I was at a meeting recently for youth leaders (yes, it was a church meeting) where the question came up of how to love and support the youth as they navigate gender identity questions among their peers.
Yes, it was a church meeting asking about loving and supporting. I am glad that is something they are thinking about.
In general I thought it was handled pretty well. If anyone is wondering, policy is that we address people by their preferred name, though there was one set of parents that requested the leaders continue using the birth name (dead-naming), and I did hear one person bristling as they said the words "gender-neutral name".
There was also a tactfully stated concern about reaching out for someone who is not coming to participate in Young Women's when they do not feel like a young woman... like ignoring them seems wrong, but reaching out seems disrespectful... I get the concern. As it is, in terms of changing organizations or something, that goes to the bishop, and I think that's is reasonable, though I don't know that it would work out well.
The topic of this post is more from one question where someone started talking about being aware of the bubble the youth are in. Her claim was that the national average is only 10% transgender, whereas in Beaverton School District it is 40%, and kids are always being asked "what" they are.
This is where all of my hackles went up, along with my hand.
Regarding the data, I don't believe she intentionally lied but I think there is bad misunderstanding there. That could relate to our frequent difficulty in sorting out gender and sexuality, which are different, even if they can all be celebrated at Pride (though some of the gatekeeping that happens there... that's another story.)
I did recently see that 43% of transgender Americans are young adults or teenagers. That is not regional, but may indicate that older people who remained closeted for years may find it easier to remain there.
Otherwise, the numbers remain pretty consistent.
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/trans-adults-united-states/
This includes percentages by state and region. Neither Oregon (1.8% 13-17, 1.57% 18-24) nor the West (1.62% 13-17, 1.14% 18-24) are particularly high.
The page states that this includes gender-nonconforming, so that should also take in non-binary youth.
Now, let's look at the United States over all, by age:
13 - 17: 1.43%
18 - 24: 1.31%
25 - 64: .45%
over 65: .32%
Yes, more youth (and young adults) are gender-nonconforming than adults, but I don't think the rate has changed.
I think what has changed is that not only is there more ability to know that these are things, and that if you somehow feel different from how you "should" be that you are not the only one, but also there is more likelihood of being able to find support for that.
Which is wonderful unless you consider it to be an abomination, or if you think it is all fake pressure brought on by Babylon.
The main thing I said - and I didn't turn over tables, and I think I helped one other person say something, and I know I helped another person not have to say something - was that viewing it in this way is not going to be loving or respectful, because you are coming with the attitude that these things that they feel and are trying to figure out are not real.
I know so many youth not in the church who are straight and gender-conforming, but what they are is supportive of other people. That is wonderful. That is what the "Don't Say Gay" people are fighting against, and we should not be on their side.
Even the church officially says that the feelings aren't a sin. If we ever really disentangle chastity from patriarchy we could really have something there.
I promise you that keeping the ignorance there doesn't help anyone deal with it better. Yes, letting them voice their thoughts and feelings and identities, and find support for them, may result in choices that you don't like, but more choices are available with more knowledge, including more good choices.
The other thing I said referred to an earlier part of the meeting where we were looking at numbers, and they had gone down.
I know lots of heterosexual cisgender young people through my friends outside of the church, but I also know quite a few youth and young adults who are bisexual or nonbinary or transgender or homosexual. I know them because I know their parents from church, and none of them are currently coming to church. In some cases their siblings and parents aren't either.
If there is peer pressure, maybe the pressure is to accept and care for others rather than trying to force people to deny things that are core to their being.
We have lost some youth for not being supportive of their siblings or parents. We might lose some for not being supportive of their friends or classmates or teachers.
And we might have a hard time bringing in any new members who aren't bigots.
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