Being here

There is a parable of laborers in the vineyard where more workers keep joining later, and they get the same pay. The early laborers expected that their pay rate would be raised, compared to the others.

(Matthew 20:1-16)

One thing I have always thought with it is that the earliest workers were blessed for having more time in the vineyard; there is joy and peace in that. 

No, maybe not if it is literal harvesting of grapes or olives. I have harvested grapes and it can be hot and dirty, and come with muscle aches as you keep going.

However, if we are looking at it as having knowledge of the Gospel, having the gift of the Holy Ghost, having faith, hope, and charity... that is a blessing.

I am happier having that.

There are factors that I know may not be universal.

I have a fairly cheerful disposition, and rebound from disappointments pretty quickly, most of the time. That is not true for everyone, and it is probably a factor that makes things easier for me.

At the same time, I feel like my relationship with Heavenly Father and the influence of the Holy Ghost are a part of that resilience. I have times that are tough and hurt a lot. Faith is not an anesthetic, but it does help make things bearable.

My sisters and I are tired all the time. There may be other reasons, but I think part of it is this slow loss of our mother. It wears us down, but we don't despair over it.

That may be a blessing of discipleship.

We have one friend who sees the potential for people to not be interested in church membership because of all of the work, from church attendance to fulfilling callings.

I don't see it that way.

I mean, we have had many Sundays where we did not make it to church on time. Right now, with two of us working on Relief Society activities, nights when there are activities are lost nights. 

So, I do get it, but also I find it rewarding. 

Well, not church -- not as much as I would like it to be (that is a change) -- but visiting teaching and ministering and callings have all been good things for me. I have learned things and developed talents and built friendships, and I think there is a lot to enjoy there.

Of course, a lot of people don't do them, but I think they are missing out.

Now, there is one other area where I think I have it easier, and this is a hotter subject. 

I don't have any immediate relatives who are LGBTQIA+.

I had not thought of it so much until a friend asked me if I had any advice for something related to their child. I felt a little bad that I did not have much to offer, but I realized the potentially good part of that is that I don't have to guard anyone. There might be times when others need to limit their words to protect a child; but not me.

(I have written this before, but I decided a long time ago that while I have no plans to leave, if at some point excommunication comes up and it feels like my integrity dictates that I accept that, I will.)

So I know people for whom it would be much harder to feel comfortable at church, and who have had other members actively work against their comfort. I hate that, but I do not face the same impact. While there are people that I care about a lot, none of them are people that I feel compelled to protect. (Yes, that could change, but it still won't be parental.)

What I am leading toward is that there should be joy in your faith, even with the pain. 

There are things that can make it very hard to feel that joy.

If that is due to other people, it may be hard to fix, but if there is something in you that needs to change, work on that, for your sake and for the sake of the joy.

And if you are not sure, this is an area where you can seek wisdom.

For all of our own imperfections -- individually and collectively -- God is perfect and can make up the difference.