Week off

I was traveling this weekend. I thought I could still post, but for a good post it's better to take this week off.

Wishing you well.

Endurance

I am very sad and angry today.

I am going to write about that Tuesday, on the main blog. It does still influence my thoughts today.

What I have been writing previously relates to our having a loving Father in Heaven, and that the more we know about the revealed plan of salvation, then the love and the logic unfolds. 

That includes the existence of suffering and people being terrible, but what I must not neglect to mention is that it hurts. 

The pain is real.

Going through it is hard.

That is the pain of living, and the pain of living as others die.

Does having perspective on that make it easier?

Ultimately, in some ways it does, but it still hurts a lot.

That pain can make you more compassionate, or it can make you resentful and cruel.

That may not feel like a choice, but it is and it's a choice that is vitally important.

Justice and mercy both get satisfied, and healing happens. Eventually.

Hold on to love.

 

 

Agency

So often when I find people who don't believe in God and are angry at the very idea of God, it is because of the suffering that is allowed. In other words ...

Why do bad things happen to good people?

It is easy to look around and wonder when there is so much that is clearly wrong, and so based in cruelty.

Obviously, that happens through the choices people make.

Previously, when I have thought about that, I have thought about how I ultimately do value my ability to choose, and would not give that up easily. In addition, I know that I have learned and grown from making these choices. While it would have been hard to have said at the start of any trial, Yes, I want to go through this, I usually can see the value in retrospect.

Recently I have been thinking about another aspect of that, with Abraham being asked to sacrifice Isaac.

It seems like such a cruel request, and something that under other circumstances would be seen as sinful. 

I believe that both Abraham and Isaac learned and grew from that, and they were willing to submit to it. 

I suspect that part of what they learned was a greater understanding of the Atonement, and the roles of the Father and the Son in that Atonement, along with its saving power as there was a substitute provided for Isaac.

It seems likely that for where they were already at in their spiritual journey, that's what was needed for their next step toward completeness.

Yet still, it seems cruel and makes a lot of people uncomfortable.

So, being here with all of us running around making choices, rather than having every single trial custom-made for us by God, turns out to be pretty effective. With understanding of the plan we also don't have to feel like God is picking on us.

We can get closer to God, asking for support and understanding. We can feel our own healing through the Atonement, and we can have assurance that all will be healed in time, for us and for others.

All of those are remarkable things. I am grateful for that knowledge and learning. I am wiser and my heart is more tender.

I'm not saying it is easier, and I am not saying I am never angry. This is the other thing that's important with that.

First of all, we should do anything we can to help and not harm. This can involve giving time and money, speaking comforting words and writing petitions and it may even include demonstrating or stepping into a conflict at personal risk. Knowing the best thing isn't always easy, but we care, we believe in doing what's right, and we believe in helping.

Ways we might get this wrong include assuming that everyone suffering brought it upon themselves. That is the common Republican failing. 

The common Democrat failing is deferring to power too much, and going too slowly. 

The common Progressive failing is getting mad at the Democrats -- apparently believing that all of the delay is choice, as opposed to some things actually not being within their power -- and then being spiteful and dishonest. It includes making new problems for other people instead of helping the original people.

I mean, there are a lot of ways of being wrong. As we get closer to an election, I am sure I will spend more time on those.

Still, the overall point is that we all have agency, and that is what we need, even though there are things that are hard about it.

Our successful navigation of that will require prayer and humility. It will leave us kinder and more loving, with more grace for others and ourselves.

If your primary feelings are contempt for others -- for almost everyone, in fact -- you are probably not where you need to be, but I hope that you get there. 

I hope that we get there together. 

Just talking

As I am holding forth on the logical, it seems like every now and then there should also be some tips. 

If so much of this is predicated on a father who loves us; what if you don't know or feel that?

There are parents who can make that much harder. Sometimes even I am surprised that I don't picture Heavenly Father as similar to my earthly one, but I feel very fortunate.

When we teach people to pray, we focus on things like using respectful language, starting by addressing Heavenly Father and closing in the name of Jesus Christ, and that we both thank for what we have already received as well as asking for what we want.

There is nothing wrong with that, and remembering those things is important. 

I especially get the value of both remembering to thank and ask. When there is a pressing concern, it is easy to just focus on that and forget all of the good things that have happened or are available. Sometimes you just want to launch into the concern because it is overpowering all of your other thoughts.

Remembering that structure can be one solution; No! I've got to thank first!

Doing so is probably good for keeping perspective and not catastrophizing.

I am going to add two other possibilities.

One is that if you have prayers that are heavy on the asking, you could also at times have prayers that only thank, or one where you thank for many things and then only ask for one thing. Praying more often and thinking about the kinds of prayers you are praying can be great.

The other thing is that in the realm of asking and telling, there is not only thanking and asking. Sometimes you can just pour out your heart.

I am sad. I am scared. This really hurt. I couldn't believe he said that. Is this ever going to get better?

Okay, that last one is asking again.

It turns it into more of a conversation, and one where you demonstrate faith (or at least begin to) that someone is there.

You might worry that it is a one-sided conversation.

It's not. You may not immediately feel it.

The greatest gift of healing through the Atonement I ever had came after just pouring my heart out until it was empty one night. I did that and I felt nothing.

I don't know whether it had been so emotional that I didn't realize I poured out my pain, or if it needed more time, but in the morning it was just gone. It took me a while to realize it, because I had gotten so used to hurting. I just know it worked.

I can't rule out that part of the value is that taking your troubles to God is a sign of faith that you matter; you are important enough that God listening to you is reasonable.

I do know that is true.