Love one another

As I mentioned last week, the assigned topic for my talk was "How can we become disciples of Christ?"

My first thought was, That's easy! It's right in John 13:

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

Perfect! Shortest talk ever! 

On further examination, well, maybe that's not how you become disciples, it's how people know that you are disciples. Loving would probably still be a big part of the discipleship, but is it how you become one?

I am willing to believe that there may be steps to becoming a disciple where people know it. (I am also positive that the way people know it is not by you telling them.)

It used to bother me when people would say that you have to love others before you can love yourself. I knew that I loved others and I had some issues loving myself. 

As I have become more okay with myself, I love others much better. Being self-conscious often got in the way of expressing, accepting, and acting on love.

One problem is the phrasing. "Before you can" makes it sound like an on/off switch; you either love others or you don't. That's the part that makes the statement false, before we even get to whether you love yourself and all the things that can make that hard.

So, believing that loving others (and ourselves) is not a binary but a spectrum, I find it possible to believe that becoming a disciple has steps that result in us loving others (and ourselves) more. 

Then when we have achieved that level of love, that's when others will know.

I did not end up referencing the resource talk, Elder John A. McCune's "Joy Through Covenant Discipleship" a lot while I was speaking. I read it every day while preparing. There wasn't anything irritating me about it (which I cannot say about every conference talk), but there wasn't anything strongly resonating with me either. 

When it was my turn to teach the Relief Society lesson, I knew right away which one I wanted; I knew it when I first read it. (This one.) Elder McCune's talk just wasn't having the same impact.

That made me glad that it was only a resource rather than the topic. 

I did still find a way to bring it in, with some of the examples he included of people whose warmth and love and joy you feel. 

That included a mission president in Mongolia, who drew the attention of a woman in a store who later ended up joining the church. 

It included that woman and her family, who were enthusiastic and joyful about learning more and knowing what to do.

It also included President Nelson, who was kind and loving to the McCunes, making them feel like the most important people in the world, but later they found out that was the same day one of his daughters died of cancer.

A new member, a mission president, and a prophet are all on different places along the path, but they were all able to find joy and reassurance -- even in the face of difficulties and loss -- for where they were.

It's important to remember that even as more knowledge and more ability and more experience are in the future, there can still be love, reassurance, and joy right here and now and all along the way.

I had thought I was going to write about a different progression, but that's not how it went.

There is always more to learn and think about.

We'll probably get to that one next week.