Speaking in church

Okay, I am going to spend some time going over things I covered in my talk, starting with some of the instructions.

For the past couple of talks, I had been given a conference talk and built from that. This time there was a topic, along with listed resources and the first resource listed was a conference talk.

Topic: — How can we become disciples of Christ?

Conference Talk or Other References to Help: 

• Recent conference talk: Elder McCune - Joy through Covenant Discipleship

• https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2025/04/46mccune?lang=eng

• Other General conference talks

• Share any relevant personal experiences

• Share your testimony

• Share relevant scriptures

    

I don't want to give too much importance to that, but I think it's interesting.  

When I gave my very first talk as a youth speaker (around twelve years old), I was advised to tell a story like from a church magazine or something and then bear my testimony. I used a story from Elder Bruce R. McConkie about his father getting a feeling that he was in trouble and coming and saving him from getting injured while horseback riding. I might have found it in the family home evening manual, but maybe a Friend or New Era. 

Many talks did follow this pattern, I observed, but I didn't find it satisfying. I started going more with a five paragraph essay kind of thing, where I would have an opener, three points, and a conclusion.

I should note that we did not have a particularly large youth, so I spoke about once a year. In some wards that would have been very unlikely.

I stuck to that format for a while. Moving into adulthood, I stopped being able to write talks. That eventually led to my current process of lots and lots of journal writing in preparation. I wrote about that a while back.

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2022/07/speaking-and-teaching.html 

On a related note, back when I was a Gospel Doctrine teacher for the first time, I would read through the manual and I would read the chapters for the lesson every day of the preceding week. Then I just let the lesson flow.

That was in the singles ward. I remember getting some talk advice there: use three scriptures, mention the Savior at least once, and bear your testimony.

That didn't change the not being able to write a talk process, but I did start then making sure to have at least three scriptures.

With this new phase, I had not spent nearly as much time on the journal writing as a I wanted to. It didn't ruin the talk, though it is possible that there could have been something better if I had written more.

It is also entirely possible that "something better" would have just been for me... something I would have understood better or gotten insight for me.

When I am up there, I just want to invite the Spirit so people can hear what they need to hear; it may not be something I say. (That Speaking and Teaching post above has a good story about that.)

There are probably three points to today's post. One is that we change and evolve; what works for us at one stage in life may not be what works for us in the next. There can be growing pains as we move to something new (or other kinds of pains as we lose ground), but ultimately growth is good so try and embrace it. 

Another point is that different things work for different people; try and only worry about what works for you. Don't compare yourself to others. 

With the talk by Elder Cowley that influenced me, I remember him saying that when he was advised to never write a talk, that he was told that wasn't necessarily for anyone else. I also assume that he spoke in conference, and I know the conference speakers, at least later, had to provide copies for the translators. He might have had to do things differently for conference. 

The main point is that there should be a way that you can invite the Spirit, which is the most important thing, so don't worry about what you can't do or what other people might do better. Focus on that which feels best -- by the Spirit -- for you.

While it may not be obvious, this does totally relate to other things that were in my most recent talk. 

Related posts:

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2025/08/currently-operating-at.html  

Currently operating at...

I don't know if I will post for weeks and weeks about my talk When I did that three years ago, there were many different tangents that could have fit with the talk, so there was a lot unsaid.

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2022/08/my-talk-pioneer-heritage.html 

For the talk about a year ago, while there were many things that I had thought and written about but did not say, there still wasn't a lot that felt unsaid. 

https://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2024/08/my-mother-my-talk.html 

(By the way, the way this talk came about, I realized that the reason I am always speaking in the summer is that lots of people go out of town and are unavailable. We are not hot weather people, so schedule our vacations for fall or winter or maybe spring. It leaves me available.)

This time I did have a lot of thoughts. In the past that has generally resulted in me doing a lot of journal writing so that I know I have gotten everything out of my system. That way, my hope is that when I give the talk I will only say things that can be helpful to others there, rather than saying things that I do need to say but it doesn't matter how or to whom.

I was not happy with the amount of writing I got done this week.

I had mentioned on the other blog that there was a lot of reading for class; it didn't leave me much time for anything else. 

I read the suggested talk multiple times and I did some journal writing. I won't even say that my writing was perfunctory, but it wasn't as much as I would have liked. It was not enough for the thoughts to fully stop buzzing around in my head.

There just wasn't the capacity to keep up with both school and that.

Appropriately, a portion of the talk was about how we often don't know for sure what we need to do or how much or if it is enough.

Was my preparation this time enough?

I think it worked out. It was possibly even good for me to see that it can be okay to not do as much when you have less time. I mean, that's probably going to come up again.

Regardless, I asked that question: is it enough? Well, maybe.

I believe that being in school is where I am supposed to be now, and that is important. Logically, giving time to school is then necessary and appropriate. 

It's also not the only thing in my life. There are church responsibilities and family responsibilities and friends and the yard and so many other things.

I do not feel like I am operating at full capacity. I am trying to do good things with the capacity I currently have. 

Sometimes there are things that I had believed should be possible, but when I get there I find I don't have it in me.

I was kind of telling other people to be gentle with themselves for that.

Maybe that's good advice. 

Attention breaks

Lately I have had to figure a lot of things out. They aren't necessarily big things, but having answers still helps.

I have noticed a pattern where when I am doing my scripture study (currently still conference talks most days), I will get little ideas. They don't seem like anything big, but it gives me something to try.

Lately, that has mainly been things like realizing whom to ask about something, or that I should send a message or that I could do this for someone's birthday.  

Then, when I am praying later, I will realize that was an answer and I should express gratitude for that.

Overall there are no huge changes, but I am progressing through school and maintaining more contact with people, which I like. 

The big thing, though, is that I have these habits built into my day where there is time to listen and get impressions, and also to notice that happened.

I mean, it might be fine if when the small idea came that there was this realization then that yes, I am getting answers and being guided and I value this. Then again, maybe it would seem like too big a deal when I still have more things to do.

Regardless, I value that guidance, and the friends and relationships I have, and the knowledge of it all. 

I really value the Holy Ghost.

Also, I value that cumulative effect of daily scripture study and prayer, over and over again, not generally dramatic but still very important. 

 

Minor adjustments

I have written before about school and distraction and playing games, though a lot of that has been on the main blog.

I recently realized that I was trying to concentrate on school -- which makes sense -- to the exclusion of other things -- which does not make sense and was not sustainable.

I would be working on schoolwork, and having a hard time focusing, so I would play a game of Spider Solitaire or watch some videos for a quick break.

It often ended up being too long of a break. 

Then, because I was not getting far enough along with school, I was also not getting to anything else and feeling frustrated about that. This did not help my concentration.

I hope this post isn't too much of a let down for people who have figured out all of this long ago.

Anyway, the answer ended up being that I needed to prioritize other things along with school.

Last night I watched a movie I had been meaning to watch, and then I did some more schoolwork. In between sections of the paper that I was working on, I folded laundry, changed my sheets, and did some cat grooming.

The night before I wrote three letters that I have been meaning to write for an embarrassingly long time. I did not get as much schoolwork done as I would have liked, but I think I was able to study better yesterday for having those letters done.

If part of my distraction is the other things I want to do pulling at me, then getting some of those done is more satisfying than the things that are supposed to be a quick distraction.

Don't get me wrong; writing even one letter takes longer than one game of Spider Solitaire does, if it ends up only being one game. However, the fact that it doesn't really solve anything may be why it tends to not be only one game, or why when I get back to the schoolwork my mind is still running around all over the place.

Technically it all makes sense. As unimpressive as an addiction to MarbleDrop might be, it is a very normal issue with addiction that you are substituting the object of the addiction for something else. It escalates because it keeps not working.

There is a small dopamine hit for having successfully solved a Sudoku puzzle, but if what I really want is to be keeping up with my church responsibilities or my housework or my friends, as well as keeping up with my schoolwork, then I should be addressing those needs.

Then you can quibble about whether those are multiple needs or the same need of feeling competent and on top of things... I mean, we can be complex people.

Regardless, last night I wrote three sections on the assignment and I still had fresh sheets! 

No post today

I think I am going to need to start a new series, but figuring that out. 

For your health

Dear readers, I have a cold.

I think I picked it up at OMSI. We went to see the Lego dinosaur exhibit. I was masked, but I have a common rhinovirus right now, which spreads from surface contact. This particular exhibit had lots of hands on building stations, meaning many people were touching the same bricks over and over. I am pretty good about washing my hands, but I guess I was not good enough.

This will not kill me. It is pretty annoying and it does not help my issue of being constantly tired, but I will survive.

There are worse things to catch than a cold. Diseases currently spreading in the United States include Covid, measles, and whooping cough. 

Making things worse, I am now reluctant to trust any information from the CDC. 

I know that in February the US was still averaging around 350 Covid deaths weekly.

I know there had been some interesting breakthroughs in what is happening with long Covid, though it's going to take additional research and good medical care for that to matter. 

Really, these are very discouraging times.

It's on us to do what we can to make things better.

Wear a mask when you are indoors in public spaces.

Actually, change that to "wear a respirator".

There is a lot of anti-masking sentiment, first directed against protesters, now against ICE. It makes sense, but none of the real or pretend ICE agents are wearing KN95, so let's start using our terms carefully.

https://www.3m.com/3M/en_US/personal-health-care-us/products/face-coverings-101/ 

Wash your hands frequently and thoroughly. 

Consider adding an air purifier. You can still build one with an ordinary fan and filters, but there are commercial ones too. This may not only help with disease, but also with pollen and smoke from wildfires.

Imagine a world where people had taken COVID seriously and not allowed the spread and mutations.

Imagine a world where people had not started spreading ridiculous lies about vaccines, starting with Andrew Wakefield lying for financial gain.

I'd say imagine no Trump and RFKJr, but at that point we will just start to cry.

So in this very difficult time, do the best you can to make things better. 

Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2025/02/im-not-swearing-at-you-this-time-but.html  

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2024/12/wear-damn-mask.html 

Until you find what works

I know it is because I am in school, but I keep thinking back to something on my mission.

My mission was to work with Laotian refugees in the San Joaquin valley.

The Lao language has a completely different alphabet, there are tones that affect which letters get used for some sounds, and there are not many cognates with English.

I had studied French, Spanish, Italian, and even bits of German and Norwegian, but there were no helps with that here. (Well, there were two Lao words that had been pulled from French, but that was about it.)

Previously learning languages had been pretty easy for me. I am not saying that there wasn't any studying or difficulty involved, but reading over the information and looking things up worked pretty well. 

That was all off the table in Lao.

Also, a lot of our work was with younger people who spoke English pretty well, often better than Lao.

We had time set aside each day for language study, but I was not using it effectively. I didn't know how.

This got worse in Modesto, where someone had donated a box of old church literature. There were some old scriptures in it, but also a lot of magazines. I would get distracted reading those magazines. I had always done a lot of reading before, but what we were allowed to read was very limited. Here was a treasure trove. There was a relief to reading in English when I did not feel like I was getting anywhere with the Lao.

Eventually my companion told me that it was a problem and she would have to tell the mission president. I started buckling down for that, because no one wants to get called into the principal's office. I did anyway, because someone else said I had a lot of potential but wasn't fulfilling it (my worst nightmare, other than vampires).

Those are not happy memories, but there is also one huge regret that has gotten worse.

When I did start studying effectively, the key for me ended up being writing. I suspect that is because the different alphabet was not entering my head as well; I needed to get it in via my hands as well as my eyes.

What I later realized would have been perfect was translating the magazines. It would have given me a wide range of vocabulary and given me practice writing and I still would have been able to read the magazines that I found so compelling. 

I still regret that I didn't think of it then. It really would have been perfect. 

I suppose in some ways it was a harder adjustment for me than for some other missionaries learning Lao. I was used to language coming easily, but the process I was using wasn't working. If they didn't have that experience, maybe that made it easier to just keep trying different things until something worked. 

Then again, maybe the first thing they tried did work, even if it required more effort.

In school I keep having to figure out how to approach various assignments. Often the first one that seems logical also feels wrong. 

I won't immediately give up the way that feels wrong, because there could just be some aversion to schoolwork or procrastination going on. However, it is important to remember that lots of different approaches are possible. Not only is it okay to change things up, it may be vital.

I suppose I am also thinking about this because on the main blog I am writing about different options for resisting. There often seems to be some failure of imagination. If you always do what you've always done...

The point is, don't give up. 

Do give it more thought.