Preparing to make good decisions

It's hard to think about much but Hurricane Sandy right now, in terms of disaster preparedness.

This has been growing on me. Initially, people were only sounding interested or worried about inconvenience, and I hope they're right. Cancelling Halloween activities seems tragic, but it only is in the absence of a high death toll or losing your home. It's that whole perspective thing again.

It is helping to crystallize my thoughts a lot in terms of blog posts that should be happening: emergency plans, 72-hour kits, water safety, evacuation, and food storage. For anyone on the East Coast, though, it's a little late to think about those things. They have probably already done what they need to do, or decided not to do it.

So today is just about making good decisions. All of these memories are coming back about things that did or did not happen. I remember reading one daughter's account of losing her father during Hurricane Katrina. He felt like he did not need to evacuate, and right before phones went out he sounded like he was having some doubts, but it was too late then, and he was gone. I remember a :Leonard Pitts column about a different storm where they decided to ride it out, and ended up regretting it, because it was a lot worse than they expected it to be, but they did all emerge with their lives.

Also, I am thinking about how many people give no credence to climate science, so apparently these gradually worsening storms and droughts and changes in seasons are all big coincidences, while at the same time scientists in Italy have just been convicted of not accurately predicting an earthquake, and it makes one worry about the likelihood of people making good decisions.

So, just for the record, disaster prediction is not as accurate as would be nice, but there are things they can know remarkably well, and evacuation recommendations aren't made lightly. I mean, there are a lot of things that are worth dying for, but refusal to listen to people who probably do know is not a good one, and thrill-seeking probably isn't worth it either.

As we go over the content of the next few weeks, here is one of the greatest recommendations for advance preparation: having less to worry about.

If you need to analyze data, and make a good decision, and maybe need to be feeling some guidance, the less clutter you have in your brain the better. So if you already have three days worth of supplies packed and portable, that's huge. If you have water storage, that's big. If you have an emergency plan and you know exactly where you can go when  you need to evacuate, that really reduces the stress.

One of the pictures I saw from the East is empty shelves in a store, and of course, that happens all the time. But I remember the time when our regular shopping night was before a predicted storm, and they were out of a lot of things, but it didn't really matter because we were really well-supplied, and if the storm had hit earlier and we had not been able to make it to the store at all, it wouldn't have mattered. That feels good. It feels safer, and it means you can help others.

That's priceless.

Preparing to answer questions

So, tomorrow the post on the main blog is one that may get some flack, and if not, the two after it might. I'm not really going to go in to that now, but related to all that I have been thinking about how sometimes we may have things that we don't want to come up. We should want people to ask us about the Gospel, and maybe we do, but we hope they don't ask about garments, or Kolob, or polygamy, or blacks and the priesthood or women holding the priesthood. I guess this is a follow up to two weeks ago on preparing for missionary work.

There are a few things to be understood here. One is that there is no reason to hope that the "weird" topics won't come up. "The Book of Mormon" now does not just refer to a sacred book of scriptures, but also to a popular Broadway play, there's been "Sister Wives" and "Big Love", and even though that isn't us, people still associate it with us, and then, of course, there is the Romney candidacy. I realize there are mixed feelings about how well he represents us, but it should be indisputable that there is a lot more attention on the Church now, and things will come up.

The other point is that even if you feel you have a strong testimony, but there are things you don't like to think about, then that is a potential weakness that could grow, especially when there is growing attention and mockery from the outside.

What I am saying is that we need to think about those issues and make peace with them. It doesn't mean that we will necessarily have an answer for other people. Sometimes the answer may merely be an assurance of peace for now, and that someday it will make sense. That's okay; that's still a testimony.

One thing I remember really clearly from my mission is that a lot of people we would talk to would say that they think if you believe in God that He is real, but if you don't then it doesn't matter. With the Buddhist background there tends to be more of a mindset towards goodness rather than absolute truth, and of course here we believe in being tolerant of other people's beliefs, but at the same time, what you believe does not change what is true.

Trying to tell people that never worked, but I remember one day it came up again with Vathsana, and I didn't argue, or try and logically explain, but I told her that I knew that God was real and that one day we would all have to stand before Him, and that what we do now matters. I bore my testimony, and that allowed the Spirit to touch her, and she had never thought of it like that. That was what worked.

But the testimony has to be there for us to be able to share it, and a testimony that relies on not thinking about the uncomfortable things would have a pretty weak light for showing others.

Now a lot of religions do rely on ignorance a lot, and that is a bad thing. That nourishes the growing disdain for religion, and becomes a stumbling block to others, and that is really horrible. As Mormons, we have no excuse.

Remember who we are. We're the religion that kicked off with James 1:5:

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

We believe that we can receive answers. We believe in the power of the Holy Ghost. We have the Holy Ghost. Are we using that?

We're the religion that believes that "The glory of God is intelligence, or in other words, light and truth." (D&C 93:36)

Or how about this bit from section 88:

"78 Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand;

 79 Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—

 80 That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you, and the mission with which I have commissioned you."

We are the one church where activity goes up with education, instead of down. People should not be able to think of us as stupid and blind. We believe the most important trait is charity, and that we need to be filled with love, so there should be no way that people will be able to perceive us as bigots.

We need to be living up to the Gospel, and that involves trusting it, and trusting ourselves.

I admit that there are things I don't completely understand, or I have ideas of how they work, but I am not sure my ideas are correct. I also know that a lot of the things that people make fun of and find weird are some of the best things about the Gospel, and the reason why it is a plan that works for everyone, rather than just people have been lucky enough to be born in the right time and place. And I know the Gospel is true, and the Church is true, and that people have problems, which accounts for almost all of the trouble of the world, but I keep finding that I love more and more of those people, and that it makes this a pretty joyful life. And I'm not going to be scared of any question.

My confidence can wax strong, because it is not about me.

Preparing for death

This is not so much preparing for your death, though it would still help, as preparing for the death of others.

This is just going to be a short post, I think. I'm sick, and I have been editing 250 pages this weekend. The piece I am working on involves a lot of death, and there's actually one scene where a few people get to meet up afterwards.

In the main blog I have been writing a lot about writing, and how part of it is things come out that you hadn't thought about before, and they make sense. When these people get to see each other, there are basically three things that they want to say: I missed you, I'm sorry, and thank you.I guess the subtext of all of them is "I love you".

I was thinking about it because there have been some deaths recently. I believe we get to see each other again, and I do think that makes things easier. I'm not sure how people who don't believe that manage. However, I think the things that you want to stay would be the same. If there is gratitude that you have not expressed, or there is an apology that has not been offered, that is what is going to weigh you down.

The good news is, we don't need to leave those things unsaid. Thank you is easy to say. It should be followed by "You're welcome." Don't negate the other person's gratitude with attempts at modesty and self-negation. Saying "You're welcome" gives people closure. The next time you thank someone and they try to tell  you it's nothing, see how frustrating that is, and don't do it to anyone else. Give and accept freely.

Apologies are not as easy as thank yous, but mastering that ability is an amazing thing, and not doing it will hurt you more than not saying "thank you". Remember, you never know when it will be the last time that you see someone.

I think I learned a lot of that from Eric. You just never had a bad experience with him. He was always glad to see you, and always kind. He left a hole when he was gone by his absence, but there were no regrets, other than wishing he had gotten a faster diagnosis.

That kind of leads to the last part: I missed you. There's not a way around this one. It's probably the one the least necessary to say. In fact, the response ends up being "I know." But this could end up being the most important part.

I think sometimes with religious people, because we know it's not the end, there is an impulse to downplay the grief, like it shows a lack of faith. That's not it. The separation hurts. Knowing it is not final keeps it from turning into despair, and that is valuable, but it still hurts.

I remember once sending a card to a friend after her mother died, and as I was writing it I realized the complete inadequacy of it. I couldn't say anything to make it better, but I had to write because I cared, and she was hurting. Basically what I wrote in the card was that I knew I couldn't help, and she wrote back that it was the only thing that did help. It's strange that people would need permission to grieve, because surely they are doing it anyway, but somehow, that validation helped. Maybe because it came with love.

So miss people. Cry, and remember, and feel grateful that it is not the end, but go ahead and be sad about the pause in the relationship. That's life, and death. I can't verbally explain how it works, but I know that it does.

You only hear the music when  your heart begins to break.

Preparing for missionary work

It did not take long for Conference to make me go "Wow" yesterday. Actually, it happened twice. First when President Monson said that young men could go at 18, there was one "Wow", and then I wondered if they would lower it to 19 for women, and they did. Wow.

I'm going to travel back in time here for another example of me getting weird thoughts in my head. Back when I was in the Missionary Training Center (entered 2/3/1993), I was studying Laotian, but I was the only Lao sister, so my companions were two Hong Kong-bound sisters in the Cantonese class next door. One thing that was commonly repeated by the missionaries studying any of the Chinese languages (because missionaries going to Taiwan studied Mandarin) was that whenever China was opened up for the preaching of the Gospel, all of the missionaries who had ever served a Chinese-speaking mission would be called to serve again, and there would be so much work in China, that missionaries would only go there.

I believe this was one of those faith-promoting rumors, where it starts with some truth--China has a lot of people and it would take a lot of missionaries to cover it--and then it gets overblown and picks up elements that are not true. I do remember thinking about it though, and thinking that to really cover things fairly, you would need to triple the number of missionaries: one third for the existing work, one third for other areas where more people were needed or that were not currently open, and then one third for China.

At the time we had 46,025 missionaries, so I rounded up and decided we would need 150,000 missionaries. The other thing they said about the opening of China is that temples would be built faster than meetinghouses. This actually makes a lot of sense. You can meet in schools and basements and hotels and conference rooms, and people have, but temple work needs temples. I can't find the exact number, but I think it was about 48 temples then, so I decided we would need 150.

While I was still in the field, President Benson died and President Hunter became the President of the Church. I remember being amazed at the strength he projected, when he had been so sick, and he exhorted all members to have current temple recommends, even if they were not able to attend the temple due to distance.

Something I had realized in terms of where you can put temples is that you need people who can go before you can have one in the area. There need to be people who can be workers and attendees, and yes, for some of the workers and the presidency you can call people to the area, but you still need a base. Seeing this made me feel like it would pave the way for more people to go, because while it would still be impossible for some, maybe there were others for whom it was only improbable, and getting their recommend would inspire them to find the possible.

I guess it was about three years later that President Hinckley announced the smaller temples, both the idea of how it was going to work, and a slew that were already planned. That was an amazing announcement, and I was briefly overcome by the implications.

Since then the number of temples has skyrocketed. I think the last count was 139 operating, with another 28 announced, under construction, or under renovation. 150 seemed like it would take forever, but is happening way faster than I could ever have imagined.

The number of missionaries has increased as well, but not by nearly as much. The 2011 report cited 55410 full-time missionaries, which is comparatively a much smaller change. Of course now there are over 20,000 service missionaries, a number that used to be included in with the full-time, and of course the temples are permanent while missionaries rotate in and out, but still, I would say we don't have enough to teach the whole wide world, which I guess was what I had in mind with 150,000. (Actually, now that I think about it, I probably decided it should be 144.000 to match Revelation.)

Now let me try and come to a point. There were steps that were needed to make it possible for the temples to grow, like getting the members to focus on temple-worthiness and coming up with the idea of smaller temples. Consider that to be the preparation of the infrastructure to allow the growth.

I think this is also from my mission, but I also remember someone explaining that part of the older age for women to go is that there would be too many wanting to go otherwise, and they could not handle the influx. To have more missionaries you need greater training center capacity, lodgings, more mission presidents, you need transportation--you need the ability to deal with all of those extra people and their needs.

The announcement makes me feel like we must be ready for another leap forward. I don't know what has changed, but our capacity is greater. The need is there, and I see this as being a movement towards filling that need.

It may not be right for everyone. I think there can be some advantages to having that first year of college under your belt, and then going out. However, for people who want to join the military, or are not interested in college, or don't know what to do with themselves yet, this can be huge. And yes, people are excited about girls still being able to go, and get married younger. At first look, that gives me qualms, but if girls are going to get married young, doing so after having served a mission should really help mitigate the lack of life experience.

I thought writing this post would be about my remembering that missionary work is important and exciting, and how can I participate more. If all members are really doing a good job, maybe we don't need 150,000 full-time missionaries. That is important, but as I was writing it also became about the importance of laying a groundwork and building a strong foundation, but also we are not doing it with an architect's knowledge. If you're constructing a building, you probably know what you need for the foundation, and how to do it, and are keeping track while it is being laid. In life, there are things happening that you do not realize. You think you are just dealing with some hassle, but actually rebar is going in.

We live in exciting times. Sometimes I get why that is a curse, but usually I like it. For my preparation, I am trying to remember to pray for missionary opportunities, and I did create a profile on Mormon.org and link it to my Facebook profile. These are minor things, but they're a start.

I guess we can always use more people who speak Chinese.