Brigham Young said "He who is offended when offense is not intended, is a fool; he who is offended when offense is intended, is a greater fool." We have all had times when we have been hurt badly by something that just stung. Many of us know people who have let such situations affect their church attendance. Even while the Bible pronounces woe upon those who offend, it confirms that offences will come, and must come (see Matthew 18:7). Accepting that there will definitely be moments when being offended is possible, it is wise to decide now what type of impact you are willing to accept.
Someone who has already been offended could easily be further offended by President Young’s quote, confident that taking offence was justified, but consider the options. Either the offended party is holding on to anger to punish someone who meant no harm, or gratifying someone who did. Both possibilities do sound a little foolish.
This topic focuses on our sensitivity, and is in itself a sensitive topic. I find that it is impossible to make any useful points without being fairly specific and personal, giving examples from my own family. I hope this will be received in the spirit intended, and that readers will apply the principles appropriately to their own situations.
In my family we tend to tease a lot and sometimes we even have heated disputes. Normally the joking is taken in good humor, and the disputes flare up and die down without too much fallout. However, there are times when the reaction is worse than intended, and I have observed that this is usually a combination of two factors.
One may be that the other person is in a bad mood. She has been having a bad day, or is worried about something, and so is sensitive enough that what would normally be considered a joke is not funny.
In addition, it will generally be on a sensitive topic—one where she has real concerns and fears. I learned a few years ago that no matter how angry or frustrated I might get with my mother, I should never call her stupid or a bad mother, because these would cut her to the quick, and it would be unfair. Therefore, even when we are in strong disagreement, I keep those two insults off the table or reconciling will be much harder.
I think setting those boundaries is a reasonable allowance to make, as is recognizing the need to back off when someone has had a bad day. So if everyone will just be a little more sensitive to the needs of others, then everything can be perfect and no one will ever get offended ever. If that were practical, this would be the shortest newsletter ever, but it will be the usual length.
While we should be sensitive to the feelings of others, we only have control over our own feelings, and our own actions. We will sometimes encounter people who actually want to make us feel bad. I hope that it will more frequently be people with good intentions who are a bit thoughtless, or misread the moment, but at times the person who cares about you can hurt you a lot more than the one who doesn’t. The real issue needs to be how offences are handled.
My mother is neither stupid, nor a bad mother, but those are fears of hers. I suspect every mother has worries about her adequacy in that role, so that one just might be standard. The concerns about intelligence come from being married to a very intellectual and arrogant man, which brought her to a new country where she had to pick up the language on her own, and raising children who were pretty smart (sometimes frighteningly so) in a school system that was completely different from the one she went through. On the other hand, if we called her a bad housekeeper, she would not take it seriously, having complete confidence in her abilities there.
I am confident that I am smart and a good sister, so someone questioning that would not bother me. However, having been unemployed for several months now, after years of being fairly well off, has raised a lot of fears about my own worth, and there is a limit to how calmly I can discuss my employability, my financial situation, or how I got into this mess. Comments on that topic have hurt me deeply. However, I have been improving.
The improvement has not come from getting a job. Instead, it has come from a focus on the eternal. I have an intrinsic value as a child of God. That is not based on my financial net worth. I have agonized about still not having a job, and about becoming a taker instead of a giver, and yet it all seemed to be out of my control. I was taking appropriate actions, and they were just not paying off. What I realized was that I could only control my actions. The most important thing about this experience will be if I can be the person I want to be, and should be.
I cannot force companies to call me back and hire me, but I can keep applying for more jobs. I can make an effort to not act weird around people (even if I am feeling worthless and uncomfortable) and eventually I will feel less weird. I can refrain from shouting at my sisters when they hit a sore spot, and I can believe that their intentions are good. I can actively try to remember gratitude and service.
In a singles ward, there are many sore spots. The longer you stay, the more likely you are to wonder what is wrong with you, and if your shortcomings are the specific reason that you are single.
We can be sensitive, growing angry at small jokes and becoming devastated about innocent comments. We can get offended right out of the church. After all, it’s the other person’s fault—they were totally out of line. We still need to understand that this reaction is a choice, and ultimately it will not be a satisfying choice.
At the Last Supper, when Christ told the apostles that there was a traitor in their midst, each one asked, “Is it I?” They were sufficiently humble to believe that they could be the ones with the problem, and when you can face a problem you can fix it.
If you have a weakness that is keeping you single, or unemployed, or unhappy, the Lord can show you this weakness, and turn it into a strength, and has promised that He will (Ether 12:21). We should be working on overcoming weaknesses anyway. And if you are worried or hurt about something that is not really a problem, He can provide clarity and comfort over that as well, so that it does not have to hurt anymore. He can provide you with peace.
Sometimes it seems that people will hold on to a grudge because they know the act that led to it was not right, and they feel like letting go will send the message that it was fine—that the offender did not do anything wrong. We already know that justice will be fully met, so we don’t need to worry about that. The true message of our granting forgiveness is that we will be fine. That is the best choice.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
General remedies in case I am right
I wrote a post on the other blog (This week's sporkful, April 12th) about how the next few years look to me:
http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2009/04/shape-of-things-to-come-3055.html
I said I would get around to posting things that would help, and the good news of it all, but then I needed to start doing all this therapeutic self-exploration again, so I thought I would throw it in here, where it is probably more relevant.
Based on things that I have observed already happening, I predicted five trends that I think will last through the end of 2012. One is the bad economy. Individuals will be able to make some gains here and there, but I believe that overall the issues with unemployment, underemployment, and lack of affordability will continue. This will lead to an increase of despair, and also to more crime. In addition, people seem to be becoming sicker, and weather is getting more severe.
That does sound bad, but it is not hopeless. There are things individuals can do to mitigate the situation, and that is what personal preparedness is all about.
Weather:
The most basic emergency steps will help here. If there is a flood or fire, and you need to evacuate, having your emergency evacuation plan, communication plan, and 72-hour kits will help. If wind storms lead to a power outage, or ice storms mean that you can't get to the store, having your camping supplies, providing light, heat, and food preparation will help. If it floods enough to contaminate the water supply, but not to require evacuation, having water storage will help.
It is probably hardest to prepare for a heat wave combined with a power outage, but think about that type of circumstance, and what would help with your individual situation. Planning for things before they happen is the key.
Disease:
The short-lived hype about swine flu probably did a disservice to people, because it made a serious threat look completely overinflated, and may lead to a false sense of security. If you paid attention though, there are good lessons. They told us to cough into your sleeve or elbow (not the hands, which touch everything), wash hands frequently, and stay home when you are sick. Since the regular flu kills thousands of people each year, maybe those are just good steps to take anyway. Those steps will also help curtail the spread of other diseases, so these are some really good ideas.
It still worries me that people are getting sicklier--getting sick more often and staying sick for longer. At this point it is only anecdotal for me, but we are stressed, people are skimping on health care, and the average American diet is not healthy.
I am not the poster girl for good health, but I've got to try. Try to take care of yourself. Get in some exercise, to strengthen your body and to relieve stress. Eat more natural foods, with a more balanced diet so that you are getting your vitamins and antioxidants and phytochemicals. Get enough sleep, so that your body can repair itself, and again to relieve the stress. These things are not easy, but it's reasonable to make them a priority. Find a way.
Crime:
Well, we did just have a letter on protecting yourself from crime, and there were good tips and resources in that. Also, we need to take a stand for good. Partly, this is standing on the side of law and order, but also, when that crime is coming from despair it is a double tragedy. There must be something we can do here.
Despair:
This is a hard one, but there are two things that I have grown to feel very strongly about. One is that the only thing I really own any more is how I react to things. I have very limited control about getting a job. There are things I can do, but I have done a lot without it paying off, and I don't know when there will be a payoff. I do have control over how I act with that, and so I'm trying to be the person I should be with it. Still loving and kind and thinking of others. Not taking frustrations out on my family. Not giving up. Not taking things personally. It's hard, but it's necessary.
And if we are thinking of others, and serving them, then we can help their despair too. We will be happier if we are not always worrying about our own problems, but also spend time looking outward, and when we share burdens, they become lighter for everyone. Call someone, bake them a casserole, give them money, volunteer, whatever. We each have different means available, but I know we all have something to give.
Economy:
Okay, times are rough, but in my brief career as a tax preparer, I gained a new perspective. If you want to do something new, this may be the time. There are credits for buying a home. There are deductions for farms and businesses, and maybe you'll fail, but a regular job working for someone else has a good chance of failing too. Maybe you can at least fail splendidly, with self-determination. But make it something you care about--a business that matters to you or a home you want to live in. A lot of what got us here was greed--the adjustable rate mortgage that you expected to dump in two year when the value went up, and then it didn't, or stocks or things like that. Making money is necessary, but it can be a hollow quest. We need to care about more than that.
The two most important, basic preparedness steps are still having food storage and establishing savings while paying down debt. I know there are concerns that people need to be spending instead of saving right now, for the good of the economy as a whole, but do it right. Pay off consumer debt. If you borrow, do it for a house, or to start a business, or for education. Buy food storage. That is an excellent investment (it will only become more valuable, which is not always true for your mutual fund).
If you can afford it and want to simulate the economy, some expenditures will have more value than others. Like food storage, other preparedness supplies are a good investment.
For stimulating the economy, paying for services, like a massage or haircut, will usually go the farthest, because the service provider will turn around and spend that money again. It doesn't have quite the same turnaround when you purchase a manufactured item, and at least some of it should be spent locally.
Dining out or going to live performances may not have quite as much financial impact on the local economy, but it can still be helpful for the community in terms of building a social life, and in bringing yourself greater cheer.
There is one other neat trick that many of my cohorts should consider as a balance between saving and stimulating. It is called marriage. In the long term it reduces expenses as dwellings are combined. Two cannot live as cheaply as one, but two together should be able to live more cheaply than two separately. Also, you get new tax deductions.
That being said, in the short-term there is economic stimulation as clothing is purchased or rented, caterers are hired, maybe along with hair stylists, makeup artists, and musicians, and gifts are purchased.
Yep, marriage. I know I'm thinking about it.
http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2009/04/shape-of-things-to-come-3055.html
I said I would get around to posting things that would help, and the good news of it all, but then I needed to start doing all this therapeutic self-exploration again, so I thought I would throw it in here, where it is probably more relevant.
Based on things that I have observed already happening, I predicted five trends that I think will last through the end of 2012. One is the bad economy. Individuals will be able to make some gains here and there, but I believe that overall the issues with unemployment, underemployment, and lack of affordability will continue. This will lead to an increase of despair, and also to more crime. In addition, people seem to be becoming sicker, and weather is getting more severe.
That does sound bad, but it is not hopeless. There are things individuals can do to mitigate the situation, and that is what personal preparedness is all about.
Weather:
The most basic emergency steps will help here. If there is a flood or fire, and you need to evacuate, having your emergency evacuation plan, communication plan, and 72-hour kits will help. If wind storms lead to a power outage, or ice storms mean that you can't get to the store, having your camping supplies, providing light, heat, and food preparation will help. If it floods enough to contaminate the water supply, but not to require evacuation, having water storage will help.
It is probably hardest to prepare for a heat wave combined with a power outage, but think about that type of circumstance, and what would help with your individual situation. Planning for things before they happen is the key.
Disease:
The short-lived hype about swine flu probably did a disservice to people, because it made a serious threat look completely overinflated, and may lead to a false sense of security. If you paid attention though, there are good lessons. They told us to cough into your sleeve or elbow (not the hands, which touch everything), wash hands frequently, and stay home when you are sick. Since the regular flu kills thousands of people each year, maybe those are just good steps to take anyway. Those steps will also help curtail the spread of other diseases, so these are some really good ideas.
It still worries me that people are getting sicklier--getting sick more often and staying sick for longer. At this point it is only anecdotal for me, but we are stressed, people are skimping on health care, and the average American diet is not healthy.
I am not the poster girl for good health, but I've got to try. Try to take care of yourself. Get in some exercise, to strengthen your body and to relieve stress. Eat more natural foods, with a more balanced diet so that you are getting your vitamins and antioxidants and phytochemicals. Get enough sleep, so that your body can repair itself, and again to relieve the stress. These things are not easy, but it's reasonable to make them a priority. Find a way.
Crime:
Well, we did just have a letter on protecting yourself from crime, and there were good tips and resources in that. Also, we need to take a stand for good. Partly, this is standing on the side of law and order, but also, when that crime is coming from despair it is a double tragedy. There must be something we can do here.
Despair:
This is a hard one, but there are two things that I have grown to feel very strongly about. One is that the only thing I really own any more is how I react to things. I have very limited control about getting a job. There are things I can do, but I have done a lot without it paying off, and I don't know when there will be a payoff. I do have control over how I act with that, and so I'm trying to be the person I should be with it. Still loving and kind and thinking of others. Not taking frustrations out on my family. Not giving up. Not taking things personally. It's hard, but it's necessary.
And if we are thinking of others, and serving them, then we can help their despair too. We will be happier if we are not always worrying about our own problems, but also spend time looking outward, and when we share burdens, they become lighter for everyone. Call someone, bake them a casserole, give them money, volunteer, whatever. We each have different means available, but I know we all have something to give.
Economy:
Okay, times are rough, but in my brief career as a tax preparer, I gained a new perspective. If you want to do something new, this may be the time. There are credits for buying a home. There are deductions for farms and businesses, and maybe you'll fail, but a regular job working for someone else has a good chance of failing too. Maybe you can at least fail splendidly, with self-determination. But make it something you care about--a business that matters to you or a home you want to live in. A lot of what got us here was greed--the adjustable rate mortgage that you expected to dump in two year when the value went up, and then it didn't, or stocks or things like that. Making money is necessary, but it can be a hollow quest. We need to care about more than that.
The two most important, basic preparedness steps are still having food storage and establishing savings while paying down debt. I know there are concerns that people need to be spending instead of saving right now, for the good of the economy as a whole, but do it right. Pay off consumer debt. If you borrow, do it for a house, or to start a business, or for education. Buy food storage. That is an excellent investment (it will only become more valuable, which is not always true for your mutual fund).
If you can afford it and want to simulate the economy, some expenditures will have more value than others. Like food storage, other preparedness supplies are a good investment.
For stimulating the economy, paying for services, like a massage or haircut, will usually go the farthest, because the service provider will turn around and spend that money again. It doesn't have quite the same turnaround when you purchase a manufactured item, and at least some of it should be spent locally.
Dining out or going to live performances may not have quite as much financial impact on the local economy, but it can still be helpful for the community in terms of building a social life, and in bringing yourself greater cheer.
There is one other neat trick that many of my cohorts should consider as a balance between saving and stimulating. It is called marriage. In the long term it reduces expenses as dwellings are combined. Two cannot live as cheaply as one, but two together should be able to live more cheaply than two separately. Also, you get new tax deductions.
That being said, in the short-term there is economic stimulation as clothing is purchased or rented, caterers are hired, maybe along with hair stylists, makeup artists, and musicians, and gifts are purchased.
Yep, marriage. I know I'm thinking about it.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Bridging the gap
Newsletters are now current. April 2009 has been posted, and May 2009 has not yet been written, meaning that this can now move to a monthly update and be caught up.
However, since we do have just a two-week period here, and not an entire month, I was thinking I could so something a little different until we get to the May posting, so today and next Monday I will write a little.
Sometime around January of 2008, I had a dream where a man told me that it was going to be a tumultuous year. It made an impression on me, and I guess that has been true. I spent time in Italy, Australia, and New Zealand, lost two friends and an uncle, wrote three screenplays, and lost my job. That job loss is still reverberating. There were other things I suppose, but certainly there were ups and downs, and tumult. That is looking back.
Looking forward I remember trying to imagine what would happen, to be prepared for it. I was thinking specifically about a large scale earthquake and then pandemic influenza, and if they overlapped it would be really bad.
It was easy to think of those, because they are both things where I have read many times that they are going to happen, and the question is just when. Mexico City did kind of have that happen, but we are still okay. Swine flu does not seem to be living up to the hype, and even though they have recently shortened the earthquake window to within twenty years, it still has not happened yet.
Regardless, there will still be many things happening, and preparedness is important. Knowing what will happen next would be helpful, but barring that there are all-purpose things we can do, and that's what the newsletter is all about. There were entries about pandemics in November, earthquakes a few months earlier, and saving money in October 2007. I will keep trying to be useful.
It's interesting. As ward emergency preparedness coordinator, I feel more responsible for the tangible things, but it is the generally the more spiritual letters where I receive more feedback. Well, try getting through an emergency with spiritual problems. It's a lot harder. I hope to balance the two, in the letter and in myself.
However, since we do have just a two-week period here, and not an entire month, I was thinking I could so something a little different until we get to the May posting, so today and next Monday I will write a little.
Sometime around January of 2008, I had a dream where a man told me that it was going to be a tumultuous year. It made an impression on me, and I guess that has been true. I spent time in Italy, Australia, and New Zealand, lost two friends and an uncle, wrote three screenplays, and lost my job. That job loss is still reverberating. There were other things I suppose, but certainly there were ups and downs, and tumult. That is looking back.
Looking forward I remember trying to imagine what would happen, to be prepared for it. I was thinking specifically about a large scale earthquake and then pandemic influenza, and if they overlapped it would be really bad.
It was easy to think of those, because they are both things where I have read many times that they are going to happen, and the question is just when. Mexico City did kind of have that happen, but we are still okay. Swine flu does not seem to be living up to the hype, and even though they have recently shortened the earthquake window to within twenty years, it still has not happened yet.
Regardless, there will still be many things happening, and preparedness is important. Knowing what will happen next would be helpful, but barring that there are all-purpose things we can do, and that's what the newsletter is all about. There were entries about pandemics in November, earthquakes a few months earlier, and saving money in October 2007. I will keep trying to be useful.
It's interesting. As ward emergency preparedness coordinator, I feel more responsible for the tangible things, but it is the generally the more spiritual letters where I receive more feedback. Well, try getting through an emergency with spiritual problems. It's a lot harder. I hope to balance the two, in the letter and in myself.
Monday, May 4, 2009
April 2009 - Personal Safety
Recent news articles seem to indicate an increase in crime, especially of theft. This makes safety and crime prevention practices more important. Some will argue that if a criminal is truly determined to get into your home or your car, there is nothing you can do about it. That may be true, but in many cases the criminals are not specifically determined on your property—they will just go for the target that looks like it can be most easily achieved. Therefore, the first step is to take away crimes of opportunity.
With both your home and your vehicle, doors and windows are an important consideration. Whether you are at home or away, doors should be kept locked. When you are traveling or waiting in your car, doors should be locked. When you are away from your car, doors should be locked and windows closed, including vents and wind-wings. There are tools that allow the car to be opened through even the narrowest cracks, so just because an arm might not fit through does not mean something else won’t. Consistent use of locks is the most basic deterrent.
Naturally, there are other reinforcements that can be made. For your home, this can include deadbolts, reinforced doors, and dowel rods for windows and sliding doors. However, it is also especially important to consider visibility. If there are recessed alcoves around a door, or shrubbery blocking a window, this provides a cover that will allow a burglar to work on gaining access without being noticed. There may be architectural issues that cannot be corrected, but lighting can be added and landscaping can be changed to make your home a less desirable target.
If you are living in an apartment complex, there are added considerations. There is always another person (the manager), who has a key. There are common areas (like mailboxes and laundry rooms) that other people can get too, possibly including non-residents. In these areas you would want to see more lighting and visibility. Is the building well maintained, so that broken or burnt-out lights are replaced quickly, and shrubbery is trimmed? Does the manager seem trustworthy, and to care about tenant safety? It is helpful to know the neighbors, whether in an apartment or a house. The best crime deterrent is a connected neighborhood.
Do not forget the link between your car and your home. If you carry a garage door opener in your glove box, and car registration with your address, the person who steals your car now has access to your home. Even with something that appears safe and controlled, like valet parking, it is recommended that you never have a tag with your name and address on your key ring. Actually, the recommendation is that you carry your car key separately from your other keys, so anyone who has the car key has only that.
There are also additional precautions that you can take with cars. Many new cars have standard burglary deterrents built in, but even by simply turning your wheels sharply to the curb when you park, you make your car more difficult to tow.
You have probably all heard that if you must leave valuables (like laptops) in the car, you should leave them in the trunk. Plan in advance so that you have placed the items in the trunk before you get to your destination. There are thieves who monitor parking lots, and if they see you place the items in your trunk, you have just undone your efforts.
One anti-carjacking tip given was that if, as you are heading home, you notice someone unusual near the drive, you circle the block and come back. Carjacking is very much a crime of opportunity, because the principle behind it is that it is easiest to grab a car when the keys are in the ignition and it is running. Having the doors locked helps, but there are times when it seems very reasonable to drive with the windows down. That is fine, but be aware of your surroundings, whether you are on the move or just getting ready to park.
Being aware of your surroundings is good advice in general. When something is wrong, there are generally various clues to the issue, visual and otherwise, and if you are open to these signals, it will increase your safety.
Part of your preparation should also include readiness to get the situation corrected if something does happen. A photographic record of possessions can be helpful for either recovering stolen items or for preparing an insurance claim. Engraving identification numbers on some items may also be helpful.
Not all crimes are against property, so you do also need to think about your person. Making your home and vehicle more secure helps, but you are not always in them. First of all, again, you should always be aware of your surroundings. Sometimes, this may mean leaving the iPod turned off. You want to be able to hear outer noises and that inner voice.
You should also consider mobility. Will you need to be transporting many items or heavy items? Consider taking a rolling bag, or some sort of help so that you can leave a hand free. Have keys ready so you do not need to fumble later. Being alert to warning signs may not be helpful if you are unable to react to those warnings.
The topic of weapons is really a very personal one, and I would never recommend purchasing anything, from mace to a gun, just to feel safer. However, if you are going to get something, make sure that you learn how to use it, and that you become comfortable with it before needing to use it. Otherwise, it becomes an added hazard. Self-defense classes may be a better option. While providing helpful skills, they can also increase confidence, even if it is just the confidence to not allow others to intimidate you. They are often available free for women (this may seem unfair to men, but based on crime statistics, it is very practical). The information for Washington County is located at http://www.co.washington.or.us/sheriff/service/curve.htm.
For more information about local public safety, go to http://www.co.washington.or.us/cgi/sheriff/lec.pl.
The Los Angeles Police Department has a wide variety of helpful tips at http://www.lapdonline.org/prevent_crime/content_basic_view/1175.
You may also wish to read Gavin de Becker’s excellent The Gift of Fear for more on how to recognize the signals around you.
More than anyone else, we understand and believe in our ability to be protected and warned, but many blessings require at least a little effort so that we can receive them. Prepare to be safe.
With both your home and your vehicle, doors and windows are an important consideration. Whether you are at home or away, doors should be kept locked. When you are traveling or waiting in your car, doors should be locked. When you are away from your car, doors should be locked and windows closed, including vents and wind-wings. There are tools that allow the car to be opened through even the narrowest cracks, so just because an arm might not fit through does not mean something else won’t. Consistent use of locks is the most basic deterrent.
Naturally, there are other reinforcements that can be made. For your home, this can include deadbolts, reinforced doors, and dowel rods for windows and sliding doors. However, it is also especially important to consider visibility. If there are recessed alcoves around a door, or shrubbery blocking a window, this provides a cover that will allow a burglar to work on gaining access without being noticed. There may be architectural issues that cannot be corrected, but lighting can be added and landscaping can be changed to make your home a less desirable target.
If you are living in an apartment complex, there are added considerations. There is always another person (the manager), who has a key. There are common areas (like mailboxes and laundry rooms) that other people can get too, possibly including non-residents. In these areas you would want to see more lighting and visibility. Is the building well maintained, so that broken or burnt-out lights are replaced quickly, and shrubbery is trimmed? Does the manager seem trustworthy, and to care about tenant safety? It is helpful to know the neighbors, whether in an apartment or a house. The best crime deterrent is a connected neighborhood.
Do not forget the link between your car and your home. If you carry a garage door opener in your glove box, and car registration with your address, the person who steals your car now has access to your home. Even with something that appears safe and controlled, like valet parking, it is recommended that you never have a tag with your name and address on your key ring. Actually, the recommendation is that you carry your car key separately from your other keys, so anyone who has the car key has only that.
There are also additional precautions that you can take with cars. Many new cars have standard burglary deterrents built in, but even by simply turning your wheels sharply to the curb when you park, you make your car more difficult to tow.
You have probably all heard that if you must leave valuables (like laptops) in the car, you should leave them in the trunk. Plan in advance so that you have placed the items in the trunk before you get to your destination. There are thieves who monitor parking lots, and if they see you place the items in your trunk, you have just undone your efforts.
One anti-carjacking tip given was that if, as you are heading home, you notice someone unusual near the drive, you circle the block and come back. Carjacking is very much a crime of opportunity, because the principle behind it is that it is easiest to grab a car when the keys are in the ignition and it is running. Having the doors locked helps, but there are times when it seems very reasonable to drive with the windows down. That is fine, but be aware of your surroundings, whether you are on the move or just getting ready to park.
Being aware of your surroundings is good advice in general. When something is wrong, there are generally various clues to the issue, visual and otherwise, and if you are open to these signals, it will increase your safety.
Part of your preparation should also include readiness to get the situation corrected if something does happen. A photographic record of possessions can be helpful for either recovering stolen items or for preparing an insurance claim. Engraving identification numbers on some items may also be helpful.
Not all crimes are against property, so you do also need to think about your person. Making your home and vehicle more secure helps, but you are not always in them. First of all, again, you should always be aware of your surroundings. Sometimes, this may mean leaving the iPod turned off. You want to be able to hear outer noises and that inner voice.
You should also consider mobility. Will you need to be transporting many items or heavy items? Consider taking a rolling bag, or some sort of help so that you can leave a hand free. Have keys ready so you do not need to fumble later. Being alert to warning signs may not be helpful if you are unable to react to those warnings.
The topic of weapons is really a very personal one, and I would never recommend purchasing anything, from mace to a gun, just to feel safer. However, if you are going to get something, make sure that you learn how to use it, and that you become comfortable with it before needing to use it. Otherwise, it becomes an added hazard. Self-defense classes may be a better option. While providing helpful skills, they can also increase confidence, even if it is just the confidence to not allow others to intimidate you. They are often available free for women (this may seem unfair to men, but based on crime statistics, it is very practical). The information for Washington County is located at http://www.co.washington.or.us/sheriff/service/curve.htm.
For more information about local public safety, go to http://www.co.washington.or.us/cgi/sheriff/lec.pl.
The Los Angeles Police Department has a wide variety of helpful tips at http://www.lapdonline.org/prevent_crime/content_basic_view/1175.
You may also wish to read Gavin de Becker’s excellent The Gift of Fear for more on how to recognize the signals around you.
More than anyone else, we understand and believe in our ability to be protected and warned, but many blessings require at least a little effort so that we can receive them. Prepare to be safe.
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