Sunday, October 29, 2017

Every creeping thing

This is a departure from my previously scheduled material, because I have fresh grief and anger.

Today we have three cats and one dog, but Friday there was a fourth cat. That is why there is grief.

In the middle of the grief, I started thinking about how we only know the origins of one of our cats.

In 1996 we had just lost the last of our original clowder to old age, but there was a stray hanging around and we started putting food out. Eventually Max started letting us pet her, and coming into the house, and she slowly but surely became an indoor cat.

Once we could get close enough, we saw that she had been spayed, and there was an old flea collar on her, but there weren't any other clues to her age or history. When she died seventeen years later, we knew that she was at least eighteen, then, and that is pretty old, but she could have been older still and we had no way of knowing.

It was too hard being without a cat, so for the first time ever we officially adopted a cat from an adoption group: no ads in the paper, no friend of a coworker having kittens, just going and finding a cat. So we knew Maeve's age and that her owners had given her up when they moved, and the name she was used to, though it kind of got transformed into Mavis.

Otherwise, this spring Lilly Belle was found at the side of a very busy road when she was probably no more than four weeks old. The woman who found her looked for signs of other cats, but didn't see any.

Two years before that Ashley turned up starving in our back yard, and was probably about six months old. I think she is a little smaller than she would be if she had never had that starving period in the middle of her growth period.

And before that, when our only cat was Mavis, Maria took her class on a field trip to a cat shelter and fell in love with Cody, whom we had to take or he was unlikely to be adopted. Cody was older, maybe ten, but that is only a guess. Teeth can help you figure out age, but he had lost all of his. That and a balance problem indicated that he might have been hit by a car. He was found wandering around too; it just seems like he had a harder time getting there.

It was probably during his time on the streets that he picked up the herpes that would flare up and give him respiratory trouble, and the pododermatitis in his front paws, but he probably would have had the allergies anyway.

He did in fact have a lot of health problems even before the ataxia started that turned out to be connected to a rapidly growing tumor, but he was so good about everything anyway. If he had to move his head back and forth to balance, it did not stop him from getting where he wanted to go. He only got sick enough to quit purring once. He was still purring Friday. Three years was good but we would have wanted longer.

I don't know that his time on the streets shortened his life, because we don't know what caused the tumor, but it makes me mad that he had to go through so much.

This current system regularly gives us cats that we love, but it leaves a lot more cats that aren't so lucky. We could find another way to get cats. That's three lucky cats, but two were kittens and how often is there only one kitten? There could have been siblings and mothers out there. There are shelter cats still waiting for someone. There are cats that have had to go feral because no one stepped up. And how much did Mavis miss the people who let her go? It took her a while to love us.

If I start getting into dogs, and all of the abandonment and neglect and abuse there, we'll be here a while. Let me just say that when it seems like our animal population numbers are ridiculous, that was never planned. We just have soft hearts.

So what I really want to say is don't contribute to this. Don't take in an animal and then decide the commitment is too much. Don't be careless with them so that they get lost. Don't let cats out! Yes, it can take some getting used to for them, but we have turned four strays into indoor only cats, so I know it's possible. Doing that protects birds, and the cats live longer and are healthier. They won't get hit by cars or eaten by coyotes or tortured by future serial killers. Just don't.

And if this doesn't seem like a topic for a religious blog, remember that not a sparrow falls but that God knows it. The dominion we were given over the Earth and the beasts upon it was never a license to abuse. It is not an excuse to neglect.

I am glad that we had Cody, but if an easier and longer life for him meant that it all happened with someone else, that could be okay. We are good at finding cats, but it can be hard for them to find good homes. Don't contribute to that.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

I was in prison, and ye came unto me

Back to that day when the immediacy of the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats hit me, we had a friend go to jail.

He was not a close friend. We talked to him sometimes and tried to keep an eye out for him. Still, this was big, and the least we could do was write to him.

In truth, we never actually visited him. Sometimes he was pretty far away, and most of the time there is this process where you have to get on an approved list and there can only be a limited number of people on the list, but a lot of it was learning to navigate the system.

At first, we could only send him post cards, which limited the available space, and there had to be a full return address, which meant you couldn't save space by abbreviating that. Then, when he got transferred we could start using envelopes and multiple pages again, but there were rules for that too. Sometimes they would forward a letter if he was transferred, and sometimes it would simply come back. One letter disappeared, and it seemed like it could have been a censorship issue, but I could not think of anything I wrote that was improper. I mean, I knew that was an issue and I wasn't exactly pushing boundaries.

We would have loved to send care packages, but that was out. You could send books as long as they came directly from someone like Amazon or Barnes and Noble. We could not buy a book and then send it ourselves, or use any of the private sellers through Amazon.

I think we did a phone call once. That is a hassle too, because they may that very expensive and inconvenient. It shouldn't be, because most phone services are pretty cheap now, but there are provider monopolies and they gouge. Some prisons are switching to video chat only, and they are gouging too.

It is easy to argue that a lot of these things are important for security. Some of them probably are. Today is not going to be my only post about this.

Just for today, though, one thing I remember noticing over time is that it seemed like when they mentioned any prison program at all - whether it was training shelter dogs or gardening or continuing education - the statistics on reducing recidivism were always good. It did not seem to matter what the program was, but just that there was something that was allowing them to connect and set goals and work toward something.

If such small things can be so valuable, it seems like we should make that a priority. Even if you don't care about the individual prisoners (and you should, but let's say that you don't), you should care about the overall reduction in crime. There is an advantage to having members of society that are productive, engaged, and fulfilled.

Instead, we take even something as minor as letting the prisoners stay in touch with people who care about them, and we turn it into an obstacle course and opportunity for profiteers.

There is more to this story.


Sunday, October 15, 2017

Giving to the homeless

Building on last week, there can be many right answers for giving. It is not my place to tell anyone how to give specifically, but I feel comfortable saying in general that we should be thinking about it and listening for how we should give.

I know there are people who have a general policy against giving to panhandlers, believing it is more effective to give to programs like food banks and shelters. That may work better than just giving money to people who ask for it.

In my observation, sometimes it seems like the neediest don't ask. Some of them may just be too beaten down to keep trying, but also I remember one man who never interacted with the flesh and blood people around him. Every morning when I saw him, it looked like he was talking to the building. I don't know what it looked like to him.

So, what you get asked may not be the most reliable indicator of how to help or what is needed. Even those times when I have been prompted, my couple of dollars is probably not a big deal, but I wonder sometimes if it is just to let them know that they are seen, and remembered.

It may not always be for them. I remember once feeling strongly to give to one man sitting down with a sign. I was too slow to react where I actually had to backtrack a little, but then another man said something, and he was frustrated with it, because he needed it more.

I don't remember exactly what he said - just the frustration - but we talked. He had just lost his housing, but was desperately holding onto his gym membership so he would still have a place to shower. I had never thought of that before, but I later learned that it is common. Some gym memberships are really cheap and rent never is. He was more frustrated that day because he was literally just coming back from a food bank and they had given him a bag full of things that he could not use.

So we swapped. I gave him some cash and he gave me the food he couldn't use. I was going to be helping with a food drive that weekend, so it was good timing. Someone else could be able to use it, especially someone with a kitchen. I didn't give him that much money; I never have that much money. Maybe it helped some, but the listening probably helped more.

He was in touch with programs, but they were not meeting his needs. I am sure it is possible to argue that he was being difficult. Some people would definitely be turned off by the anger, but if you haven't recently had to worry about being able to shower before a job interview or having a place to keep food that you don't have a can opener for, those things can be frustrating.

I know there are programs that do a really good job too. At least one food bank has different options for people who are actually on the streets versus in a home but poor. Still, there are a lot of shortcomings. Some programs discriminate against LGBT+ people; those youth are so much more likely to end up homeless that this is a real shortcoming. Some programs don't allow pets, which may be someone's only source of emotional warmth. Some hate shelters because of lice and contagious diseases. These are all things that you can easily not think about if you have a home, but not everyone does.

When you do really think about it, it's easy to get discouraged, and private giving seems woefully inadequate. It can then be logical to look at the structure. Is there a way to increase affordable housing? Is there a way to fix income inequality? Can we do more for mental illness?

Possibly as individuals we can't. We can look into uniting with other individuals, or at working with the government, or finding ways to multiply the existing resources. There are a lot of ways to go.

One time I was heading to the bakery to pick up a cake. The bus passed two homeless men and I felt I had to give something to them. I bought some extra food at the bakery and took it to them. They were walking when I passed them, and I didn't see them right away. It was easy to feel silly, but I went down another street or two and found them. It also looked like they already had some food. I think it was a weird interaction for them, but it felt like the right thing to do and I did it. Maybe they were going to have an opportunity to share, but maybe it was for me. Maybe it was a reminder that we had a lot. Even when things felt tight, we could still get a cake.

You can see how many unknowns there are. Even if I could fool myself into thinking that I can teach someone else how to give right, how would I quantify it? I can only suggest looking and listening.

Think about things with your head and keep openness in your heart. There may be miracles. There may be miracles you don't recognize, but things can happen."Be not forgetful to entertain strangers:for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." (Hebrews 13:2)

If you have concerns about being able to hear, or to understand what you are hearing and know that you are hearing it, that can be resolved through prayer, and probably through some trial and error. It's not an accident that faith, hope, and charity get grouped together -- they feed on each other and lift each other up.

I believe that we can grow together in love, and I hope that we will.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Giving decisions

I'm going to do something really unconventional here and speak in concrete terms about money.

There is a long tradition of not doing this. I have been a part of it. I remember teaching a Sunday school lesson on tithing, and the question came up about paying on the net or the gross, and I answered "It's ten percent of your increase," just like I had heard so many times before.

There is good reason for that. Letting people decide what is right for them is appropriate. I remember sometimes hearing some people say "Do you want net or gross blessings?"to be cute. It technically still leaves the decision to the listener, but it's also prejudicial, clearly implying that one way is superior.

Perhaps partly because of that, I have always calculated my tithing based on my gross income. I would reconsider at times, based on not getting the amount taxed. I would then think that I would have to pay tithing on any refunds, but also, I would decide that I do benefit from the taxes paid, so continue paying on the gross. And I usually do some kind of extra contribution when I get a refund anyway, it just isn't tithing. As much thought as went into it, it was still ultimately a feeling of what was right, and that was individual.

It is easy to feel like the thing that is right for you is right, period. Obviously, that must be what everyone does. This is never a safe assumption.

I have seen at least one person say that they pay on the net. It would probably be more if it was something people talked about more openly. Because we should not be trying to impose our will on others, that can be a good reason to not talk about these things, but also I think I am a better person, and have a better understanding, for knowing that at least one good person with sincere faith pays on the net.

I have often had people preach paying a generous fast offering, and never have they given specifics on generous. They just repeat "generous" like "ten percent of your increase".

I first remember thinking about this on my mission. Missionaries don't get a lot of money, but rent and utilities are paid, so that money only needs to cover groceries, toiletries, and so forth. I think we got around $100 a month back then (this was in '93/'94, Fresno), and I had been paying around $10, but I felt to double it. Sometimes things got tight, but it worked out.

I probably kept on doing that for the next ten years, but where I really remember thinking about it again was probably around 2000. I know the date it ended precisely (the reason for that will become clear later), but I can't remember exactly when it started.

I think it started with a double it, that probably went from $20 to $40, and as time went on, I kept feeling to increase it. $60. $80. It definitely got to $120, and I think topped out at $140, but I remember wondering how high it could go. Could I get to a point where I was donating more than I was living on? (I was probably making about $48000 a year then.)

Then in September 2008 I lost my job and the tech sector crashed before I could get a new one. Even by the time I was working full time again, I never got back to where I was financially.

In light of that, it would be hard not to wonder whether I shouldn't have been doing something else with my money, like building up savings or paying extra on the mortgage or something. I can tell you that I was getting help from the church for a while and any amount I had built up was blown through pretty fast. It felt like a lot of money to give at the time, but it wasn't really that much.

Instead, I was learning to listen, and I hope to be unselfish and to trust, even if those traits are still not perfect within me.

Now, back to the last week's concerns about charitable giving that inspired this detour.

I do not give to every panhandler I encounter. Frankly, I usually don't have enough to really give much. However, I am sometimes prompted to give, and I really try and listen to that and act on it quickly.

Sometimes they haven't asked. I remember seeing someone on the train who looked like he was asking other people, but after a couple of "no" answers he stopped. I was prompted to give to him. I have offered to people who didn't ask but it felt like they needed it. And sometimes they ask, and "yes" is right, and sometimes it's okay to say "I'm sorry, I can't."

I hope it is clear that the purpose of this post is not to tell anyone what is right for them, or to brag about how righteous and generous I am. I do think it can be helpful to get a greater insight into the thought process and decisions of other people sometimes, and then I usually go and make an emotional, intuitive decision. Or, I hope, that what happens is a guided, inspired decision.

There are a lot of different combinations out there. The right answer for me may not be the right answer for you. It would probably be weird if it were. It can get more complicated too; do you tithe on gift cards? (I haven't, but I suppose if I got a lot in them, I might.)

What I feel real confidence in is that there are answers available. We can know and we can listen and we can do a lot of good that way.We may be wrong about it even at the time. When I was continually increasing my fast offering, I now think that was more about what I needed to learn from it than the money that was needed by others. It probably still helped some others, and God is good at making blessings flow in multiple directions like that.

Think of how much the "Trying to be like Jesus" series kept coming back to his knowledge of people individually and making their healing or learning experiences unique to them. That still applies.

There are individual answers for you, with individual lessons and individual opportunities. There are also many individuals around you that He cares about just as much, and whom you can serve. Be ready, be willing, and listen.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Sheep and goats - abundance

I am in a time now where I am struggling financially. That may explain why the concept of abundance has been so much on my mind.

"I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." - John 10:10

This key phrase is part of another sheep metaphor. Jesus is talking about his role as the good shepherd, who will die for his sheep. The sheep respond to him differently because the others will abandon the sheep, or kill or steal them.

There is enough of this imagery that I find it interesting when church goers become fond of "sheeple" as an insult. I know what they mean, but they are usually overgeneralizing and assuming superiority, which is not very Christ-like. Sheep are not blindly following if they are following the one who loves them and serves them, who sacrifices for them. Stated following without thought may turn out to be not following at all, on closer inspection. That is why some people will think that the only problem with their following was that they never encountered Jesus personally.

Following consciously means taking on more of the shepherd's role. As Jesus sent the twelve forth to the lost sheep of Israel, he told them...

"Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give." - Matthew 10:8

This is the pathway to abundance: freely giving and receiving.

Since March I have been primarily been focusing on passages from the New Testament, specifically the gospels. It is definitely time for The Book of Mormon now, in Mosiah 4:

"16 And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.

17 Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—

18 But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.

19 For behold, are we not all beggars?..."

In his injunctions to give, Jesus doesn't say anything about screening. Today there is a lot of paperwork that goes into getting help, lest we risk someone getting help that doesn't need it or deserve it. This is stressful for people who are already in a time of crisis, and it can also feel really humiliating. That is not abundance.


It is hard not to notice how often those who have benefited from various aid programs are the first to want to cut them off. Paul Ryan and Ben Carson (SSI and food stamps, respectively but not exclusively) stand out in particular.

That sounds like it is getting political. If some parties are more likely to be against the most basic Christian teachings, and if they still preach adherence to Christian principles, and if other parties that on one level seem to be more generous still find themselves holding back in some areas, those are all areas worthy of thought and discussion. That is not what we are doing right now.

(Whether individual giving can be enough is also a reasonable discussion, and we probably will spend some time on that in other posts, but I feel a need now to talk about making decisions on giving, so that will be next week.)

What seems most important now, though, is that on an individual level Christians are required to respond to the needs of those around them.

It might be reasonable that when someone is asking for money you buy them food instead. Might.

It is definitely reasonable that sometimes you may not have aid to give. Still in Mosiah 4:

24 And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give.

25 And now, if ye say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless, otherwise ye are condemned; and your condemnation is just for ye covet that which ye have not received.

That is actually very comforting for me. Yes, there is still room for the poor to be condemned for their bad attitudes - I could look at it that way. But also, even when I have nothing material to give, I can still have a giving mind, instead of a judgmental mind. There is still something I can do right. There is value in the "yes" in my heart.


On that note, let's take one more verse from Mosiah 4:

20 And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on his name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy.

There are things that only God can give, and those are given generously.

There are no excuses for our withholding.


Give freely. Receive freely.

It cannot be clearer than that.