healed man could then show the good of the event, especially for his friends. Retelling the story would also solidify the significance in his mind.

Having something to do may have made the separation from Jesus less painful. I can empathize with the desire to stay close to the person who saved you, but it also makes sense that after having been through so much, this is a good time for the recently possessed man to rest. Journeying and throngs and condemnation from the Pharisees would probably not be the ideal recuperation period for him. It did not mean his desire to follow was not sincere, but it might not have been wise. There were still other means of service open to him, and Jesus gave him one that was appropriate and helpful.

In that light, dismissals that at first seem harsh may turn out to be kind.

Luke 9
57 And it came to pass, that, as they went in the way, a certain man said unto him, Lord, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest.

58 And Jesus said unto him, Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.

59 And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.

60 Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.

61 And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house.

62 And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

This was a man who had called fishermen at their nets and a publican at his table to follow him, but they were people who were ready. It seems likely these other people were not ready, even if their desire to be ready was real.


The great healer was a great diagnostician. That is logical. His insight and wisdom can be hard for us to emulate, weaker and less perfect as we are, but there are things we can learn.

For these three examples, perhaps it is there in their request to follow him. Two of them build delays into their offers. Perhaps their answer isn't even so much "No" as a warning about the level of commitment required.

You can come, but you will be homeless. You can come, but you will be separated from your family, and not available to fulfill responsibilities to them. There can be room to either decide to skip the burial and the goodbyes, or to legitimately decide that they are not ready yet. Maybe someone who was more ready would have said "goodbye" first, before offering himself as a follower.

Through it all there is a desire for the best outcome for the person and a knowledge of what that will be.

Luke 14: 28  For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? 

I recently kept putting off starting one project, eventually realizing that I was not ready for the time commitment. I did not immediately know why it felt wrong, and I know that I will get to it at a more appropriate time. Desire and ability do not always mesh, but there is always something we can do to grow, and there is someone who knows what we can and should do.

There are two good examples of this that I will save for next week.