This is not about the Apocalypse, though that is coming.
This is just about death.
Yes, we are still dealing with details of my father's death and my mother's deterioration. That may influence some of my thoughts, but this comes more from something else.
In our circle of acquaintance there is someone else's mother who is dying from cancer. They are working very hard to grant her every whim.
On one level that is very understandable, but there are things about this that have not felt right. That is largely because she has been a very selfish and kind of mean person. Still, they love her, they are losing her... we are not going to tell them how to deal with it.
Last week I was reading in the April 2017 General Women's session and read "Trust in the Lord and Lean Not" by Sister Bonnie H. Cordon:
She shared the story of another woman who faced a cancer diagnosis with a low (17%) survival rate. She found the chemo so difficult that she wanted to stop fighting, and told her husband that.
In his wisdom, my sweetheart patiently listened and then responded, ‘Well, then we need to find someone to serve.’
That sounds insensitive, and maybe even condescending, except that he was also right.
“Service,” Amy testifies, “saved my life. Where I ultimately found my strength to keep moving forward was the happiness I discovered in trying to relieve the suffering of those around me. I looked forward to our service projects with great joy and anticipation. Still to this day it seems like such a strange paradox. You would think that someone who was bald, poisoned, and fighting for [her] life was justified in thinking that ‘right now it is all about me.’ However, when I thought about myself, my situation, my suffering and pain, the world became very dark and depressing. When my focus turned to others, there was light, hope, strength, courage, and joy. I know that this is possible because of the sustaining, healing, and enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”
As it was, she lived. I don't know that the service is why she lived, but it is why she was able to bear it.
I believe it would also have better prepared her for death if it had come at that time.
That's not saying that there can't be a balance. If there are things that she wants to do again or people she wants to see again, of course do that.
As it is, it sounds like her greatest pleasure is in the catering, and I am not sure that will transfer well onto the other side.
It would also be hard to change from a life of selfishness (and a little bit of meanness) in just six months, I still think any efforts to that end are a good idea.
We can all be sure that we will die. I am equally sure that will not be the end.
I was taught long ago that the only things you carry with you are your personality, your relationships, and your intelligence.
If those are yours to keep (maybe the memories will take a vacation before you die, but they will come back), then that is worth some effort, and preparation.
And if death is quickly stalking all of us, then it becomes more urgent.
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