I have already indicated that I feel like I am at loose ends with this blog, in a temporary lull before I get ready to start my next project. I have thought about taking a break from it, but that doesn't feel right. A few things have gotten me thinking about what I am going to do.
I was thinking that something I should do with Aaron is to go through the different chapters of Preach My Gospel, and write about them, kind of like we were studying it together. I have sent him a copy already. I think that is what I will blog about, probably doing one chapter per week.
Of course, preparedness has always had a pretty broad definition here, so preparing to share the Gospel with people, and being mentally and spiritually prepared, is fairly reasonable anyway, but that is not the only reason I am doing it.
One is that Aaron's release date is getting closer, and I expect that to be kind of a rough adjustment. Anything we can do to make that easier, and be more prepared, is good.
Two is that it will focus my study a little, and I have been doing some backsliding there, so I believe that adding this component will be beneficial to me.
Three is that yesterday a friend was talking about this feeling of impending doom. She was comparing it to the pre-World War I feeling in Europe, that despite geographic and language boundaries, people in various countries felt like there was something bad inevitably coming. possibly due to a long period of peace leading to a decadence and ease that did not seem like it could last.
She added that a lot of people seem to be getting car kits and things, wanting to be ready. They may joke about the Zombie Apocalypse, but only the zombie part is a joke, and there is still a real fear.
Well, the world is facing some trouble, with economics and environment, and so many problems that don't even seem capable of being fixed. It's not a reason to ignore the environment or education or politics, but the most important things that we do seem to be the things that happen one on one. The most important comfort that we can give, and the most safety, and the most hope, come from the Gospel.
I have always been pretty good about letting people know that I am LDS, and answering questions, and I do that. I also am good about not pushing my beliefs, or only being able to talk about religion, which I believe is very important. Still, there might be room for improvement, and this might be the time for it.
I don't know where it will lead, but I know what I am doing for now. Situation normal.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Preparing to kick the habit
Well, that makes it sound a little more dramatic than where we are actually going.
The phrase "kicking the habit" may derive from the violent tremors that rock the body of someone going through heroin withdrawal, which is physically traumatic. I have no tips for this, but I suspect it is better done in a facility with people with medical knowledge around.
The reason I used the phrase is that I have noticed how strongly rooted thinking patterns can be. I'm not sure that it's entirely accurate to say that thoughts are addictive, but they are certainly habit-forming.
This seems especially damaging with negative thoughts. People will try and improve in various ways, but the inner voice that calls them stupid, ugly, and worthless is always at the background, and jumping forward with any little opening.
If you can make bad habits, though, it stands to reason that you can also create good habits. This first led me to think of the work of Émile Coué, who worked with optimistic auto-suggestion: "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better."
That sounds like a crock, of course, but it got me looking into it a little more. His work was to help patients heal better from medical issues, making them feel like their medicine was better, and working at giving their physical health a psychological boost, which may have worked temporarily, at least.
For psychological improvement, I think it is too vague and too broad. I did do better in this way, but I completely failed in this, therefore "every way" is false, and I was actually worse yesterday than two days ago, and so on, until there is no benefit. I'm not sure doing positive affirmations in the mirror is helpful.
However, I do think that interrupting negative thoughts with affirming reminders can be helpful. These should be simple and true statements. I suspect it helps if they are rooted in goals. So, talking with one girl who struggles with an eating disorder, one thing she really wants is to be able to help her sister, for whom she feels a lot of gratitude. Being available to her sister means that she needs to be healthy, not in the hospital, and not being devoured with thoughts about weight gain, which is something she actually needs.
So, when those dark thoughts come, maybe she should be saying things like "I want a strong body", "I want a strong mind", "I want to be there for my sister". At some point it might be good to say things like "This is a healthy weight" or "My weight does not define me", but those are a little hard to commit to now.
We all have weaknesses, but I believe we all have strengths too, and we can accomplish the things that we need to. If we consciously choose our priorities, and figure out the basic components of those things (possibly in a long journal writing session), we can come up with a few key statements the reaffirm our priorities, and our worth, and bring them out when we need them.
It is so tempting to wallow in despair; there is a certain safety and comfort to it. Growing, and healing, is much more frightening. It is only fair that in removing the old source of destructive comfort, that you add a new type of comfort, and that it be one that is conducive to healing.
A lot of people like to turn to hymns or memorized scriptures when dark thoughts come, and that is valuable too. This would just be something more personalized.
I am a child of God.
I have helped people.
I want to help more people.
I need to be strong. That means I must take care of myself.
What do you want? What do you need? They go together more than you think, and maybe they are also what you deserve, if you can see it.
The phrase "kicking the habit" may derive from the violent tremors that rock the body of someone going through heroin withdrawal, which is physically traumatic. I have no tips for this, but I suspect it is better done in a facility with people with medical knowledge around.
The reason I used the phrase is that I have noticed how strongly rooted thinking patterns can be. I'm not sure that it's entirely accurate to say that thoughts are addictive, but they are certainly habit-forming.
This seems especially damaging with negative thoughts. People will try and improve in various ways, but the inner voice that calls them stupid, ugly, and worthless is always at the background, and jumping forward with any little opening.
If you can make bad habits, though, it stands to reason that you can also create good habits. This first led me to think of the work of Émile Coué, who worked with optimistic auto-suggestion: "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better."
That sounds like a crock, of course, but it got me looking into it a little more. His work was to help patients heal better from medical issues, making them feel like their medicine was better, and working at giving their physical health a psychological boost, which may have worked temporarily, at least.
For psychological improvement, I think it is too vague and too broad. I did do better in this way, but I completely failed in this, therefore "every way" is false, and I was actually worse yesterday than two days ago, and so on, until there is no benefit. I'm not sure doing positive affirmations in the mirror is helpful.
However, I do think that interrupting negative thoughts with affirming reminders can be helpful. These should be simple and true statements. I suspect it helps if they are rooted in goals. So, talking with one girl who struggles with an eating disorder, one thing she really wants is to be able to help her sister, for whom she feels a lot of gratitude. Being available to her sister means that she needs to be healthy, not in the hospital, and not being devoured with thoughts about weight gain, which is something she actually needs.
So, when those dark thoughts come, maybe she should be saying things like "I want a strong body", "I want a strong mind", "I want to be there for my sister". At some point it might be good to say things like "This is a healthy weight" or "My weight does not define me", but those are a little hard to commit to now.
We all have weaknesses, but I believe we all have strengths too, and we can accomplish the things that we need to. If we consciously choose our priorities, and figure out the basic components of those things (possibly in a long journal writing session), we can come up with a few key statements the reaffirm our priorities, and our worth, and bring them out when we need them.
It is so tempting to wallow in despair; there is a certain safety and comfort to it. Growing, and healing, is much more frightening. It is only fair that in removing the old source of destructive comfort, that you add a new type of comfort, and that it be one that is conducive to healing.
A lot of people like to turn to hymns or memorized scriptures when dark thoughts come, and that is valuable too. This would just be something more personalized.
I am a child of God.
I have helped people.
I want to help more people.
I need to be strong. That means I must take care of myself.
What do you want? What do you need? They go together more than you think, and maybe they are also what you deserve, if you can see it.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Preparing to be a good sport
Well, it starts with being a good loser, but I may expand a little. It all started with Jeopardy! Kids Week. Sometimes I skip it, or fast forward, because the questions are too easy, but there were some good moments here.
There was an absolutely adorable boy, Josiah, who seemed like a younger version of my friend Carlos, winning his day. There was one fast and knowledgeable kid, Skyler, who with aggressive wagering on Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy who scored the third highest single day winnings with $66,000. That's coming in between Ken Jennings' top two scores, and he is a kid. That is amazing.
Then there was this kid:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/04/newton-thomas-hurley-jeopardy-cheated_n_3705048.html
I guess I am angrier about it because I am protective of Jeopardy! I love that show. I was on it!
(I wrote about it extensively on the main blog, in about ten posts starting on November 28th, 2011: http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-lost-on-jeopardy-baby.html)
I get that losing is embarrassing - believe me! I also get that adults tend to be more supportive than kids. While it is cool just to make it onto Jeopardy!, especially into a tournament, he probably will get some teasing about the spelling error, though I would be hard-pressed to believe that he doesn't get teased on a regular basis.
Still, the fact that he inserted an extra letter into "emancipation" shows that he did not really know the word - he only kind of knew it. It is a more glaring error than the adult who called the author of Twilight Stephenie Meyers. If he had spelled it "emancipacion", they probably would have taken it, but there is no such word as "emanciptation".
Here's the thing, it did not affect the final outcome at all. There was no way he was going to catch up to Skyler's 66K, and it didn't move him from second to third. It did not affect his winnings. He won exactly the same dollar amount that he would have if he had answered correctly, $2000.
Also, I don't know how far ahead it was filmed, but I am sure it was filmed ahead, so he has had some time to think about it, and he is still saying he was cheated. There was no cheating! It's like that kid from Spellbound insisting that they pronounced "banns" with a "d" at the end, and that's why he got it wrong.
(http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2006/04/inspired-by-office-part-2.html)
So I was irritated, especially by people sending Jeopardy! and Alex Trebek hate, but also I was thinking about this recent advice column letter, where a grandmother was concerned because her grandson blamed a strikeout on the umpire.
Okay, children reacting immaturely to losing is nothing shocking, but they do need to grow out of it, and adults need to help them. I think in this case, the parents are making it worse, so perhaps they have not learned to be good sports. That's okay, I think I can provide some helpful hints.
First of all, no one is perfect. Whatever you do, sometimes someone else will be better than you. Even with things you do well, you will sometimes mess up, and with most things to get to where you do them well, you have to go through some time where you are not so good. You really need to make your peace with this.
I used to try very hard to conceal weaknesses. I got this from my father. Without having thought about it too much, I guess there was this feeling that if people saw a weakness or caught you in a mistake, they would hold it against you.
Well, some people might, but two things that other people don't really like are people who won't admit mistakes, and people who make them feel inferior. I am really open about my weaknesses now, and a lot of people really like that. Perhaps it helps them feel better about their own shortcomings. We do all have them. If you really need to be better than everyone else to be happy, good luck with that. That's just a lot of pressure with low returns.
Also, you miss out on good stuff that way. I have seen so many articles on this kid who feels cheated, and not much on Skyler's achievement, which is amazing. I didn't even think about it, until I read a comment in one forum, and I realized, that's right. Okay, he may seem a little overbearing, but he clearly has some self-confidence and a willingness to take risks, and maybe that's more worth paying attention too.
Maybe this isn't so much actual tips, like remembering to congratulate others when they beat you, but I am thinking more about the point of view. I can be happy for your success. I know my individual errors or failures don't make me a failure as a person - not as long as I am still trying. My behavior comes from that.
So, if you suspect you are being a jerk (possibly because someone says you are one), it might be worth spending some time thinking about what's important, and letting that lead you to chucking your ego.
The more you know!
There was an absolutely adorable boy, Josiah, who seemed like a younger version of my friend Carlos, winning his day. There was one fast and knowledgeable kid, Skyler, who with aggressive wagering on Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy who scored the third highest single day winnings with $66,000. That's coming in between Ken Jennings' top two scores, and he is a kid. That is amazing.
Then there was this kid:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/04/newton-thomas-hurley-jeopardy-cheated_n_3705048.html
I guess I am angrier about it because I am protective of Jeopardy! I love that show. I was on it!
(I wrote about it extensively on the main blog, in about ten posts starting on November 28th, 2011: http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-lost-on-jeopardy-baby.html)
I get that losing is embarrassing - believe me! I also get that adults tend to be more supportive than kids. While it is cool just to make it onto Jeopardy!, especially into a tournament, he probably will get some teasing about the spelling error, though I would be hard-pressed to believe that he doesn't get teased on a regular basis.
Still, the fact that he inserted an extra letter into "emancipation" shows that he did not really know the word - he only kind of knew it. It is a more glaring error than the adult who called the author of Twilight Stephenie Meyers. If he had spelled it "emancipacion", they probably would have taken it, but there is no such word as "emanciptation".
Here's the thing, it did not affect the final outcome at all. There was no way he was going to catch up to Skyler's 66K, and it didn't move him from second to third. It did not affect his winnings. He won exactly the same dollar amount that he would have if he had answered correctly, $2000.
Also, I don't know how far ahead it was filmed, but I am sure it was filmed ahead, so he has had some time to think about it, and he is still saying he was cheated. There was no cheating! It's like that kid from Spellbound insisting that they pronounced "banns" with a "d" at the end, and that's why he got it wrong.
(http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2006/04/inspired-by-office-part-2.html)
So I was irritated, especially by people sending Jeopardy! and Alex Trebek hate, but also I was thinking about this recent advice column letter, where a grandmother was concerned because her grandson blamed a strikeout on the umpire.
Okay, children reacting immaturely to losing is nothing shocking, but they do need to grow out of it, and adults need to help them. I think in this case, the parents are making it worse, so perhaps they have not learned to be good sports. That's okay, I think I can provide some helpful hints.
First of all, no one is perfect. Whatever you do, sometimes someone else will be better than you. Even with things you do well, you will sometimes mess up, and with most things to get to where you do them well, you have to go through some time where you are not so good. You really need to make your peace with this.
I used to try very hard to conceal weaknesses. I got this from my father. Without having thought about it too much, I guess there was this feeling that if people saw a weakness or caught you in a mistake, they would hold it against you.
Well, some people might, but two things that other people don't really like are people who won't admit mistakes, and people who make them feel inferior. I am really open about my weaknesses now, and a lot of people really like that. Perhaps it helps them feel better about their own shortcomings. We do all have them. If you really need to be better than everyone else to be happy, good luck with that. That's just a lot of pressure with low returns.
Also, you miss out on good stuff that way. I have seen so many articles on this kid who feels cheated, and not much on Skyler's achievement, which is amazing. I didn't even think about it, until I read a comment in one forum, and I realized, that's right. Okay, he may seem a little overbearing, but he clearly has some self-confidence and a willingness to take risks, and maybe that's more worth paying attention too.
Maybe this isn't so much actual tips, like remembering to congratulate others when they beat you, but I am thinking more about the point of view. I can be happy for your success. I know my individual errors or failures don't make me a failure as a person - not as long as I am still trying. My behavior comes from that.
So, if you suspect you are being a jerk (possibly because someone says you are one), it might be worth spending some time thinking about what's important, and letting that lead you to chucking your ego.
The more you know!
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Preparing to give first aid
This is a very short one today, but I think it is important. Recently a contact on Twitter was posting pictures from his old first aid manual from 1971. Some of the information is still good, and still how we do things, but others seem a bit outdated. Mainly it was fun for the pictures.
Then today in Parade, there was a quiz on first aid, and I did pretty well on it, but there are some where the wrong response seems similar enough to the correct response that it could seem like a valid thing to do. It was also a reminder that even though there are things that I have always known were wrong, there are people who have believed it was correct, like putting butter on burns. That is a bad thing to do. It won't help, and can actually make the burn worse, but I know someone whose father did it when she was burned, and it was even suggested in a fiction book. The character did not put the butter on, but the book did not point out how bad of an idea it was.
Sometimes this is because we learn by doing, and our knowledge evolves over time. We know how to do CPR better now than we did twenty years ago, though it still saved lives then. Sometimes it's just that people get ideas that may seem instinctive and logical, but are wrong. That would include the butter, and also the very natural instinct to remove a sharp object that is stuck in a person. It has injured them, so is bad; removal feels logical. It just also may really start the blood gushing.
Also, no matter how often we have updated training, we don't use these skills a lot, and we can forget. I think I have had to use direct pressure to stop bleeding once, and even then the amount of blood coming out was small. I have never given CPR.
So this is just a reminder to refresh those skills, so that when something does come up you can make the situation better instead of worse. And starting with the Red Cross makes a lot of sense:
http://www.redcross.org/lp/american-red-cross-first-aid-training-courses?
Then today in Parade, there was a quiz on first aid, and I did pretty well on it, but there are some where the wrong response seems similar enough to the correct response that it could seem like a valid thing to do. It was also a reminder that even though there are things that I have always known were wrong, there are people who have believed it was correct, like putting butter on burns. That is a bad thing to do. It won't help, and can actually make the burn worse, but I know someone whose father did it when she was burned, and it was even suggested in a fiction book. The character did not put the butter on, but the book did not point out how bad of an idea it was.
Sometimes this is because we learn by doing, and our knowledge evolves over time. We know how to do CPR better now than we did twenty years ago, though it still saved lives then. Sometimes it's just that people get ideas that may seem instinctive and logical, but are wrong. That would include the butter, and also the very natural instinct to remove a sharp object that is stuck in a person. It has injured them, so is bad; removal feels logical. It just also may really start the blood gushing.
Also, no matter how often we have updated training, we don't use these skills a lot, and we can forget. I think I have had to use direct pressure to stop bleeding once, and even then the amount of blood coming out was small. I have never given CPR.
So this is just a reminder to refresh those skills, so that when something does come up you can make the situation better instead of worse. And starting with the Red Cross makes a lot of sense:
http://www.redcross.org/lp/american-red-cross-first-aid-training-courses?
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